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Have you ever found yourself wondering how you spent an entire day feeling completely exhausted yet somehow accomplished "nothing"? The mental load you're carrying might be the answer, and you're not alone in feeling its weight.

In this candid exploration of mental load, I dive into Dr. Morgan Cutlip's illuminating book "A Better Share" and unpack the hidden burden that many of us—especially mothers—carry silently every day. This isn't just about completing tasks; it's about the constant cognitive, physical, and emotional labor that goes into managing a household and caring for everyone within it.

What exactly makes mental load so exhausting? It's the "triple threat" combination of cognitive tasks (the endless to-do lists), physical responsibilities (housework and errands), and emotional labor (managing everyone's feelings and needs) that creates an overwhelming burden. Research shows women typically shoulder all three simultaneously, while men primarily carry cognitive load concentrated in their work environment.

The most revealing insight might be understanding what each partner truly needs. Women generally desire to be Pursued, Appreciated, and have a Reliable partner (PAR), while men typically seek Peace, Affection, and Respect (PAR). When mental load isn't shared effectively, both partners end up with unmet needs, creating cycles of resentment and disconnection.

This conversation isn't about assigning blame—it's about recognizing a scientifically documented imbalance affecting countless relationships. By understanding mental load and learning to communicate about it honestly, we can create partnerships where both people feel seen, valued, and properly supported. Join me next week for practical strategies on managing mental load as a team and involving children appropriately in household responsibilities.

A Better Share by Dr. Morgan Cutlip:

https://amzn.to/4itJm6Y

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