To kick off another series of Special Guest Interviews on Another Way - the official Project You podcast, I am joined by one of the UK’s leading Love Coaches - the woman who transformed my own love life - Vicki Pavitt.

Vicki Pavitt is a Love, Dating & Relationship Coach who helps big-hearted women heal dating blocks and create secure and healthy love. She’s an NLP and EFT practitioner, an attachment styles expert, and a former Dating & Relationship expert for Match.com. Over 12 years, she’s supported 1,000+ women through her signature Wholehearted Dating programme, with features across major outlets like Grazia, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Elle, The Independent, and BBC Radio.

And for for 8 years she and I co-hosted the Project Love podcast (half a million + downloads).

And so I was SO excited to finally be reunited with my business wife and podcasting partner-in-crime, to dive deep into a topic that I find endlessly fascinating: the topic of how to transform your love life, with a wholehearted approach to love and dating.

In this conversation we get into:

* why so many of us find dating so hard to do

* how we can think we’re wide open and available to love, without realising we have our walls up to it (that was me when I first started to work with Vicki!)

* our attachment styles and how they play out in dating and relationships

* what to look out for in those early days of getting to know someone

* Vicki’s wholehearted approach to dating that has helped 1000s of women (including me) find love in the past 12 years

* How you can work with Vicki 🤗

👉 Hit play on the episode and let’s dive in!

Special for listeners: Dating Reset (limited-time bonus)

Vicki’s launching a mini-programme called Dating Reset — a focused, 1:1 reset to help you date with intention and feel actually good about it again.Check it out: https://www.vickipavitt.com/wholehearted-dating-reset-intensive

Bonus: On bookings made before Friday 26 Sept at 2pm (UK), you’ll get Vicki’s Online Dating Profile add-on free (worth £197) — personalised feedback on your current profile or help creating one from scratch.

Launch price: £497 (rising to £997 soon).

Not sure what you need?

Book a no-pressure Clarity Call with Vicki to explore which coaching path fits you best:https://www.vickipavitt.com/claritycall

How do you feel about the summer coming to an end?For me, saying goodbye to summer always feels hard.It is always tinged with sadness, as if all the fun is coming to an end.

In fact my end-of-summer blues got so bad a few years back that I finally decided I needed to do something about it.

And so, I created a guided journaling exercise called ‘Goodbye Summer, Hello Autumn’ to help me say a fond farewell to the summer as it came to an end and then plan what I wanted to make autumn all about, so that I could actually look forward to it.

And honestly that simple exercise has been an absolute game changer.

Now, not only do I not experience anywhere near the same degree of post-summer blues as I did before, but I actually enjoy the arrival of autumn.

And I never thought I’d be able to say that!

So if you have been suffering end-of-summer blues since the start of September, or simply want to step into autumn feeling clear about what you want to make this next season all about, then tune into today’s Pep-Talk and let me guide you through the exercise that has made a huge difference to me and a lot of my clients and members who have tried it too.

If you’ve been circling around a dream lately - or a change you want to make in your life - but you still haven’t yet taken, then this week’s Pep-Talk is for you. It’s a rallying cry to all of us with a big dream:

To stop thinking and start doing.

No more thinking about it, no more trying to figure out every step, no more waiting for the perfect moment to get started.

That time will never come.

Instead you simply have to decide: now is the time. No more waiting.

That is where I have got to with my big Project You dream.

I am ready to take the leap.

No more thinking about it, no more worrying about whether it will work - and what I’ll do if it doesn’t. It is time to dive in and start making it happen.

And so, if you have a big dream that you’ve been thinking about - or a change you want to make in your life - then this is your invitation to join me: let’s stop thinking about it and start doing it!

In this episode, I talk about:

* How to protect your dream from naysayers (even the well-meaning ones)

* The magic of imperfect action (because perfection is a dream killer)

* How to stay grounded and in your power when the rollercoaster ride of change gets bumpy

* Why surrounding yourself with cheerleaders is non-negotiable

* The power of turning your dream into a project

* Why it’s important to focus on how you want to feel throughout this journey

This is the episode to give you that loving kick up the bum to stop circling and start moving. Because your dream won’t become reality by thinking about it - it becomes reality by taking action, messy and imperfect though it may be.

So grab your dream, grab your courage - it’s time for us to make it happen!

x Selina

💥 Join the Club!

Limited-Time Offer: Subscribe this month for just £9.95/month or £97/year!

✨ Why join now? Because the sooner you start, the sooner your life starts changing.

💛 Join us today and start creating a life you love.

Did anyone else feel totally ambushed last week by the arrival of September?! After sending out a Pep-talk about easing into September with good habits and solid foundations, I went on to completely ignore my own advice and found myself sucked headfirst into the back-to-school chaos.

Once I finally came up for air, I realised just how easy it is to let life sweep us up and pull us off-track. But instead of beating myself up, I’m giving myself some compassion and grace. Because the truth is - we’re human, and sometimes life is a bit of a whirlwind. And this week is a new week and another fresh start 🤗

And speaking of whirlwinds, today I want to dive into that big, scary question that always shows up whenever we take a brave leap or go after a dream:

“But what if it doesn’t work out?”

It’s a question that can arrive (usually at 3am) drenched in panic and fear, throwing us into a spin. So what should we do with this question when it inevitably arrives? Ignore it? Or listen to it?

Well, having witnessed a lot of people face this ‘what if’ question over my decades of coaching and having had to face my own middle-of-the-night ‘what if’ panic recently (because it always happens when you take a leap and embark on a big new dream), I have a lot to say on the matter.

And so in today’s Pep-Talk I look at how to answer that question in a way that calms your nervous system, dials down you inner Shitty Committee and helps you move forward with confidence and excitement - and without the crushing pressure that “this has to work or the world as I know it will end”.

So if you’re making a big change, chasing a dream, or just hearing that 3am voice whispering “what if…”, this P talk is for you.

Hit play and let’s dive in!

x Selina

P.S. If you haven’t yet heard, part of my big leap is waving goodbye to 1:1 coaching so that I can lean full time into my journals business. So if you want to book me in for a one-off Coaching Session or Coaching programme, then get in touch - this could be your last chance!

September always brings with it that unmistakable back-to-school energy. Even if you don’t have kids, there’s something about this month that whispers: fresh start, new chapter, time to begin again.

In this week’s pep talk, I’m inviting you to use that September energy to not just dive into new projects or recommit to old dreams, but to take a step back and ask: how do you want to design your days and weeks so you actually thrive over the next few months?

We’ll talk about the small but powerful daily rituals - morning, daytime, and evening - that keep your energy flowing, your wellbeing topped up, and your dreams moving forward. Because I don’t want you racing into September focused only on everyone else’s needs and forgetting about your own.

Grab your notebook, or Project You journal and let’s map out the simple habits and foundations that will help you feel good, stay grounded, and bring your big ideas to life in this final third of the year.

And if you want to come and join the club (👉 check out what’s on this September) - where you’ll learn how to create a life and career you love, one easy step at a time, hit the button below!

⚡️BONUS: Subscribe this September and get a Project You journaling notebook!

We can often think that the biggest obstacles in the way of making our dreams come are obstacles on the outside - not having X, Y or Z.

But often the biggest obstacles come from within. And one of the biggest of those inner obstacles is our identity.

Because here’s the thing: we can go through all the motions of making that dream come true, but if deep down we can’t imagine ourselves actually being the kind of person who has that dream as their reality…we’ll keep unconsciously blocking it from happening.

And so, in this episode I dive into this topic and explore:

* Why your identity plays such a huge part in making big dreams real

* How your inner Shitty Committee is often holding you back from allowing your identity to grow

* And how to evolve your identity to allow for your new dream to come true without changing who you are

So, hit play and let’s see if your identity is allowing you to go after your dreams or the very thing getting in the way - and what to do about it if it is!

x Selina

In this week’s Pep-Talk, I explore:

Why we so often give up on our dreams (and the sneaky stories we tell ourselves)

The role of failure, fear, and the “shitty committee” in shutting us down

How family history, identity, and even ancestral patterns can make us play small

The importance of experimenting, failing, and trying again—without giving up on the bigger vision

What it looks like to dust off an old dream and breathe new life into it

✨ Whether it’s about your career, relationships, money, or lifestyle—if there’s a dream you’ve shelved, this episode will inspire you to pick it back up and see what might be possible now.

⚡️✨Want support bringing your dreams back to life? Become a paid subscriber and get instant access to monthly workshops, life designing sessions, and a gorgeous community - all dedicated to helping you create the life you really want to be living.

Join the membership here → https://anotherwaywithselinabarker.substack.com/subscribe

Wow, last week’s Pep-Talk - ‘Are you feeling ready for change?’ - was a popular one! And so this week I decided to follow on from that and talk about the big moment when you stop circling, stop tweaking, stop saying “one day”… and finally decide to take that leap of faith and go after that big dream.

I’m right there myself. After 20 years of one-to-one coaching - a career I’ve loved and still believe I was born to do - I’m closing the doors on my 1:1 coaching business this October to focus full-time on building my journals business. It’s exciting, terrifying, and completely the right move.

And here’s the thing: fear will always come along for the ride. Our brains are hardwired to resist change, so your inner Shitty Committee will throw every reason at you not to do it. But that fear isn’t a stop sign - it’s simply a sign that you’re stepping into the unknown.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

* How to tell when it’s really time to leap (and when to hold back)

* The role fear plays in every big change

* The one question to ask yourself before you jump

* Why you’ll never have a perfectly mapped-out plan - and why that’s okay

If you’re standing on the edge of a dream, this one’s for you!

Links & Ways to Work With Me:

* 1:1 Coaching Strategy Sessions – There are a few spots left before I close my 1:1 practice in October.

* Let’s Make It Happen – My brand new 3-month group coaching adventure, starting September - join the waitlist here if you’re interested in finding out more

* Join the club – become a paid subscriber to Another Way to join my club and get the support, inspiration and accountability you need to help you go after your dreams and create a life you really enjoy living

If you’re feeling bored, frustrated, burnt out - or just quietly dreaming of something new, then this week’s Pep-Talk is for you because I am diving into one of my favourite topics: change.

We need to bring about change in our lives in order to grow and flourish, but as human beings we are also hard wired to resist change. Our inner Shitty Committee will almost always think it’s a terrible idea and will fill your head with doubts and fears the moment you even contemplate making a change.

That’s why, even when you know deep down that something needs to shift, you can talk yourself out of it before you’ve even taken the first step.

And those same doubts and fears can also be the very thing stopping us from dreaming freely, so that we can get clear on what change we want to make and how to make that change happen.

And so in this episode, I’ll walk you through how to tell if change is calling you, how to tune into what kind of change you really need, and why it doesn’t always have to mean blowing up your life and starting from scratch.

We’ll talk about how to start dreaming freely again, how to spot when you’ve resigned yourself to ‘that’s just how it is’ limiting beliefs and how even small tweaks can make a big difference.

And if you’re thinking about making changes to your work or career, I’ll share details on how you can book in for a one-off strategy session with me before I step back from coaching later this year. Yep - I’ll be revealing some big news on that front too!

So if you’re feeling ready for change in an area of your life, this Pep-Talk is your invitation to explore what could be next.

Hit play and let’s dive in!

x Selina

Next steps

⚡️ GET MY WEEKLY LIFE DESIGN JOURNALING PROMPTS: Sign up to my Project You weekly life design journaling prompts HERE (they’re free!) - this Wednesday’s exercise is all about change!

⚡️CHECK OUT MY CAREER COACHING PACKAGES - WHILE I’M STILL OFFERING THEM! Check out my Career Change Coaching packages - and get yourself booked into a one-off Career Strategy Session or request to book in a discovery call!

Hi there, I’m Selina, a Career and Life Design Coach, author and podcaster. I’ve been helping people create careers and lives they love for two decades…and now I can’t wait to help you!

When I’m not writing here on Substack, I’m creating new journals and coaching clients all over the world, from my little green office in South East London. You can check out my coaching programmes here.

Is The World Of Work Feeling HARD Right Now? You’re Not Alone (and Here’s What Can Help)

This week’s Pep-Talk is for anyone who’s finding the world of work tough right now. Because let’s face it, a lot of us are.

Maybe you’ve been job-hunting and it feels bleak and hopeless out there.Maybe you’re running a business and everything just feels slower, harder, heavier than before.Or maybe your career was on one track before the pandemic and it just hasn’t panned out the way you hoped.

If any of that sounds familiar, I want you to know: you are not alone. It is a challenging time in the world of work and it’s important to acknowledge that.

But it’s just as important that we don’t get swept up in the story that it’s all doom and gloom. Because once you start believing it’s hopeless, you stop trying to change things. And what I want to show you in today’s pep-talk is, if you’re feeling stuck, burnt out, or just fed up with how things are going in your work or business - there is a way through. You do not have to resign yourself to ‘well this is just how it is now - there’s nothing I can do’.

Yes, things are tough out there, but I’ve also been seeing plenty of people landing dream jobs, taking their careers in exciting new directions, and getting their businesses back in flow.And it’s because they’ve refused to resign themselves to the story that there’s nothing they can do to change things - and instead, they’ve started asking the right questions. The kind I’ll be sharing with you today.

So, hit play and let’s dive in!

And if you’re feeling ready to rethink how you work, come and sign up to my 5-part Career Change Series - it’s free!

⚡️✨And check out my one-off Coaching Session and Coaching Programmes here

Let’s make this the summer where you get your career and work back on track!

x Selina