Abject Suffering

Franko: The Crazy Revenge is a very bad shooter that, because of regrettable economic and political conditions, became the Polish gaming industry’s crown jewel for a little bit. And though the game is bad, it does have a very funny and sleazy energy about it. We end the episode by taking a moment to talk about the horrors of Granny’s Daycare.

I don’t believe we’ve covered a game from Lithuania on the network… until now. Extreme Sprint 3010 is a literal Running Man game, if running man was about dumpy little guys ambling lazily toward the camera. We also talk about War-Torn Portland, and Gary’s fascination with the show and phrase “Farmer Wants a Wife”.

Blue Stinger has the call to take you to Dinosaur Island and not have you fight any actual dinosaurs, and this is the least of its sins. From the same developer as Illbleed, it’s one of the many Resident Evil clones that history forgot, slightly bolstered by the fact that it was exclusive to the Dreamcast, which is a wounded baby bird that must be protected at all costs.

We also talk about hiring private investigators to arrange love matches for GameFAQs contributors, and examine the anatomy of a Goro.

Bigfoot is, unfortunately, not about big hairy cryptids. Instead, it’s about monster trucks, which we are very bored of… until we make one of the most profound 180s in podcasting history.

Yo Noid! 2 is a comedy game that expands on the adventures of the Noid as he hops and bops to fight for his continuing relevance. It’s a fine platformer, but boy is the story and humor dated at this point! We also talk about Hatsune Miku, whether or not Tablet is bread, and expression vs. performance.

Finally a very old piece of media that Gary and Kaye can agree on: Gumby. He’s a psychedelic little shapeshifter who hasn’t been relevant since the sixties, and he has but one single video game about him.

Quarantine ends up being a very bad Doom clone, but instead of DoomGuy, you’re DoomCar, and you can only see five feet in front of you. And its snarl of lore is just too boring to pick apart. So instead we ask… what was the deal with the Three Tenors, and do you think you could take them in a fight?

This reskin of a Goemon game is kind of fun and interesting, despite its problems. But the discovery of Cowboy Kid's amazing American cover art leads us into a deep well of appreciating the Gay Cowboy trope as a celebration of having fun with the guys. The "Life at the Outpost" video is required viewing.

Todd hates slime. He hates it when things get goopy. So he went to a planet full of it to exact his revenge. We, however, are indifferent to slime, and also think this game isn't too terribly bad. So we talk about the dead-end economics of the slime-content, and carousels for some reason.

Garbage Pail Kids: Mad Mike and the Quest for Stale Gum advertises itself as a lost NES adaptation of the Garbage Pail kids line of collectible trading cards. In reality, it’s a modern game made by talented devs who make games for NES hardware. And it’s pretty fine! But there are so many Garbage Pail kids to talk about, so we spend most of our time camping out on them.

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