Infertility and pregnancy loss are far more common than we talk about — and far more isolating than most couples expect.

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In this deeply vulnerable episode, we sit down with Alan and Kasey to explore their journey through:

• Multiple miscarriages
• An ectopic pregnancy that nearly turned fatal
• PTSD and trauma after medical emergency
• The invisible grief of infertility
• And the complicated question: What does our future look like now?

What makes their story powerful isn’t just the pain — it’s how they stayed connected through it.

They share:

✔️ How to stay emotionally close when you’re grieving differently

✔️ Why proximity matters more than “fixing it”

✔️ The biggest mistake couples make during infertility

✔️ How trauma can impact intimacy

✔️ Why grief isn’t linear — and what that means for your relationship

✔️ How to avoid drifting apart during long-term loss

If you or someone you love has experienced miscarriage, infertility, or pregnancy loss, this episode will make you feel less alone.

Because infertility may be common — but it’s often invisible.

And you don’t have to navigate it alone.

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Why does sex often become uncomfortable, pressured, or disconnected in midlife — even in loving relationships?

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In this episode, EJ and Tarah are joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles, board-certified gynecologist and national menopause expert, to explore what she calls The Bedroom Gap — the growing difference in expectations, desire, and physical experience that many couples face as they age.

They discuss why so many women feel broken or ashamed when intimacy changes, why couples rarely talk openly about it, and how hormonal shifts, cultural messaging, and outdated definitions of sex create disconnection.

Dr. Sophocles shares three essential steps to closing the gap:

• Know thyself — understanding your body, hormones, and pleasure

• Communicate — removing shame and learning to talk honestly about sex

• Redefine sex — shifting from performance and obligation to connection and pleasure

You will also hear about:

• How perimenopause and menopause impact desire and comfort

• Why pain during sex often leads to avoidance and fear

• How shame silently fuels disconnection

• Why redefining sex beyond penetration changes everything

• The difference between obligation-based sex and connection-based intimacy

• How couples can rebuild trust after long periods of distance

This episode is especially helpful if:

• Intimacy feels tense, painful, or avoided

• One partner feels rejected while the other feels pressured

• Hormonal changes have shifted desire

• You miss feeling close but do not know how to start again

• Shame makes it hard to talk about sex

This is an honest, hopeful conversation about sexual health, emotional safety, and rediscovering pleasure in long-term relationships.

Dr. Sophocles links below: 

The Bedroom Gap: Rewrite the Rules and Roles of Sex in Midlife

https://mariasophoclesmd.com/

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Why does desire often fade in long-term relationships — even when couples deeply love each other?

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In this episode, EJ and Tarah are joined by Dan Purcell, founder of Get Your Marriage On, to explore why intimacy can start to feel pressured, routine, or emotionally distant over time. If you’ve ever wondered why connection doesn’t automatically follow commitment, or why closeness can suddenly feel anxiety-producing instead of natural, this conversation offers a deeper explanation.

Together, they unpack how expectation, anxiety, and unspoken pressure quietly erode connection, and why many couples try to fix intimacy by focusing on the act itself rather than the emotional and nervous-system conditions that make closeness possible.

Dan shares insights from his own marriage and his work helping couples move beyond obligation and routine, including why:

• Desire cannot be forced or scheduled into existence
• Closeness often shuts down when there is pressure or expectation
• Many couples confuse validation with true connection
• Anxiety around vulnerability can lead partners to disconnect without realizing it
• Emotional safety must come before deeper physical closeness

They also discuss practical ways couples can rebuild connection gradually, including slowing down, creating moments of presence, and learning to tolerate closeness instead of rushing past it.

This episode is especially helpful if:

• Intimacy feels tense or disconnected
• One partner feels pressured while the other feels rejected
• You miss feeling close but don’t know how to get back there
• You want to rebuild connection without blame or shame

This is a grounded, honest conversation about intimacy in real relationships — not quick fixes, but what actually helps couples feel close again over time.

🔗 Guest Links

Learn more about Dan Purcell and his work at:

https://getyourmarriageon.com/renovation

Resources & Support

• If you want help applying these tools to your real relationship — not just understanding them — you can join our 👉 Join Our Patreon Community, where we offer deeper teaching, live Q&As, and practical support.

We also offer private coaching and discovery calls for individuals and couples who feel stuck in repeating patterns and want more personalized support.

• Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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Why do the same arguments keep happening — even when you know better?

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In Part 3 of our communication series, relationship therapists Tarah and EJ Kerwin break down what’s really happening underneath conflict: emotional triggers, nervous system hijacking, and defensiveness. These are the moments when logic disappears, your partner feels like the enemy, and small issues turn into big ruptures.

In this episode, we explain why triggers are not character flaws — they’re internal emotional alarms — and how understanding your triggers can help you slow reactivity, reduce damage, and repair more quickly. You’ll learn how to recognize when you’re out of your window of tolerance, how your body signals activation, and how old wounds and core beliefs get activated in present-day relationships.

We also walk through one of the core tools we use with couples: a step-by-step process to understand triggers, identify automatic thoughts and feelings, and reconnect in a more open-hearted, regulated way.

This episode isn’t about never being triggered.

It’s about learning repairable communication — so conflict becomes a pathway to deeper understanding instead of disconnection.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• What emotional triggers actually are (and what they are not)
• Why defensiveness escalates conflict so quickly
• How triggers hijack the nervous system
• Signs you’re outside your window of tolerance
• The connection between triggers, unmet needs, and core beliefs
• How to slow down reactivity in the moment
• A practical framework for understanding and repairing after conflict
• Why healthy relationships aren’t trigger-free — they’re repair-focused

Resources & Support

• If you want help applying these tools to your real relationship — not just understanding them — you can join our 👉 Join Our Patreon Community, where we offer deeper teaching, live Q&As, and practical support.

We also offer private coaching and discovery calls for individuals and couples who feel stuck in repeating patterns and want more personalized support.

• Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon

Connect With Us

Have a communication pattern you’re stuck in or a question about validation or listening?

Email us at [email protected] — we’d love to hear from you.

If this episode helped you, please share it with someone you love or leave a review. It helps other couples find support and hope.

As always: take care of yourself, and take care of each other.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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In Part Two of our Communication Series, EJ and Tarah Kerwin break down three of the most essential — and most misunderstood — relationship skills: validation, active listening, and repair attempts.

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Most couples don’t struggle because they don’t care — they struggle because they were never taught how to communicate when emotions are high. In this episode, EJ and Tarah explain why defensiveness is so common, how quickly conversations turn into arguments, and what it actually means to help your partner feel heard without giving up your own boundaries.

Through real-life examples from their own relationship and years of clinical work, they explore:

• Why validation does NOT mean agreement
• How active listening builds emotional safety (and why it’s so hard)
• Common signs you’re listening defensively instead of openly
• Why couples who avoid conflict often struggle more than couples who fight
• How repair attempts can shorten conflict and prevent resentment
• What to do when you miss the moment — because you will

This episode is practical, honest, and deeply human. If you’ve ever felt unheard, misunderstood, or stuck in the same argument over and over again, this conversation will give you tools you can start using today.

🔑 Key Topics Covered

• Validation vs. defensiveness
• Active listening as a relational skill
• Repairing conflict instead of avoiding it
• Emotional safety and presence
• Communication patterns that quietly damage connection

📚 Resources Mentioned

• Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
• 👉 Join Our Patreon Community

💬 Connect With Us

Have a communication pattern you’re stuck in or a question about validation or listening?

Email us at [email protected] — we’d love to hear from you.

If this episode helped you, please share it with someone you love or leave a review. It helps other couples find support and hope.

As always: take care of yourself, and take care of each other.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Is communication the biggest struggle in your relationship? You’re not alone.

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In Part 1 of our 3-part Communication Series, relationship experts and hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin break down why communication goes wrong so often—even when we love our partner and have the best intentions.

This episode focuses on the “DON’Ts” of communication: the instinctive, automatic responses we fall into when we’re tired, defensive, triggered, or overwhelmed. These reactions may feel honest in the moment, but they often shut down connection and emotional safety.

Through real-life examples, personal stories, and practical reframes, Tarah and EJ show how the same situations can feel completely different when handled with validation, active listening, and emotional awareness.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why emotional invalidation damages trust (even when you’re trying to help)
• How saying “I never said that” escalates conflict instead of resolving it
• Why accusations and blame shut down vulnerability
• The hidden danger of mind reading and unspoken expectations
• Why fights about chores are almost never about the chores
• How just one partner responding differently can completely change the outcome of a conflict

This episode lays the foundation for healthier communication—not perfection. If you’ve ever thought, “We keep having the same fight over and over,” this series is for you.

Coming next:

• Part 2: Validation & Active Listening (the skills that change everything)
• Part 3: Triggers, Repair Attempts & Slowing Reactivity

Resources Mentioned:

• Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon
• Relationship Renovation at Home Podcast Community & Membership
• Monthly live Q&A with Tarah & EJ
• Deeper video lessons
• Daily relationship tips
• Now only $25/month

👉 Join Our Patreon Community

Subscribe & Stay Connected

If this episode resonates with you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone who might need it. Small shifts in communication can lead to profound changes in your relationship.

Take care of yourself. Take care of each other. 💛

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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Why do so many couples feel stuck repeating the same painful patterns — even after therapy, books, and years of personal growth?

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In this conversation with Thais Gibson, founder of the Personal Development School, EJ and Tarah explore why insight alone doesn’t lead to lasting change in relationships. If you’ve ever thought “I know better, so why do I keep reacting the same way?” this episode helps explain what’s really happening beneath the surface.

Join Our Patreon Community

Together, they unpack how attachment patterns, nervous system responses, and emotional conditioning keep couples locked in familiar cycles of conflict, shutdown, or disconnection — and why trying harder, being more aware, or having good intentions often isn’t enough to break those patterns.

Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why understanding your patterns doesn’t automatically change them
• How attachment wounds get activated in close relationships
• Why shame and self-blame keep couples stuck
• What actually helps create lasting relational shifts
• How emotional safety supports real change over time

This episode is especially helpful if you:

• Feel stuck in the same relationship dynamics
• Have done personal growth work but still feel triggered
• Wonder why your relationship feels harder than it “should”
• Want a compassionate, practical understanding of attachment and change

This is a grounding, validating conversation for couples who are tired of trying harder — and ready to understand what actually helps patterns soften and connection grow.

🔗 Learn More About Thais Gibson

• Personal Development School: https://www.personaldevelopmentschool.com
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thaisgibson

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon

Join Our Patreon Community

Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

Why do couples swear they’ll “do better next time” — and then fall into the exact same fights again?

In this episode, we’re joined by Thais Gibson, leading attachment theory expert and founder of The Personal Development School, to unpack why relationship change often doesn’t stick — and what actually works at the subconscious and nervous system level.

We talk about how attachment styles, core wounds, and nervous system responses quietly drive conflict, shutdown, and disconnection — even when both partners deeply care. Thais shares practical tools for rewiring attachment patterns so couples and individuals can move toward secure attachment, emotional safety, and real connection.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, triggered, or discouraged because insight alone hasn’t changed your relationship, this conversation will give you hope and concrete next steps.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Why insight and “trying harder” don’t change relationship patterns
• How attachment wounds form — and why they repeat in adult relationships
• The difference between subconscious vs. unconscious patterns
• Why couples fight about surface issues (like laundry or tone) when the real pain runs deeper
• How anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment styles experience conflict differently
• The role of the nervous system in emotional shutdown, defensiveness, and reactivity
• A step-by-step tool for rewiring core attachment wounds using memory, imagery, and emotion
• Why affirmations often fail — and what works instead
• How partners unknowingly validate each other’s deepest fears
• What secure attachment actually looks like in real relationships (not perfection)

Key Takeaways:

• You’re not broken — your nervous system learned patterns to survive
• Most relationship conflict is driven by subconscious meaning, not the present moment
• Attachment styles can be rewired, not just managed
• Emotional safety changes behavior faster than logic
• Secure attachment is a skill, not a personality trait

About Our Guest

Thais Gibson is a globally recognized expert in attachment theory and the founder of The Personal Development School, where she has helped millions of people understand and rewire their relationship patterns. Her work integrates neuroscience, attachment theory, and practical tools for lasting emotional change.

Resources Mentioned:

• Free Attachment Style Quiz: https://www.personaldevelopmentschool.com
• YouTube: Thais Gibson – Personal Development School
• Instagram: @thepersonaldevelopmentschool

Who This Episode Is For

• Couples who feel disconnected but still care
• Individuals stuck in repeating relationship patterns
• Anyone curious about attachment theory beyond surface-level explanations
• Partners who want real tools — not just insight

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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Intentions Worksheet

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

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Join Our Patreon Community

Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

Most couples don’t fall apart overnight.

They drift apart slowly—through busy schedules, unspoken patterns, and lack of intentional connection.

In this episode of Relationship Renovation, licensed therapists EJ and Tarah Kerwin explain why couples drift apart and share a simple, practical framework that helps couples stay emotionally connected over time.

Instead of focusing on fixing problems, this episode shows couples how to prevent disconnection by setting shared intentions, identifying repeating relationship patterns, and using daily, weekly, and monthly check-ins to stay aligned.

This episode is especially helpful if you:

• Feel emotionally disconnected from your partner
• Keep repeating the same relationship patterns
• Want better communication but don’t know where to start
• Start strong and lose momentum over time

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Why emotional disconnection happens gradually in long-term relationships
• How couples unintentionally drift apart—even when love is present
• A step-by-step framework to stay connected year-round
• How to set shared relationship intentions that actually stick
• Why daily, weekly, and monthly check-ins prevent emotional distance
• How resets build trust and emotional safety over time

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon

Join Our Patreon Community

Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

What if the problem isn’t how often you’re having sex — but how present you are when you’re together?

In this episode of Relationship Renovation, EJ and Tarah Kerwin sit down with Dan Purcell, intimacy educator, founder of Get Your Marriage On, and host of the podcast by the same name. Together, they explore what Dan calls “Eyes Open Intimacy” — a way of approaching sexual and emotional connection that prioritizes presence, safety, and genuine attunement over performance or obligation.

This honest, vulnerable conversation dives into why many couples feel disconnected even when they’re having sex, how anxiety and shame show up in the bedroom, and why true intimacy begins before anything physical happens.

Dan shares powerful insights from his own marriage and years of coaching couples, offering practical tools that help partners slow down, regulate their nervous systems, and reconnect in ways that feel safe and meaningful.

Get Your Marriage On... Dan Purcell

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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