Mom and Mind

347: Spicy Soapbox Edition! Default Parent with Dr. Kat


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There is so much more to the perinatal mental health story than just postpartum depression. I’m coming in hot today on my soapbox to speak on behalf of many very frustrated mothers. The problem is that they are the default parent, being 100%, or nearly 100% responsible for taking care of EVERYTHING. What makes me sick is the fact that we haven’t come far enough as a society to support new parents, new moms, and new default parents. Being the “cruise director” and the manager of everything for the family and household creates a tremendous amount of stress, depression, and anxiety. Let’s explore this topic in today’s episode!


Show Highlights:

  • Unless you are a single parent by choice, there is another parent who should be partnering with you.
  • If your partner isn’t helping, who else can you depend on for help?
  • Why I call “BS” on society’s attitude that tells moms to try harder and do better
  • My anger and frustration on the behalf of those who are stuck and suffering
  • My goal: to speak up for those who are not being seen and validated for their invisible labor
  • There isn’t an easy solution, but we can start by being supportive and helping the default parent feel a little less alone and a little more seen. 

  • Resources:

    Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to better support people for whom they provide services. 

    You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

    Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

    Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

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    Mom and MindBy Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C

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