Forrest S. from Fort Lauderdale, FL speaking about step 1 at the Spiritual Awakening in Pompano Beach, FL - November 1st 2024

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Forrest’s journey is a raw, layered reflection of both the depths of addiction and the challenges of staying spiritually connected after years of sobriety. His first white chip came in 1992, leading to 19 years in Alcoholics Anonymous before a relapse in 2011. Unlike a stereotypical bottom, Forrest didn’t lose his job, home, or outward stability—he lost his inner peace. That spiritual bankruptcy, masked by career success and family life, was enough to lead him back to the drink. He jokes about picking a sponsor based on material things like a Porsche and a bleach-blonde girlfriend, only to find out the guy wasn’t even really an alcoholic. He talks candidly about his years in active addiction—crystal meth, days-long binges, blackouts, and a mindset where people became “resources” to help him keep the party going.

Even more striking is how he describes his relapse after 19 years: slow, subtle, justified by spiritual pride, academic knowledge of the Big Book, and the belief that he’d outgrown AA. He didn’t leave with a bang—he drifted, convincing himself that AA was just “spiritual kindergarten” and he was ready for “graduate-level” work through yoga and outside spirituality. But when he drank again, it took only one night for the old Forrest to return—force-feeding others alcohol, creating chaos, and ending up banned from a house. That moment of clarity, that “it’s time” voice in his head, returned stronger than ever. And unlike so many who don’t make it back, Forrest was lucky enough to land safely back in the rooms.

Now, with his second sobriety date of February 22, 2014, Forrest speaks from a place of deep earned wisdom. He continues to check in with the first step daily and emphasizes the danger of thinking he has any real power over his own sobriety. With a thimble-sized cup, as his sponsor puts it, Forrest keeps filling it with spiritual action—unity, service, recovery—and pouring it into others. His life today is one of grace and clarity, and his share is a powerful reminder that the path back to sanity starts with a gut-level surrender: “I can’t. God can.”

Music: Deep by KaizanBlu