Perimenopause and Therapist Identity - Counselling Skills: A Deeper Look at Reflection

In Episode 345 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week’s three topics:

Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice’, we examine working with rehearsed material with Sarah Henry. How to identify it, what it means for the therapeutic relationship, and ethical ways to respond.

Then in ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Laura Davies, who shares her personal experience of navigating perimenopause while working as a therapist, offering insights into how it affected her practice and ways she adapted.

And finally, in ‘Student Services’, Rory and Ken do a deep dive into the counselling skill of reflection. How it works, when to use it, and the important role it plays in helping clients connect with their emotions.

Working with Rehearsed Material [starts at 03:28 mins]

In this section, Rory and Ken discuss how some clients bring emotionally detached, well-practised narratives into therapy.

Key points discussed include:

Working with rehearsed material often shows up with high fluency but low emotional expression.

It can serve as a protective mechanism, a service-shaped narrative, or a way to test the therapist’s response.

Ethical practice involves patience, not forcing emotion, and recognising this material as a valid part of the client’s process.

Micro-interventions such as body-based check-ins, sensory prompts, and careful use of immediacy can gently encourage emotional connection.

Sarah Henry offers a practice-based view of how clients use rehearsed stories early in therapy to build trust and test emotional safety.

Perimenopause and Therapist Identity [starts at 41:15 mins]

In this week’s ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with counsellor Laura Davis about her personal experience of perimenopause and how it impacted her therapeutic presence.

Key points from the conversation include:

Laura describes experiencing brain fog mid-session and questioning her capacity as a therapist.

She talks about adapting her practice - tracking symptoms, working more relationally, and using creative methods.

The emotional impact of shifting identity during menopause, including fears about professional competence.

Ethical considerations around disclosure to clients and maintaining trust in the therapeutic relationship.

The importance of workplace support, supervision, and societal openness around menopause.

Counselling Skills: A Deeper Look at Reflection [starts at 01:08:23 mins]

In this section, Rory and Ken take a deep dive into the skill of reflection, one of the core counselling skills used to help clients access and understand their emotions.

Key points include:

Reflection bridges the story (narrative) with the emotion underneath.

Types of reflection: content, emotional, and meaning-based.

Reflection helps counsellors check attunement and gives clients space to name and explore feelings.

It should be avoided in situations involving risk assessment, contracting, or when responding to clear client questions.

Students are encouraged to develop this skill through journaling, feedback, and supervision.

Links and Resources

Counselling Skills Academy

Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision

Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide

Counsellor CPD

Counselling Study Resource

Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide

Counselling Tutor Training and CPD

Facebook group

Website

Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner’s Guide

Online and Telephone Counselling Course