In this Dear DSO submission, a man reaches out from the middle of an eight-year sexless marriage. He’s passive, anxious, and paralyzed by confusion—and he’s not alone. So many men fall into this trap.

In this episode, I walk through his message and break down what’s really going on here: the anxious attachment, the avoidant wife, the therapy cycles that go nowhere, and the desperation that leads men to stay stuck for years. I also bring up a common thread I see in my community: many of these guys are neurodivergent—autistic, ADHD, or OCD—and they bond fast and deep, which makes walking away feel impossible.

If this sounds like your story, you’re not crazy—but you do need help. Watch to the end to hear what this man should do next—and what you can do if you’re stuck too.

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