Adoption Unfiltered™

What will happen when the Supreme Court officially rules on Roe v Wade? Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth mom) and Lori Holden (adoptive mom) talk about the overlap between abortion and adoption. Not an easy conversation! Adoption and abortion are so often pitted against each other as opposite sides of coin when it comes to pregnancy decisions. But as Sara points out, there are similarities:

Other places we go:

Adoption Unfiltered is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/g0LjNTQrqNs

Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. joins Sara (adoptee), Kelsey(birth mom), and Lori (adoptive mom) to talk about attachment and healing that can come—or not—after trauma. He provides validation for adoptees that separation is, in fact, a wound that needs tending. He provides wisdom for birth parents on how to incorporate the melancholy thread that becomes part of a life’s tapestry once you place a child for adoption. He provides guidance for adoptive parents on how to help a child who is having big, hard emotions. In short, Dr. Neufeld advises that we “feel the shape of the hole of the loss” as a healthy way of proceeding from the brokenness that adoption arises from.

Adoption Unfiltered is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/WeHLnrhPkaQ

As the companion discussion to Problematic Behaviors of Adoptive Parents, Adoptee Tony Hynes of C.A.S.E. (the Center for Adoption Support and Education) joins Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth Mom Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Adoptive Mom Lori Holden to cover some of the problematic behaviors of birth parents.

Tony has quite a story. He is a transracial adoptee raised in an open adoption by his two adoptive moms and his birth grandmother. A rope in a tug of war? A wishbone between two sides who love him? What all this felt like to Tony, along with a conversation about the common behaviors adoptees experience from parents that cause difficulties.

Adoption Unfiltered is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/ENzs7fdEClM

What happens when tragedy strikes and children need help? Where is that very fine line between helping via adoption and hurting via trafficking? How can we best avoid crossing it?

Kathryn Joyce, who researched and wrote Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption, joins Sara (adoptee), Kelsey (birth mom) and Lori (adoptive mom) offer their perspectives on this complex topic of crisis, orphans, and movements designed to help them.

Adoption Unfiltered is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/Qqg3vZHl0zo

Sara (adoptee), Kelsey (birth mom) and Lori (adoptive mom) offer their perspectives on various words people in the triad are called, like “ungrateful adoptee,” “first mom,” and “adoptoraptor.” Plus, other phrases like “put up” vs “placed for” adoption, “Real Mom,” “Gotcha Day,” “Tummy Mummy,” “adoption triad” vs “adoption constellation,” and more.

Adoption Unfiltered is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/eVLcKfH7_wA

There aren’t too many spaces in which men are marginalized, but Adoption Land is one of them.

Birth Father Ridghaus joins Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth Mom Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Adoptive Mom Lori Holden to reveal the viewpoint of a lesser-heard voice—that of a birth father.

Talk about complexity … power dynamics on steroids!

⁠Adoption Unfiltered⁠ is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/Mxq0Znkbeks

A viewer asked: how can adoptive parents and birth parents best navigate adoption relationships and center the adoptee? Great question! Sara reveals the main thing an adoptee needs from adoptive parents, no matter if in an open/closed or international/foster adoption. Kelsey shares insights about what may be behind certain birth parent behaviors—as well as inaction. And when things may be personal—or not personal. Lori brings up the Host/Guest aspect of such relationships and some guidance around the dynamics. She asks how adoptive parents can use their power for good and not for destruction.

⁠Adoption Unfiltered⁠ is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/wlVsmK1Xelw

Money in adoption affects all of us. But it affects each of us differently. Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth Mom Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Adoptive Mom Lori Holden talk about why domestic infant adoption is so expensive, what goes into the fees, and what happens when people in desperate situations: (A) women in unplanned pregnancies and (B) people with Baby Fever—use the Internet to search for a solution to their problems. Not to mention (C) how it feels to have a price tag attached to your existence.

⁠Adoption Unfiltered⁠ is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/uHSDpOhdtds

Adoptee Astrid Castro of Adoption Mosaic, joins Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth Mom Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Adoptive Mom Lori Holden to discuss some of the problematic behaviors of adoptive parents. Listen in to understand the unintended effects adoptive parents sometimes have on others in their adoption triad, perhaps without even knowing. (Don’t worry. We plan to cover other problematic behaviors in future discussions.)

⁠Adoption Unfiltered⁠ is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit https://youtu.be/ntp95vTCGgI

An adoptee (Sara Easterly) a birth mom (Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard), and an adoptive mom (Lori Holden) talk together about the important topic of adoption and mental health as it affects each side of what has traditionally been considered the “adoption triad.” They talk about the need for a deeper understanding of adoption in therapeutic settings (adoption-competent therapy), the importance of an openness to grief, the power of healing in community, how signs of trauma/loss get missed, and more. CW/TW: Mention of suicide.

⁠Adoption Unfiltered⁠ is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and we are recognized throughout the adoption community as thought leaders, influencers, and bridge-builders.

To watch this episode on Youtube, visit: https://youtu.be/xy9Sk_ohc8E