How do we practice poly responsibly during a pandemic? Is it OK to move my metamour in with me rather than not see her for the duration of enforced social isolation?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• Found a new poly podcast, Pod Pod Cvlt Cast, with 34 long episodes!
• We’ve got a new puppy to keep us company during #stayathome!

3:00 Poly in the news

• Elisabeth Sheff’s four-part series on monogamy in Psychology Today: CNM is not a good choice as a method to fix a relationship that is broken, Four tips for heteroflexible couples who are considering opening their relationships, Three reasons why consensual non-monogamy will not work for people who are monogamous, and her latest, Monogamy by Orientation.
• Alan’s Friday Poly in the news roundup, covering primarily the coronavirus pandemic.
  • How coronavirus is impacting polyamorous relationships
  • How a polyamory expert is dating during the coronavirus pandemic
  • What it’s like to isolate with your girlfriend and her other boyfriend
  • Is it irresponsible to date around during a pandemic
• Minx’s advice
  • Use Zoom or Amazon Chime to host a virtual dance party or cocktail hour to stay connected
  • Use your webcam to see facial expressions
  • Try watching movies “together” over Zoom. Or send dinner to them and Zoom each other to chat during!

10:45 Contact us

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email [email protected].

11:25 Topic: should we move my metamour in with us while we socially isolate?

If you’re considering cohabitation that you wouldn’t have considered due to coronavirus social isolation requirements, some advice:

• As always, make sure your existing relationships are relatively healthy first.
• Ask everyone involved what they need to be happy and healthy in a communal space. Consider personal space, alone time, sexual, and physical needs.
• Discuss how finances will work in terms of rent, groceries, and other bills.
• Discuss expectations for chores and other responsibilities.
• Ask your kids how they feel about your metamour moving in.
• Have the pets been introduced? Is there a danger that they might attack each other?
• Set up regular check-ins after the move-in. These provide opportunities to bring up what it working well, what isn’t, to express gratitude and appreciations, and to bring up issues before they become bigger.
• Take a break from news coverage if it increases anxiety or feelings of depression.

17:00 Join the conversation

To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

17: 05 Feedback

• S from the Boston area calls in to share a personal neologism, “schmeeling.”
• Phenom calls in to ask how to get her partner to date more and make sure everything is OK. She keeps encouraging him to date, but he’s not getting out as much as her.
  • There is no issue here except that maybe you feel guilty. Deal with your own guilt and stop pressuring him to date!

24:45 Pervy bird throuple

Oops! Accidentally skipped this one: Perverted Illinois bald eagle threesome threatens sanctity of marriage. What’s next, hawk orgies?

26:00 Happy poly moment

Finding unexpected commonalities with your metamour!

28:45 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.