Sometimes saying “yes” too much can really take a toll on you. In this episode, Jill chats with Dr. Sunita Sah, a bestselling author and Cornell professor, about her book Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. 

They break down how constant compliance can affect your emotions, mind, and body, and share strategies for recognizing when it’s time to push back. 

Sunita introduces the concept of a ‘Defiance Compass’ to help guide people in acting according to their values. You’ll also learn about the difference between going along with something and truly giving consent, how anxiety can arise in difficult situations, and why practicing small acts of defiance can prepare you for bigger, high-stakes moments.

Listen and Learn: 

• How can redefining "defiance" from a negative act of resistance to an alignment with true values help us better understand the balance between compliance, consent, and social pressure?
• Why is defiance better understood as a staged process on a continuum rather than a simple yes/no choice, and how does recognizing tension help us navigate compliance?
• Distinguishing between true expert intuition and bias-driven gut feelings when making decisions in uncertain situations
• Why is it so difficult for people to resist compliance and obedience in high-pressure situations, and how can practicing defiance help us prepare to say no and prevent harm?
• How can we recognize the difference between true consent and mere compliance, and what essential elements are needed to ensure a genuine "yes"?
• Navigating situations where we technically have the freedom to say no, but psychological pressures like insinuation anxiety or fear of consequences make it difficult to speak up
• How do insinuation anxiety and the sales pitch effect interact to increase pressure to comply, even when consent is technically present?
• Overcoming the tension and fear of non-compliance to act in alignment with our values using tools like the Defiance Compass
• How you can practice defiance as a skill

Resources:

• Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593445778
• Sunita’s Website: https://www.sunitasah.com/
• Connect with Sunita on Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/drsunitasah

https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsunitasah/

https://www.tiktok.com/@drsunitasah 

About Sunita Sah

Dr. Sunita Sah is a national bestselling author, an award-winning professor at Cornell University, and an expert in organizational psychology. She leads groundbreaking research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. A trained physician, Dr. Sah practiced medicine in the United Kingdom and worked as a management consultant for the pharmaceutical industry. She currently teaches executives, leaders, and students in healthcare and business.

Dr. Sah is also a sought-after international speaker and consultant, an advisor to government agencies, and a former Commissioner of the National Commission on Forensic Science. Her multidisciplinary research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media outlets, including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She lives with her husband and son in New York.

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