I hear from a lot of men who fall hard for a woman… and then she starts pulling away. Hot one minute, cold the next. Is it an avoidant attachment style—or is she just not that into you?

In today’s Dear DSO episode, we break down Paul’s situation. He’s stuck in the push-pull dynamic with a woman who’s triggering every anxious bone in his body. I explain why this dynamic is so damn addictive… and what it says about him that he’s still holding on.

If you’ve ever felt stuck trying to “figure her out,” this one’s for you.

👇 Submit your story to be featured:
https://deardso.com

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In this Dear DSO episode, we tackle Holden’s powerful story:
 ✅ A 22-year marriage, wrecked by infidelity
 ✅ A toxic ex dragging their adult kids down
 ✅ A father who rebuilt his life, career, and confidence — but still worries about his boys

I break down what happens long-term when kids get stuck in a toxic home and what (if anything) you, as the healthier parent, can realistically do to help.

If you’re facing similar struggles, you’re not alone — join me and other men like you in the HFM Brotherhood: helpformen.com/join

👉 Submit your own story at deardso.com for a future episode.

In this episode of Dear DSO, I tackle Dave’s story — he’s been married 13 years, but for the last eight, the bedroom has been dead. Less than 10 times a year. He’s doing the chores, paying the bills, helping with everything, hoping it will reignite intimacy… but it hasn’t worked.

We talk about perimenopause, the harsh biological and emotional shifts that happen in long-term marriages, and the hard truth: sometimes, no amount of chore-play will bring back the spark.

👉 Submit your story at deardso.com
Join The HFM Brotherhood!

Is it wrong to want more sex in your marriage? What if your wife thinks you're a pervert for having a normal male sex drive?

In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a submission from a man who feels like a prisoner to his own sexuality. He’s doing the work, improving his life, but still feels rejected, shamed, and shut out by his wife. Sound familiar?

We’ll dig into the anxious/avoidant dynamic, religious repression, codependency, and the harsh truth that sometimes… they just don’t want you anymore.

I’m not here to shame guys like this — I was this guy. If you relate, you’re not alone. We see this pattern over and over inside the Brotherhood.

🔥 If you're done being the bad guy for having needs — get support: https://www.helpformen.com/join

In this Dear DSO episode, we’re diving into a common and surprisingly emotional question:
 "If I get a vasectomy, will my wife still want me?"

This one came from Matt — a father of three, married for five years, and totally done having kids… but now he’s worried that the snip might lead to a dead bedroom.

We break down:

• The primal fears behind vasectomy anxiety
• Whether a man’s fertility is linked to attraction
• The truth about women’s desire post-snip
• How stress and resentment play a bigger role than biology
• Why anxious thoughts can sabotage your relationship

If you’re married, done having kids, and wondering if a vasectomy will ruin your sex life… this one’s for you.

👥 Want to talk this out with other guys who’ve been there?
Join our Brotherhood support community: https://www.helpformen.com/join

In this “Dear DSO” episode, I respond to a story from John—a newly separated man wondering if it’s time to ditch the 9-to-5 life, buy a van, and find himself on the open road.

Is this a classic midlife crisis, or the adventure of a lifetime? Let’s talk about what it means to "lose yourself" in the family machine… and whether it’s ever too late to start over.

👊 Want to share your own story? Submit it at deardso.com and maybe I’ll feature it on a future episode.

👉 If you're a man looking for support, connection, and direction, check out The Brotherhood.

In this Dear DSO submission, a follower named John reached out to share his story. He was in a long-distance relationship, had clear boundaries about contact with the opposite sex, and discovered that his girlfriend followed and messaged a local pharmacy tech—without telling him. That was enough for John to walk away… but now he’s second-guessing everything.

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Michael reached out to me with a story I hear way too often. Thirty years of a sexless marriage, confusion, shame, guilt — and then, one day, his wife finally opens up with a truth that changed everything.

In this raw, honest conversation, we explore what it means to sacrifice your needs, the silent damage it does, and how deeply hidden trauma can shape a marriage for decades.

This one’s for the guys out there wondering:
“Is it me?”
“Am I broken?”
“Should I just stay?”
…or finally walk away.

Join The HFM Brotherhood!

In today’s Dear DSO, I respond to a heartbreaking story from a 39-year-old Army Special Ops veteran who's been through the wringer—divorce, remarriage, infidelity, therapy, and now… his wife wants to separate again, “date,” and possibly reevaluate in six months.

If you've ever felt like you're living in a constant loop of chaos in your relationship, especially after betrayal, this one will hit home. We unpack anxious attachment, gaslighting, guilt, PTSD, and how military culture compounds all of it.

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In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a letter from Jerome—a man who’s feeling disillusioned and depressed about relationships and marriage. After a breakup and years of being told that “marriage is the dream,” he’s beginning to question everything.

Does long-term monogamy even work anymore? Are women really wired for it? Is the “wife and kids” dream still alive for men today?

I unpack all of this and more—including what I’ve learned from helping thousands of men, my interview with Women’s Infidelity author Michelle Langley, and my own personal experiences.

📩 Submit your own story or question at https://DearDSO.com

Join the HFM Brotherhood!