Stroke’s d*ck broke a land-speed record this week. He’s two testosterone shots in and suddenly his girl needs an ice pack and a sabbatical. Meanwhile, Ian’s live bar performance of “No Wrong Hole” becomes a real "crowd pleaser" Jenn breaks the news about Starbucks bear riots, and Mikey tries to figure out why South Lake Tahoe is crying over a city seal.

Then it gets dumber:
– A stepmom finds the Pornhub tab open… and she’s the category.
– A listener sends in a song about buying dicks with a credit card.
– A guy runs a secret Instagram account just to simp in private and thinks that’s normal.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.

🗣️ A guy ends a voicemail with one word: “moist.” Then hangs up. Power move.

🧻 Listener confesses he remembers only two phone numbers: his childhood home… and 916-312-DAMN.

📆 Dammit Nick complains that our merch is $19.99 and $20. We respond with spite pricing. $21.87, bitch.

🧂 Troy returns to the comments section to roast Jenn and Mikey… then confesses he’d still bang Vanna White.

🥦 The gang revisits foods they hated as kids but love now. Except mushrooms. Mushrooms are still bullshit.

🔄 Can we stop pretending DoorDash is worth it? Mikey goes off on $40 cold Pizza.

🐺 Aliens are watching Earth like it’s a reality show. And season 2025 sucks.

Plus Random thoughts and The Bass Akwards Song game.

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