Mom and Mind

357: Understanding the Complexity of Perinatal Loss and Grief with Nneka Symister, LCSW


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Perinatal loss and grief are different from other types of grief. In this episode, we discuss how parents can care for themselves during the grief process and why people often don’t acknowledge this kind of grief. We, as a society, do not do a good job in supporting people through perinatal loss and grief. We can do better!

My guest is Nneka Symister, a licensed clinical social worker with over two decades of experience in social services. She has dedicated the past decade to private practice, working with diverse populations in New York, and currently specializes in PMADs, infertility grief, and loss. Working with both individuals and couples, her methods draw from a range of modalities, including CBT, EMDR, interpersonal therapy, and mindfulness. 

Show Highlights:

  • An explanation of perinatal grief
  • Ways in which perinatal grief shows up as “invisible grief”
  • The complexities around perinatal grief that make it difficult to offer the right support
  • How we can “sit” with someone in their grief/loss without being dismissive of their pain
  • In dealing with your grief, protect your space and form a protective circle
  • The difference between grief and suffering
  • The compulsion to find fault and blame ourselves
  • The tendency to be a martyr and not ask for the help we need
  • Flexibility is needed in grieving as your needs change (There is no “proper” way to grieve!)
  • Assessing your basic needs during grief
  • Nneka’s message: “If you are grieving, trust your feelings. Please reach out to a therapist who can sit with you and give you the language to navigate this space to ensure that your needs are met in the best possible way.”

  • Resources:

    Connect with Nneka Symister: Website, Instagram, and LinkedIn

    Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be a better support in offering services. 

    You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

    Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

    Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!


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    Mom and MindBy Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C

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