Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach

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Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach episodes

April 25, 2017 Ep 98: Quick Fixes for Commas Splices
You may be tired of comma talk, but I want to toss one more punctuation post out to you before I move on to other topics.

This one’s about the comma splice.

To fix a comma splice, you first have to know what it is. A comma splice occurs when you connect or “splice” together two independent clauses with a comma. As a reminder, an independent clause can stand on its own as a sentence, with a subject and verb.

For example:

The writing conference invited my favorite author.

That’s an independent clause.

She spoke for an hour about her muse.

That’s an independent clause, too.

A comma splice would occur when you connect those two independent clauses with a comma so it would look like this:

The writing conference invited my favorite author, she spoke for an hour about her muse.

This must be fixed, or your editor might pluck her hair out in small handfuls each time she encounters one. Save her this painful experience by fixing the comma splice yourself.
Five Easy Ways to Fix a Comma Splice:
1. Period
Use a period and let each stand alone. These independent clauses are strong enough. They can do the work of a sentence:

The writing conference invited my favorite author. She spoke for an hour about her muse.

Boom. You’re done.
2. Semicolon
Your next option for fixing a comma splice is to use a semicolon, but some people feel antagonistic toward semicolons. Kurt Vonnegut declared we should not use them. "All they do is show you’ve been to college,” he said.

I suppose if you use semicolons liberally you might seem pretentious to someone, but I find them to be useful—especially to fix a comma splice. You can use a semicolon in place of a comma if the two ideas are closely related, and I think they are in our example.

With the semicolon, the example would read:

The writing conference invited my favorite author; she spoke for an hour about her muse.
3. Em Dash
Another option is to use the em dash. I'm rather fond of the em dash and find it often works as a substitute for the semicolon when fixing a comma splice—again, when the two ideas are closely related:

The writing conference invited my favorite author—she spoke for an hour about her muse.
4. Coordinating Conjunction
Another quick fix is to keep the comma and add a coordinating conjunction. Did you learn the memory trick to help recall the coordinating conjunctions? It’s FANBOYS.

F-A-N-B-O-Y-S

Each of those letters is the first letter of one of the coordinating conjunctions:

for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so

Sometimes this will give you the best effect:

The writing conference invited my favorite author, and she spoke for an hour about her muse.
5. Revise
A more involved fix is to revise the sentence if for some reason you don’t like the other options:

For example:

I attended a conference where my favorite author spoke for an hour about her muse.

We have no comma at all in that rewrite.

Or:

At the writing conference, my favorite author spoke for an hour about her muse.
Avoid a Negative Response: Eliminate Comma Splices
Some writers like to bend this rule. They think the unobtrusive comma fits their style and flow. It feels conversational or seems poetic—or they see another blogger or writer doing it, so they think they can follow suit.

If you leave in comma splices, industry professionals may wonder how many other ways your manuscript will stray from The Chicago Manual of Style guidelines—it might be a red flag to a conservative editor. Why risk a negative response to your work when you have so many ot...
5 min
April 25, 2017 Ep 98: Quick Fixes for Comma Splices
You may be tired of comma talk, but I want to toss one more punctuation post out to you before I move on to other topics.
This one’s about the comma splice.
To fix a comma splice, you first have to know what it is. A comma splice occurs when you connect or “splice” together two independent clauses with a comma. As a reminder, an independent clause can stand on its own as a sentence, with a subject and verb.
For example:
The writing conference invited my favorite author.
That’s an independent clause.
She spoke for an hour about her muse.
That’s an independent clause, too.
A comma splice would occur when you connect those two independent clauses with a comma so it would look like this:
The writing conference invited my favorite author, she spoke for an hour about her muse.
This must be fixed, or your editor might pluck her hair out in small handfuls each time she encounters one. Save her this painful experience by fixing the comma splice yourself.
Five Easy Ways to Fix a Comma Splice:
1. Period
Use a period and let each stand alone. These independent clauses are strong enough. They can do the work of a sentence:
The writing conference invited my favorite author. She spoke for an hour about her muse.
Boom. You’re done.
2. Semicolon
Your next option for fixing a comma splice is to use a semicolon, but some people feel antagonistic toward semicolons. Kurt Vonnegut declared we should not use them. "All they do is show you’ve been to college,” he said.
I suppose if you use semicolons liberally you might seem pretentious to someone, but I find them to be useful—especially to fix a comma splice. You can use a semicolon in place of a comma if the two ideas are closely related, and I think they are in our example.
With the semicolon, the example would read:
The writing conference invited my favorite author; she spoke for an hour about her muse.
3. Em Dash
Another option is to use the em dash. I'm rather fond of the em dash and find it often works as a substitute for the semicolon when fixing a comma splice—again, when the two ideas are closely related:
The writing conference invited my favorite author—she spoke for an hour about her muse.
4. Coordinating Conjunction
Another quick fix is to keep the comma and add a coordinating conjunction. Did you learn the memory trick to help recall the coordinating conjunctions? It’s FANBOYS.
F-A-N-B-O-Y-S
Each of those letters is the first letter of one of the coordinating conjunctions:
for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so
Sometimes this will give you the best effect:
The writing conference invited my favorite author, and she spoke for an hour about her muse.
5. Revise
A more involved fix is to revise the sentence if for some reason you don’t like the other options:
For example:
I attended a conference where my favorite author spoke for an hour about her muse.
We have no comma at all in that rewrite.
Or:
At the writing conference, my favorite author spoke for an hour about her muse.
Avoid a Negative Response: Eliminate Comma Splices
Some writers like to bend this rule. They think the unobtrusive comma fits their style and flow. It feels conversational or seems poetic—or they see another blogger or writer doing it, so they think they can follow suit.
If you leave in comma splices, industry professionals may wonder how many other ways your manuscript will stray from The Chicago Manual of Style guidelines—it might be a red flag to a conservative editor. Why risk a negative response to your work when you have so many ot...
5 min
April 18, 2017 Ep 97: How a Simple Comma Can Save a Life
Now that we’re down to later-order concerns, examining our work at the detail level, I thought we might talk some more about punctuation.
We’ve already covered the serial comma, also known as the Oxford comma. Let's cover yet another comma: the direct address comma.
The direct address comma will be review for many readers, but it’s a fun one to offer as a refresher.
Friends, we cannot neglect this comma or leave it out of our stable of punctuation. With it, we save lives. Without it, the unthinkable can happen.
What do you mean, Ann?
This comma offers clarity in its own way. And you can lock in its purpose is with the now infamous phrase:
“Let’s eat, Grandpa.”
The comma after the word “eat” is the direct address comma.
With the comma, I’m directly addressing Grandpa, issuing an invitation for Grandpa to join us for dinner.
Without the comma, Grandpa is dinner.
Some people have been advised to read their work aloud and wherever they pause is a good place to add a comma. This helps a little, but sometimes we don’t pause when we say things. I don’t think I’d naturally pause when calling out to Grandpa to let him know the table is set. I think I’d just say it quickly and my ear would tell me no comma is necessary: “Let’s eat Grandpa!”
In print, though, it is needed. Obviously, we will get context clues. The sentences preceding and following that sentence will help us understand that this is not a story about cannibalism.
But to avoid giggles and possible confusion—or horror—it’s best to include the direct address comma whenever and wherever it’s needed.
A quick review:
If the name of the person you’re addressing launches the sentence, the comma follows the name:
Nancy, bring your computer tonight so we can work on our book together.
When the name falls in the middle of the sentence, surround the name with commas:
If you insist on writing that memoir, Sam, at least change my name and hair color.
And if the name falls at the end of the sentence, you need one comma preceding it:
I would love to write a review on iTunes for you, Ann.
Just joking! Although if you have time, I really would love your positive review on iTunes so others can find this podcast.
How about this example, instead:
I hope your book launch is a huge success, Deidra.
So, friends, that’s a quick reminder of how the direct address comma can avoid the unthinkable. Use it—you might just save a life.
To listen to the full episode, click on the podcast player above or use subscription options below.
Resources:
Ep 94: Grammar Matters: Why Concern Ourselves with Commas?
Ep 96: When You Really Need Next-Level Edits (next-level edits, lower-order concerns)
How to Write a Review in iTunes
Higher-Order Concerns (HOCs) and Lower-Order Concerns (HOCs) (Purdue Online Writing Lab - OWL)
All podcast episodes
* * *
You can subscribe with iTunes, where I'd love to have you subscribe, rate, and leave a review.
The podcast is also available Stitcher, and you should be able to search for and find "Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach" in any podcast player.
4 min
April 18, 2017 Ep 97: How a Simple Comma Can Save a Life
Now that we’re down to later-order concerns, examining our work at the detail level, I thought we might talk some more about punctuation.

We’ve already covered the serial comma, also known as the Oxford comma. Let's cover yet another comma: the direct address comma.

The direct address comma will be review for many readers, but it’s a fun one to offer as a refresher.

Friends, we cannot neglect this comma or leave it out of our stable of punctuation. With it, we save lives. Without it, the unthinkable can happen.

What do you mean, Ann?

This comma offers clarity in its own way. And you can lock in its purpose is with the now infamous phrase:

“Let’s eat, Grandpa.”

The comma after the word “eat” is the direct address comma.

With the comma, I’m directly addressing Grandpa, issuing an invitation for Grandpa to join us for dinner.

Without the comma, Grandpa is dinner.

Some people have been advised to read their work aloud and wherever they pause is a good place to add a comma. This helps a little, but sometimes we don’t pause when we say things. I don’t think I’d naturally pause when calling out to Grandpa to let him know the table is set. I think I’d just say it quickly and my ear would tell me no comma is necessary: “Let’s eat Grandpa!”

In print, though, it is needed. Obviously, we will get context clues. The sentences preceding and following that sentence will help us understand that this is not a story about cannibalism.

But to avoid giggles and possible confusion—or horror—it’s best to include the direct address comma whenever and wherever it’s needed.
A quick review:
If the name of the person you’re addressing launches the sentence, the comma follows the name:

Nancy, bring your computer tonight so we can work on our book together.

When the name falls in the middle of the sentence, surround the name with commas:

If you insist on writing that memoir, Sam, at least change my name and hair color.

And if the name falls at the end of the sentence, you need one comma preceding it:

I would love to write a review on iTunes for you, Ann.

Just joking! Although if you have time, I really would love your positive review on iTunes so others can find this podcast.

How about this example, instead:

I hope your book launch is a huge success, Deidra.

So, friends, that’s a quick reminder of how the direct address comma can avoid the unthinkable. Use it—you might just save a life.

To listen to the full episode, click on the podcast player above or use subscription options below.
Resources:

Ep 94: Grammar Matters: Why Concern Ourselves with Commas?
Ep 96: When You Really Need Next-Level Edits (next-level edits, lower-order concerns)
How to Write a Review in iTunes
Higher-Order Concerns (HOCs) and Lower-Order Concerns (HOCs) (Purdue Online Writing Lab - OWL)
All podcast episodes

* * *
You can subscribe with iTunes, where I'd love to have you subscribe, rate, and leave a review.

The podcast is also available Stitcher, and you should be able to search for and find "Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach" in any podcast player.
4 min
April 11, 2017 Ep 96: When You Really Need Next-Level Edits
Let’s say your writing group or an editor has given you the high-level editorial input on your content that we talked about in episode 95. They’ve offered structural and developmental edits for your piece. And you’ve incorporated those recommendations—deleting, rewriting, and rearranging material as needed so that your overall idea or message is stronger than […]
7 min
April 11, 2017 Ep 96: When You Really Need Next-Level Edits
Let’s say your writing group or an editor has given you the high-level editorial input on your content that we talked about in episode 95. They’ve offered structural and developmental edits for your piece.

And you’ve incorporated those recommendations—deleting, rewriting, and rearranging material as needed so that your overall idea or message is stronger than ever. You’ve revised per their suggestions, and the organization of the piece reads more smoothly than before. It feels complete and clear.

What’s next?

It’s time to move to the next level.
Next-Level Edits: A Closer Look
It can be a bit discouraging to realize you aren’t done yet, but your project will always need another look—a closer look.

Now it’s time to refine your style through a careful reading. In this stage, you and anyone you invite to offer input can consider your work at the paragraph and sentence level, listening for pace, tone, and voice. You're watching for usage issues. This is the stage when we consider each word choice and eliminate cliches. We pore over every semicolon and comma, watching for grammar and punctuation errors. We fact check.

This is the time for copyediting, line editing, and, eventually, proofreading.

I’ll link to some articles that distinguish among between these types of edits: the copyediting, line editing, and proofreading. As you learn about these labels, you’ll better understand the kind of attention your project needs at these stages.
HOCs then LOCs
You’ll be reminded how the high-order concerns, which I introduced as HOCs in episode 95, are high-level edits addressed first, and then come the copy edits and line edits, which fall under LOCs, known as lower-order concerns, or “later order concerns.” And I like that label—"later order concerns”—because it suggests that we do need to tackle such details as comma placement at some point. They aren’t “low” on the totem pole. Punctuation is important. When LOCs are known as later order concerns, it reminds us that attending to those details simply comes later in the process.
5 Ideas for How to Dig into Next-Level Edits Yourself
While enlisting the help of someone experienced with editing during this stage will provide an objective eye, you yourself can return to your work and attempt some self-editing. Try these five simple techniques to gain as much perspective and objectivity as possible when revisiting your draft:

Set it aside
If you have the luxury of time and you’re not working against a tight deadline, set your project aside for a while: a day, a week, a month. Come back to it with fresh eyes.
Print it out
I hate using paper when I don’t have to, but I almost always find mistakes on a physical copy of my writing that my eye or my brain would fill in or correct when viewing it on the screen. Also, I can stuff a printed copy into a bag or backpack and take it with me to mark up while I’m out and about.
Read it aloud
I always read my work aloud and make notes directly on the copy as I seek a more natural expression of my ideas. If you can’t hear the glitches and hiccups as you read it yourself, consider recording it and listen back to take notes. Or have someone else read it to you and listen to where they struggle to work their mouth around the words—could be a clue to play with the phrasing or word choices in those spots.
Create a master editing checklist
Keep a list of your pet words and phrases and use the “search” feature in Word, Scrivener, or Google Docs to track them down methodically. Revise as needed to rip them out and use fresh phrasing.
Add to that master editing checklist
Expand your personal list to include other useless words that might slip into your work. Diane Urban’s list of words you should cut from your writing immediately is useful.
7 min
April 04, 2017 Ep 95: Focus on Your High-Level Edits First
Last time we talked about commas. In particular, I brought to you the serial comma, or the Oxford comma. I emphasized the fact that details—even commas—really do matter to writers. This was on my mind because of that court case ruling hinging upon how workers, an organization, and the state of Maine interpreted its statutes […]
8 min
April 04, 2017 Ep 95: Focus on Your High-Level Edits First
Last time we talked about commas. In particular, I brought to you the serial comma, or the Oxford comma. I emphasized the fact that details—even commas—really do matter to writers. This was on my mind because of that court case ruling hinging upon how workers, an organization, and the state of Maine interpreted its statutes as a result of a missing Oxford comma.

As I warned at the end of episode 94, however, this is a detail-level edit. Don’t let concern over comma placement stall the writing of your draft. You have to write with freedom and abandon when you’re in the writing stage.

Comma concerns come later, in the editing phase, when you pop on your fedora and dig into that draft. Even then, though—even when editing—comma concerns are not your first concerns.

They're important, no doubt—I mean, I dedicated an entire episode to a single type of comma—but the first time you revisit that draft to consider edits and changes, the commas are not the first thing you tackle.

Focus on your high-level edits first.

Before you worry about sentence-level changes or stylistic flair you can add—that’s that jazziness that Ayn Rand called it in The Art of Nonfiction. In episode 69, I quoted her saying: "The first absolute is: be clear. Drama, jazziness, color—which can be added later—are never as important as clarity.”

Clarity before commas, high-level concerns before proofreading, high-order concerns before low-order concerns.
High-Order Concerns or High-Level Edits
That last set of phrases traces back to academia. When I taught composition to high school students, I kept encountering that terminology: “high-order concerns,” or “HOCs” and "low-order concerns," or “LOCs.” I used this with my students, reminding them to focus on HOCs first, then spend time on the LOCs. In the publishing world, you might hear the high-order concerns, or HOCs, referred to as:

high-level edits
big-picture edits
developmental edits
structural edits
substantive edits
global edits
macro concerns

It doesn’t really matter what you call this stage or level of editorial input. Just make sure you and anyone else involved understands what you mean and joins you in attending to these types of evaluations and recommendations first.
Focus
When you’re focusing on your high-level edits, the HOCs, you’ll be examining the overall focus of the piece. You’ll look at the big idea and the theme. You’ll need to be sure of your intended audience—make sure you know who you’re writing for.

What are you wanting to share with these readers? Can you state in one sentence what your piece is about? If you can't, you may need to revisit the big idea or thesis of your project and figure out what you’re really trying to say. Have a friend read the opener of your nonfiction project and without letting him read further, have him try to tell you what it’s about. Did he get it? If not, figure out what needs to be brought out more and refine it. And then write the rest of your piece to match that opening explanation.

You may find in that evaluation process that you need to narrow your focus or tighten it up if you’re trying to tackle too much. Or, it's possible you’ve narrowed your idea so much that you actually need to expand it a bit or dive more deeply into it.

These are all high-order concerns—the macro concerns for the developmental stage of your project.
Organization or Structure
The organization and structure of the piece also need time and attention at this stage. We make choices as writers about how to present our information or story. In fiction, this could be the point of view or the tense we choose to tell the story—is it first person and present tense? Is that working well for the story? In nonfiction,
8 min
March 28, 2017 Ep 94: Grammar Matters: Why Concern Ourselves with Commas?
If you’re new to writing, you may be unaware of the fierce debate among writers, editors, teachers, and grammarians over the use of the serial, or Oxford, comma. If you’ve been around the world of words a while, you know the tension, the arguments, the passion associated with this tiny punctuation mark used—or not used—in […]
6 min
March 28, 2017 Ep 94: Grammar Matters: Why Concern Ourselves with Commas?
If you’re new to writing, you may be unaware of the fierce debate among writers, editors, teachers, and grammarians over the use of the serial, or Oxford, comma. If you’ve been around the world of words a while, you know the tension, the arguments, the passion associated with this tiny punctuation mark used—or not used—in the specific scenario of a series.
The Oxford Comma
The serial comma, also known as the Oxford comma, is the last comma you’d use in a list that includes three or more words or phrases and a coordinating conjunction. The comma would be placed just before the final “or” or “and.” For example, if I said, “I love articles, essays, poems, and podcasts,” a serial comma would be the comma you’d place just after “poems” and before the word “and.”

It's often referred to as the Oxford comma because, as Oxford Dictionaries explains, "it was traditionally used by printers, readers, and editors at Oxford University Press.”
The AP Stylebook vs. The Chicago Manual of Style
Style guides tend to fall into two camps on the use of the Oxford comma. The Chicago Manual of Style, for example, often used by book publishers, “strongly recommends” its use in every series—use it by default, they urge, because it prevents ambiguity.

The Associated Press Stylebook, usually referred to as the AP Stylebook, is used by many newspapers and magazines. This style guide prefers using the serial comma only when clarity is needed. Otherwise, leave it out by default. It’s a space-saving measure, for one thing, and leaves the page one stroke cleaner and less cluttered.

Both philosophies agree that the use of the comma achieves the goal of avoiding ambiguity. The difference is that The Chicago Manual of Style argues that using it by default will avoid an oversight. So if you or the place you write for says to use the serial comma all the time—even if the sentence would make sense without it—you or the place you write for falls in the “Oxford comma” camp.
How Can a Missing Comma Cause Confusion?
What kind of ambiguity or confusion could be caused by leaving out one little bitty comma?

Mental Floss offers up several examples of confusion caused by leaving out that key comma. One is a book dedication that may have been invented. It reads: “To my parents, Ayn Rand and God.” It’s missing the serial comma that The Chicago Manual of Style would urge adding directly after Ayn Rand. With the Oxford comma missing, the dedication implies that this person comes from an implausible but unforgettable lineage—that his or her parents are Ayn Rand and God.

You can poke around online and find numerous examples of how the Oxford comma helps avoid combinations that would lead to confusion or at least bizarre images. And, as I said, the AP Stylebook would agree to include it to avoid confusion. In that respect, we’re all on the same page.

But it’s worth our time to consider the implication of leaving it out when it really ought to have been included. A week or so ago, a United States Court of Appeals handed down a ruling that hinged upon a missing comma. Maine’s overtime statutes include a list that leaves out the serial comma so that you could read it two different ways: one interpretation would combine two actions to be one, and another interpretation would separate them to be two different activities. Including the comma would have cleared things up.

A dairy in Maine interpreted the meaning of the phrase one way, and its drivers interpreted it another way in a case involving overtime pay. And with that, we all saw that serial commas are serious business.

Smithsonian Magazine provides a brief explanation of the case and quotes Judge David J. Barron: “For want of a comma, we have this case.”
Small Stuff Matters
No matter where you fall on this usage philosophy,
6 min

About Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach

From the publisher's feed

With Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach, you'll gain clarity and overcome hurdles to become a better writer, pursue publishing, and reach your writing goals. Ann provides practical tips and motivation for…