You Are Not Broken

308. Sex As A Flow State


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In this episode, Dr. Kelly Casperson and Dr. Emily Jamea discuss the evolution of sexual satisfaction, exploring the concept of 'good enough sex' and the pursuit of deeper intimacy through the flow state. They emphasize the importance of safety, communication, and connection in relationships, while addressing common barriers to sexual desire such as complacency and societal expectations.

The conversation highlights the need for couples to actively engage in their sexual lives and prioritize emotional safety to enhance their experiences. In this conversation, Emily Jamea and Kelly Casperson, MD, explore the intricate dynamics of relationships, focusing on the concept of flow state, the importance of preparation and communication, and the impact of self-identity on sexual expression.

They discuss how reconnecting with innate qualities can enhance intimacy, the role of novelty and curiosity in maintaining desire, and the balance between connection and independence in relationships. The conversation emphasizes the significance of touch and the need for effective communication to foster deeper connections.


Takeaways

  • Dr. Jamea's book offers a next-level perspective on sexual satisfaction.
  • The honeymoon phase is temporary; couples seek more than just 'good enough' sex.
  • Flow state is crucial for experiencing heightened sexual satisfaction.
  • Safety in relationships is foundational for women to enjoy sex.
  • Communication is key to understanding each partner's needs and desires.
  • Complacency is a major barrier to sexual desire in couples.
  • Sex should be seen as an opportunity for enjoyment, not obligation.
  • Gender socialization impacts women's perceptions of their sexual desires.
  • Attunement between partners enhances sexual satisfaction.
  • Creating rituals for connection can improve intimacy and sexual experiences. Flow state requires a balance of challenge and skill.
  • Too much novelty can lead to anxiety in relationships.
  • Preparation and communication are crucial for intimacy.
  • We are born with qualities that enhance our sexual experiences.
  • Self-identity significantly impacts sexual expression.
  • Novelty in life can enhance sexual experiences.
  • Touch is essential for relationship satisfaction.
  • Emotional connection is vital for sexual desire.
  • Gentle communication can improve intimacy.
  • Understanding dynamics of desire can enhance relationships.

  • Anatomy Of Desire by Dr. Emily Jamea


    Sedona in October - only a few slots left: https://www.ascendretreats.com/menopause-and-sexual-health-2025


    Order my book "You Are Not Broken: Stop "Should-ing" All Over You Sex Life"

    Listen to my Tedx Talk: Why we need adult sex ed

    Take my Adult Sex Ed Master Class:

    My Website


    Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? Check it out.


    Thanks to our sponsor Midi Women's Health. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.

    Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care.

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    You Are Not BrokenBy Kelly Casperson, MD

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