In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man who caught his wife sneaking around with ‘just a friend.’ Even when confronted, she flips it on him and calls him insecure. Why do cheaters deny and gaslight instead of owning up? I break it all down—and talk about what men need to do in this situation.

Submit your own story to Dear DSO.
Join the HFM Brotherhood today!

In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man whose wife left him after 33 years of marriage. She had an affair, moved 2,000 miles away, and says she’s finally living for herself. Is this midlife crisis? Perimenopause? Or just long-simmering resentment finally boiling over? I break it all down—and more importantly, talk about what men can do when blindsided like this.

Submit your own story to Deardso.com
Join The HFM Brotherhood!

A man wrote in after 30+ years of marriage. Three kids, a successful career, a busy and interesting life—he’s fit, adventurous, and still chasing growth at 61 years old.

The problem? His wife has completely checked out sexually. No intimacy, no affection, not even a kiss on the cheek. Even hormone therapy hasn’t changed anything. He loves her, doesn’t want divorce, but he’s dying inside.

I got a “Dear DSO” email from a guy who, on paper, checks every single box: tall, fit, wealthy, educated, successful, funny, a family man… and yet, his wife treats sex like a chore. She’s overweight, disengaged, and more interested in romance novels than her husband.

His question: If you’re not a porn star, is this just the life you have to accept?

Most of the guys who find their way to my videos have two things in common: their relationship is falling apart… and their brain feels like a blender stuck on “purée.”

Turns out, a huge number of men struggling with marriage or divorce also have undiagnosed ADHD. In this video, I break down the real signs of adult ADHD in men—no TikTok self-diagnosing nonsense—and show how it wrecks your relationships, ramps up obsession, fuels hypersexuality, and often overlaps with autism.

I also talk about what you can do without burning your life down or living in a van to find inner peace. Spoiler: you're not broken. But understanding how your brain works might just save your marriage—or your sanity.

👇 If this hit close to home, you’re not alone:

 👥 Join the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join

A guy books an emergency coaching call. Says his marriage is hanging by a thread. He's sleeping in the guest room. She won’t talk to him. Full panic mode.

Then when we finally meet?
 “Oh… never mind. We had sex last night. I think we’re good now.”

Let me tell you something, fellas — if a single act of pity sex is enough to make you cancel your plan to fix your marriage… then the marriage was never getting fixed in the first place.

In this video, we’re talking about:

• Why post-conflict sex feels like a miracle cure (but isn’t)
• The illusion of progress vs. real connection
• How men get addicted to “sexual relief” instead of doing the work
• And why you should never cancel your damn coaching session

Join the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join
Read the book that started it all: https://deadbedroomfix.com
Get coaching: https://helpformen.com/coaching

You ever catch yourself stuck in a mental loop? Replaying the breakup, the betrayal, the one thing she said that cut deep?

That’s rumination — and it’s not helping you heal.

In this video, I explain what rumination really is, why your brain gets stuck there, and how to break out of the loop before it drives you insane. We’ll look at the neuroscience, the psychology, and — most importantly — real ways to stop obsessing and start moving forward.

This is for the guys lying awake at night asking “What did I do wrong?”
This is for the guys who want to get unstuck.

Let’s break the cycle.
🌐The HFM Brotherhood (private group for men only): https://helpformen.com/join

This letter hit hard.

A woman writes in to share her story: 20 years of marriage. Zero sex. She thought he had a medical issue. Turns out, he was sleeping with nearly 100 sex workers behind her back. And now… he wants to reconcile.

In this video, I break down what’s really going on here—from the psychology behind sex addiction and shame, to the heartbreaking reality of codependency and emotional devastation.

This story isn’t just about one woman’s pain. It’s a wake-up call for both men and women trapped in toxic dynamics.

✅ Want to submit your story for a future video?
Go to https://deardso.com

🌐The HFM Brotherhood (private group for men only): https://helpformen.com/join

Men ask me all the time: “Why can’t I stop thinking about her past?” You know she had a life before you… but that doesn’t stop your brain from obsessing over every ex, every hookup, every “what if.”

This is retroactive jealousy. And it’s more common — and more damaging — than most guys realize.

In this episode, I’ll explain the science behind it, how it messes with your head, and what you can do to finally get some peace. This isn’t about shaming you. It’s about helping you understand your own mind — so you can stop sabotaging something good.

🔹 Join the Brotherhood (private support group for men):
https://helpformen.com/join

Why does it feel like the therapist is always on your case, even when your wife is the one shutting down emotionally?

In this video, I explain why anxious men—like many of you—end up being the focus in therapy sessions... and it’s not because the therapist is against you. It's because you're actually the one most likely to change and grow.

We’ll talk science, psychology, and real-life patterns I’ve seen in hundreds of men who come to Help For Men. I’ll walk you through:

Why anxious men are more likely to do the work

Why avoidant women tend to resist therapy

What the data says about who actually becomes secure

How your own healing can change the relationship—or your entire life

If you're tired of dragging your wife to therapy while getting all the blame, this one's for you.

✅ Join the Brotherhood today: https://helpformen.com/join
✅ Read The Dead Bedroom Fix: https://deadbedroomfix.com