Blended Family Breakthrough

49. Should your highest priority be your marriage — or your kids?


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The question we're often asked is this:  Should my highest priority be my marriage or my kids? 

If you're a bio-parent, you might be concerned about making sure that your kids are feeling secure and cared for — they've always been your priority and maybe you're wondering why that should change.

And if you're a step-parent, you probably entered into marriage thinking that you'd be at the top of your spouse's priority list and that you'd have a say in all the family's decisions.

This is exactly where we started out in our marriage and it didn't take long for both of us to experience frustration, confusion and even anger! 

Whenever I had to choose between what Mike wanted and what my daughter Annika wanted — it felt like I could never win.  Either Mike was going to feel like an outsider, or Annika was going to feel rejected.

But I discovered that choosing between them wasn't actually a choice I had to make…we found a different approach! 

This is a big topic that's always complicated and sometimes controversial.  In this episode we'll uncover the realities around why 'priority issues' are so tough for blended families.  

We'll also share how you can work as a united team to position your marriage as the foundation of your home while making sure the kids are getting everything they need to thrive.

You'll Discover:

  • How 'Relational Imbalance' impacts blended family priorities
  • Two opposite approaches to prioritizing that lead to disconnection and pain
  • Two big realities that blended family couples need to be aware of
  • How to work as a team to rebalance relationships, elevate your marriage and maintain stability for the kids

Resources from this Episode:

  • Episode 24 — What if You Could Relieve the Trapped Teammate Pressure?
  • Blog Article:  How to Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
  • Blog Article:  Parent-Child Allegiances
  • Want to check out Ron Deal's article?  Click here:  Placing Your Spouse in the Front Seat of Your Heart

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question:

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the podcast?  Let us know!

We've made it easy…just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

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Now if you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. 

Want to Support the Show?

You can join our mission of safe-guarding marriages and supporting step-couples by connecting with our Patreon community.  By everyone doing just a little, we can create big opportunities.

Consider joining our community for as little as $4 per month and as a "thank you" — you

Are you ready to join the Blending Together Community?  Click this link:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/blendingtogether

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Blended Family BreakthroughBy Mike & Kim Anderson

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