Let's Talk Polyamory Podcast

53: Where Are We Now? De-escalation One Year Later


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Almost a year ago and just shy of 7 years of being together, we made a decision to de-escalate our non-monogamous relationship. It was met with a lot of questions and concerns from close friends and family - are you breaking up? Do you no longer love each other etc. We even released a special podcast on this topic - (S1. Ep 16) Is It Time To Deescalate My Relationship - and yet there were still some skeptics!

And now, over 365 days later, reflecting on this experience, we know it was the absolute right decision for us (even though there were some tough spots to navigate) and has in fact strengthened our connection!

In this deeply personal episode we catch you up on what prompted the decision, how we felt at the time, how it went and how things are now! 

We also review what de-escalation means and how it differs from breaking up, and the types of situations that might prompt this kind of change in a relationship.

And for those who don’t intend on de-escalating, or stop living together, we share examples of how you can breathe more life into your relationships by spending intentional time together and creating space and time to restore your own independence. 

Exciting news: As we announced in this episode we are considering running a Spring cohort of our Polyamory Mastery group coaching program—but we need at least 5 couples (or individuals) to commit to make it happen.

This is our deeper dive group coaching experience for people who are looking for real transformation, and support that actually makes a difference in creating secure, satisfying and sexy non monogamous relationships!

This program includes:

  • 8+ in-depth modules of training with brand new content, all of which will be recorded and added to the course site
  • Downloadable tools and exercises so you can actively apply the training to your unique relationship(s)
  • And of course live coaching with us!


You can find out more about the program here - https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery and to apply, drop us an email at [email protected].

To get a bit of background on where we were when we decided to do this we suggest you catch up on the podcast we recorded and listen to our Poly Diaries journal entries from last year! See links in the show resources below.

Show Resources:

  • Book a 15 minute call with Tara at https://go.taraandandre.com/15mincoffeechat to talk about Polyamory Mastery or email her at [email protected]
  • Season 1 Episode 16: Is It Time to De-escalate My Relationship?  https://open.spotify.com/episode/0MGkEmWemnQRg1fDNjFQtk?si=A6reBvLbRs-cCQft5GbLow
  • Tara’s Poly Diaries entry ⁠https://youtu.be/NQvmI5WXIsE?si=DLSRQLA1K-Q7WvX⁠ 
  • Andre’s Poly Diaries entry⁠https://youtu.be/AS8NkrKYj3A?si=OAlAPqCCEfEOo_A0⁠ 
  • Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠
  • Email André to arrange a complimentary therapy consultation at: [email protected] 
  • Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠⁠
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Let's Talk Polyamory PodcastBy T and A Coaching and Therapy

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