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Highlights from the Episode

• How Sex Turns Transactional: Tarah shares a story from a recent couples session: “If you do this and you do it well, I’ll give you sex.” Sound familiar? Turns out, it’s more common than we think.
• Both Partners Are Responsible: EJ and Tarah reflect on their own patterns of expectation, let-down, and the rewards/punishments that silently build up over time.
• Unspoken Stories Drive Anxiety: Ever felt relief when your partner wasn’t expecting sex… or disappointment when connection didn’t lead there? You’re not alone. Opening up those stories, rather than burying them, is the first step to real change.
• Emotional Safety is Key: The hosts discuss how building a foundation of emotional safety—being able to share, be transparent, and give verbal appreciation—creates true desire and real intimacy.
• Actionable Tools: From ‘The Frisky Scale’ (yes, really!) to conversation starters on how you want to feel valued outside the bedroom, EJ and Tarah give you practical ways to break the transaction cycle.

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In this deeply personal episode, Tarah interviews EJ about his avoidant tendencies — why he used to shut down during conflict, how it affected their relationship, and what it took to start feeling safe enough to stay present when things got hard.

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

Or email us directly at [email protected] with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” 

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Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

Or email us directly at [email protected] with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” 

Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon

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Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

In this episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, licensed therapists and hosts EJ and Tarah Kerwin explore the delicate balance between being attuned to your partner and staying true to yourself. Drawing from their own relationship journey—as both a couple and co-therapists—they share real stories, practical tools, and insights that help couples move from reactivity to connection.

You’ll learn how to:

• Communicate your needs without triggering defensiveness
• Recognize and respond to your partner’s emotional cues
• Use timing and tone to create emotional safety during conflict
• Prevent resentment and strengthen trust through consistent repair

If you’ve ever wished you could communicate better during moments of stress, this episode will give you hope, clarity, and actionable skills to build a more emotionally safe and connected relationship.

Join EJ and Tarah as they model vulnerability, share their own “fail moments,” and guide you toward becoming more connected, understanding, and confident in your communication—one intentional conversation at a time.

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Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

Or email us directly at [email protected] with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” 

Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon

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Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

Are you tired of small habits turning into big fights? Do you wish your partner could just “know” how you feel—without you having to explain it every time?

In this episode of Relationship Renovation, Tarah and EJ Kerwin share how hidden assumptions and unspoken judgments quietly chip away at intimacy. Drawing from a recent psychodrama training and their own marriage, they reveal how a simple act like fixing a partner’s hair uncovered 15 years of miscommunication and resentment.

You’ll learn:

• Why assumptions and daily habits can trigger unexpected tension
• How to use the “Empty Chair” technique for safe, honest conversations
• Simple ways to stop wishing your partner could read your mind—and start creating emotional safety instead

If you’re ready to turn everyday frustrations into opportunities for growth and connection, this episode offers both heartfelt stories and actionable tools.

🎧 Listen now to start breaking free from assumptions and building a stronger, more intentional relationship.

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Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

Or email us directly at [email protected] with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” 

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Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

In episode 245 of the Relationship Renovation Podcast hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin dive deep into the transformative power of hope in relationships. Drawing from both their own experiences and years working with couples, they reveal how losing hope is a common stage for struggling partners—and how the right support at the right time can be the spark that ignites real transformation. The Kerwins candidly discuss those pivotal moments when despair feels overwhelming, yet just one person’s belief, whether a coach, therapist, or loved one, can breathe new life into a relationship. You’ll also hear personal stories and relatable examples, making it clear that everyone—even the “experts”—faces these tough times.

Tune in to discover what it takes to become a holder of hope for your relationship, why seeking outside guidance isn’t just helpful but sometimes necessary, and how the skills for emotional safety and deeper connection are learned, not innate. Whether you’re struggling with chronic friction, communication issues, or just feel stuck in a rut, this episode offers practical wisdom, encouragement, and a roadmap for rekindling joy with your partner. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation that could be the very first step on your journey to a happier, healthier relationship!

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

Or email us directly at [email protected] with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” 

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Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

EJ and Tarah Kerwin dive into the power of their Emotional Safety Assessment—a free tool now available on their website. They openly model the entire process, walking through all 13 questions and sharing their honest scores and reflections. Listeners will get a behind-the-scenes look at how the hosts use this assessment both personally and with the couples they coach, highlighting its ability to reveal strengths and pinpoint areas needing attention. With real-life examples, self-awareness, and moments of humor, EJ and Tarah demonstrate how understanding your individual and shared emotional safety is the foundation for deeper intimacy and connection.

This episode is a must-listen for couples seeking practical, actionable ways to improve relationship closeness and trust. Whether you’re wondering how emotionally safe your partnership feels or seeking new tools for growth, EJ and Tarah guide you through using the assessment and interpreting its results—without judgment or resorting to blame. Discover what emotional safety really means, why it matters, and how couples at any stage can move from surviving to thriving. Tune in for vulnerable storytelling, expert insights, and the inspiration you need to start your own path to a more connected, emotionally safe relationship.

**Take the Emotional Safety Quiz***

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On this episode of Relationship Renovation, Tarah and EJ Kerwin share the secret weapon they use to bring calm, clarity, and connection to even the most stressful parts of daily life: the “Predict, Plan, Prepare” (Triple P) tool, developed by renowned relationship expert Dr. Stan Tatkin. Listen in as they break down exactly how Triple P works, why couples struggle without a plan, and how this simple mindset shift can minimize conflict and help partners feel like a true team—even during life’s most hectic moments. With honest anecdotes about their own home routines (think school mornings and dividing chores), Tarah and EJ show you how implementing this tool can help dissolve tension, foster emotional safety, and prevent the cycle of disconnection from taking hold.

Purchase the Relationship Renovation at Home Online Course

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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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In this episode of Relationship Renovation, EJ and Tarah Kerwin share real-life experiences and expert insights on how couples can "change the season" in their lives rather than letting external events dictate the tone of their relationship. You'll discover a simple yet powerful three-step framework—awareness, boundaries, and intentional rituals—to help you and your partner name your current season, create practices that support your relationship, and shift out of reactivity into empowered connection. Whether you’re navigating a hectic school schedule, a major life transition, or just the everyday grind, this episode is packed with relatable stories and actionable advice to help you stay grounded, connected, and in charge of your relationship journey.

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Visit relationshiprenovation.com for more tips and resources to elevate your partnership and emotional well-being!

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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

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Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz 

In this heartfelt episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, hosts EJ and Tarah Kerwin sit down with Ben and Julie, a couple who met in high school, faced the challenges of teen parenthood, and nearly reached their breaking point after 27 years together. Through their honest and vulnerable conversation, Ben and Julie share what brought them to couples counseling, how learning tools like emotional check-ins and self-soothing changed everything, and why healing old wounds transformed not only their relationship, but their whole family. Whether you’re on the verge of giving up or just looking for hope, this episode will inspire you to believe that deeper happiness and connection truly are possible—no matter how long you’ve been together.

Purchase the Relationship Renovation at Home Online Course

Visit relationshiprenovation.com for more tips and resources to elevate your partnership and emotional well-being!

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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching

Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon

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Take the Emotional Safety Assessment Quiz

Are you struggling to support a loved one dealing with anxiety or OCD?

Wondering how to recognize the difference between comforting and enabling anxious behaviors?

Curious about what practical steps actually help when someone you care about is overwhelmed by fearful thoughts?

In this heartwarming episode, hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin welcome their daughter Mia to share her candid journey with OCD and anxiety. Together, they explore Mia's experience from early challenges and therapy breakthroughs to the communication strategies that made a difference within their family. Whether you’re a parent, partner, or someone seeking stronger emotional connections, you'll discover actionable advice for building resilience, offering support without reinforcing fears, and fostering trust in your most important relationships. Tune in for insights that will empower you to navigate anxiety and strengthen your bond with the people you love.

Purchase the Relationship Renovation at Home Online Course

Visit relationshiprenovation.com for more tips and resources to elevate your partnership and emotional well-being!

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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations

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