Blended Family Breakthrough

37. Why do kids struggle to accept their stepparent?


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It feels frustrating and confusing when the kids resist their stepparent.

It seems like no matter how much the stepparent reaches out to connect with the child, they just won't lower their walls — and sometimes those walls seem to be impenetrable!

As adults, we feel like we should be able to figure this out.  Bonding shouldn't be this complicated or challenging…should it?

And that's when we start looking for the silver bullet that will fix the problem. We want to turn things around NOW and finally have a little fun together as a family.  We need a way to end the relational tension, bad attitudes, and disrespect.

Unfortunately, there's no silver bullet that instantly breaks down those walls and gets a kid to accept their stepparent.  (We know…sounds pretty bleak doesn't it?)

But here's the deal, when we understand WHY kids put up those walls in the first place we can begin to help kids dismantle them brick by brick.

To do that, you've got to put yourself in their shoes.  When you understand their "why's", then you'll be ready to approach each situation from a place of empathy — which will gradually bring new opportunities for real change.

In this episode, we'll explore 5 of the most common reasons kids struggle to accept a stepparent and you'll discover — from your kid's viewpoint — why resisting you often seems like the safest way they can emotionally cope.

Plus, we've put together this cheat sheet to help you sort out some of the main reasons why your step-child might be resisting you.  Download it for free by clicking this link.

You'll Discover:

  • Five common reasons why kids resist a stepparent
  • The most crucial step to identify kid's real emotions
  • What's behind negative attitudes and behaviors
  • The benefits of empathy in blended family relationships

Resources from this Episode:

  • We mentioned the book The Smart Stepmom by Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge
  • Episode 29 — What is a Loyalty Bind and What Can You Do About It?
  • We mentioned this video from Brené Brown on Empathy you might want to check it out

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Blended Family BreakthroughBy Mike & Kim Anderson

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