We all have hurts from close relationships -- and especially in marriages.  It is impossible to be in such an intimate relationship and not bump into each other (in hurtful ways) over and over.  The problem is when the hurts don't heal.

Bumps, they happen.  Continued pain and hurt from the bumps, that doesn't have to happen.

Yet, many times, I watch couples dragging the hurts around for way to long.  Weeks, months, even years.  Not noticing the damage that is happening to the relationship along the way.

There are two parts to the process of healing:  apology and forgiving.  But, and this is important, they are not dependent upon each other.  They are separate.  Sometimes, people lump them together.  And while they are related, one does not link to the other.

You may apologize and the other person, for example, may not forgive you.  Likewise, the other person may not apologize, and yet you still choose to forgive.

Let's talk about each of these processes and why they are not related... and why that is important.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES

Hurt and Blame

How Hurt Keeps You Stuck

Book: The Forgive Process

Anatomy Of An Apology

Why To Forgive

Save The Marriage System

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