Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

A Survival Guide for Navigating Small Talk


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If you’re getting out there and meeting new people, there’s no getting around the fact that you’re going to have to do some small talk.

I don’t think I’ve met a single person who’s told me they truly enjoy small talk. Many go to extreme lengths to avoid it. One reason people despise it? It’s Ground Zero. Our brains are wired for familiarity and certainty. Small talk is neither.

But as with most things, the more you do it, the better you get at it. I dread small talk, and I’m an extrovert – but over time, I’ve built that muscle and developed a few tricks I hope you find useful.

So that’s what today’s episode is all about. Small talk: what it is, why it’s necessary, and how to get through it fast, effectively and curiously so that you can get to those deeper and, frankly, more interesting conversations.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Small talk – what it is, who it’s with, what it’s about, and why it often feels uncomfortable
  • Looking at small talk in relation to working out (it’s a warm-up) or a long run (it takes a few miles before getting to the runner’s high/deeper conversations)
  • Ways to make small talk feel less awkward – for example, just being honest and acknowledging the awkwardness!
  • Questions to ask yourself before going into a gathering that will involve small talk such as, why am I here? What will make this gathering a success for me?
  • Finding common threads, ripping the band-aid off, and using low-priority topics as building blocks for high-priority ones
  • Setting yourself up for success in small talk (and setting other people up for success, too) – plus, how to get OUT of small talk

Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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