I just learned these two BEST strategies for responding when    Notice I said respond not react because we know the longer we can space out the action or comment and our reaction the more control we have.    These two strategies will teach you HOW TO RESPOND when someone belittles you or says something disrespectful.    And then best part is, you leave the situation having handled it with confidence and control - and you haven’t lowered your standards for yourself - like the other person likely did.    These are skills that you have to think about BEFORE you’re in the situation so when the situation happens, you’re ready!!      I learned these 2 strategies from Jefferson Fisher, a trial lawyer and an expert on communication.

1. Have them repeat it 
2. Ask them if this is their intention with this 

When someone is belittling to you or says something hurtful- make them repeat it. They are trying to get a reaction out of you.  When you ask them to repeat it - they don’t get that reaction/ that response time.  It takes the fire out of it and flips it on them.  They don’t want to say it again - the spotlight is on them!   THEN ask question of intent. Did you say that to hurt me? Puts a mirror on them.   You don’t have to respond or react at all!!!  It handles it!!  You don’t have to figure out how to respond to something you dont want to respond to.    Did you say that to offend me? Usually it’s no no no I didn’t mean to!!  I’m just kidding - you don’t need to be so sensitive etc.   You’re not going to believe how good this is!!!    Two skills that you have to think about BEFORE you’re in the situation so when the situation happens, you’re ready!!    Listen - some of these comments could come from good people with good intentions.  But it doesn’t always translate this way.  It’s your job to respond in a confident way without it rattling you or making you depressed.   Because we know people opinions have so much more to do with them, than us.    And know!!! Don’t lower your standard of yourself because someone else lowered their standard of themselves.   Next time this happens to you, you’ll be ready to handle it in the most awesome way possible!