372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

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This book was a surprise, packed with hidden delights. So too this episode including

-A brand new department: Appreciate Mark Twain

-Several dives to the Dark Web

-More than one improv regarding Sir John’s locked rooms

-Dumb Sentences

-A stunning Real or Fanfic

READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter 14!

Our patreon supporters have known about this book for a week already and are already sending in their dumb sentences! Join the fun at patreon.com/372pages

Join us for our 18th book: Irene Iddlesleigh by Amanda Mckittrick Ros. That is, if the Red Cross doesn’t abduct Conor before then.

For our first episode we’ll be reading through Chapter 9. The book can be downloaded for free here or bought on amazon here.

**Please note that the giveaway mentioned in this ep has obviously already ended**

Be the first to find out what our next book is! Support the podcast on Patreon and get early access to every ep and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages

Reading a 563 Tyra Banks book just wasn’t enough. Listeners insisted we read and report back on her six pages of acknowledgments!

Many exotic locations are thanked, as are bodies of water, buildings, food items, museum stores, the occasional co-writer or agent; and one of the actors who played Batman (who isn’t Jason O’Mara, Kevin McKidd, Julian Fletcher, Adam West, Ben Affleck, Will Arnett, Peter Weller, Ben McKenzie, Bruce Greenwood, Ron Perlman, Christian Bale, Val Kilmer, Kevin Conroy or Michael Keaton.)

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on our Patreon! http://patreon.com/372pages

O’Neil of course does not rise.

But this is Modelland’s final episode. Per our stunt Mike did not read it so it’s all in the capable hands of Conor, who, for the first time gets to read a passage to the poor bedraggled “little girl”! Loose ends are sort of acknowledged, the body horror ramps up and despite no Real or Fanfic there are Dumb Sentences and some really good Stolen Mail.

Patreon people, stay tuned for bonus eps possibly involving Tyra’s acknowledgments, Conor’s SmizeCream eating party with three year-olds and the reveal of our next book. http://patreon.com/372pages

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Join them over at patreon.com/372pages

Mike catches Conor up on the the plot, which involves a lot of filth, sores, blood, detached limbs, wounds and severed torsos. In other words, just another Tuesday at Modelland!

As this is a Very Special Episode, we’d love your opinion on whether or not we should match it for the final episode of Modelland (we will of course return to form for the next book!)

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode early plus other fun stuff: patreon.com/372pages

Our longest episode yet – making it, clearly, our best.

We’ll check in on a loving father reading his beloved daughter a bed time story. Conor breaks out the Pocket Operators to recreate one of the BellaDonna’s songs. And a shocking admission from Mike and a HUGE announcement coming up! By coin toss Mike OR Conor will do the next reading SOLO!

Next Assignment: Read through chapter 40!

Thank you to our Patreon supporters who keep the podcast going and have had access to this episode for a week already! Join them at patreon.com/372pages

The underutilization of O’Neil is downright criminal: as though A Confederacy of Dunces just mentioned Ignatius J. Reilly and then moved on.

Still, plenty of good stuff in the episode, including a detailed look at Bravo, some disturbing “hot for teacher” vibes from Chaste over the half-bald troll-man, and an amazingly over-long chapter in the Magnetosphere.

Reference alert: Timer the cheese mascot, Snorks, Paul Anka’s shirt rant, and many more. In other words none from the current decade let alone the last.

NEXT ASSIGNMENT: Read through Chapter 32

Support the podcast with a few bucks on Patreon. Get every episode early, Meet The Authors segments, interviews with Lauren and Bridget, contests, and more! patreon.com/372pages

A testament to how weird this book has become: A “sloppy, love-filled reunion hug” is the most normal thing that happens in this episode’s reading.

The Cronenbergian body-horror levels are off the charts but Conor and Mike comfort themselves with the euphonic Modelland Anthem, some Real or Fanfic and a nice dose of Dumb Sentences.

Plus, Conor lays down the law on mispronunciations!

ASSIGNMENT: For next time, read through chapter 25.

Please support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode early, access to our Discord, and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages

Conor and Mike wade into the fever dream like madness that is Tyra Banks’ Modelland but not before Mike gets his comeuppance on an issue of pronunciation. 

And since no Dark Web recreators could possibly capture the insanity we’re left with lots of Sonic Challenges, tons of Dumb Sentences, top notch letters from listeners, and a pretty good turn from Mike in Real or Fanfic! 

Next assignment: Read through Chap 20

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Mike and Conor quickly discover that Tyra Banks’ only novel is Cr8Zee! (Cr8Zee is pronounced “crazeee” because the “t” sound at the end of “8” is silent and the two “ee”s at the end are pronounced like three “eee”s.)

They soon discover parallels to authors Pappy Pariah, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, Dan Brown, Ernest Cline and others.

All the departments are here: Conor borderline cheats at Real or Fanfic, Dumb Sentences are unearthed, and our loyal listeners send in some truly astonishing facts when we Steal People’s Mail.

For next time, read thru Chapter 14!