Today I am speaking with psychotherapist, Toby Ingham, about his new book, A Guilty Victim. A Guilty Victim tells the true story of an English boy’s recovery from grooming and sexual abuse at a Catholic boarding school in Ireland in the 1970s. It is a contemporary account of psychotherapy with an adult survivor, written with the client’s full consent. A big thank you to Chris Bratich of Seen and Heard for connecting us.

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Toby Ingham is a BPC & UKCP registered psychotherapist & supervisor, member of The British Psychotherapy Foundation, The Association of Independent Psychotherapists, and BAPPS. Former Clinical Director of South Bucks Counselling (2019-2023). He has 25 years of experience working with people, dealing with depression, low mood, anxiety states, trauma, bereavement, addictions, and emotional instability.  Before setting up his psychotherapy practice in Oxford, he trained in NHS at St Barts’ Hospital, and at the Homerton Hospital in London.  He is a former staff psychotherapist at Nightingale Hospital and trained at Promis Addiction Centre and Age Concern.

Questions for Toby:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What lead you into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about your book, A Guilty Victim? What drew you to write it?
3. What do you feel is different about this book from other boarding school and therapeutic books?
4. What happened to your client at school? 
5. How did your client learn to cope? Do you feel that this process of coping is good for the psyche. If yes, why? If not, why not?
6. Why is it that we, as ex-boarders struggle to fit in outside of school? Both as children and as adults? (P.88)
7. And you mention that your client would try and take responsibility for the mood in the house? (P.88). Why do we do that as children?
8. Where there any specific symptoms of his trauma that showed up in adult life?
9. What do you feel makes the psychotherapeutic relationship so important in healing boarding school and childhood trauma wounds?
10. What changes did you see in your client as he moved through the therapeutic process with you?
11. What did you learn over the years that you worked with your client?
12. What do you feel about boarding schools?
13. How do people learn more about your work?

#childhoodtrauma#boardingschoolsyndrome#grooming#traumarecovery

To find out more about Toby's work please visit: www.tobyingham.com

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/