The holiday season can be a beautiful time of celebration, but if we're being honest, it can also be extremely stressful — especially when it comes to spending time with family members you disagree with.

I get asked all the time questions like "What should I do about family members who say things that uphold white supremacy?" or "What should I do when family members say racist things?"

My dear friend Jalynne Geddes gave me some advice about how to approach these situations that entirely changed my perspective, and I want to share that advice with you, too: If you can't change their heart, your presence might change their behavior.

In this episode, I unpack that advice as well as discuss:

• What you can do in these situations if you are BIPOC.
• What you should do if you hold white privilege or have close proximity to white privilege.
• Suggestions for keeping yourself safe and maintaining boundaries.

I hope this holiday season can be a joyful time for you and your family, as well as one where you can feel safe. Thanks for being part of the First Name Basis fam. We're sending you our love.

Want to help your kids center Indigenous Peoples this Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is coming up, and it's our chance to teach our kids the true history of Thanksgiving. Visit firstnamebasis.org/thanksgivingresources and drop your email to get some ideas of how to center Indigenous Peoples sent straight to your inbox.

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 14: "What Is Privilege And What Do I Do With It?"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 4, Episode 8: "Can We Talk About White Privilege?"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 9: "Racism 101"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 22: "Cancel Culture Pt. 1: Calling Out, Calling In, & Tone Policing"