Ask a Death Doula

Have you ever wondered how a healthcare proxy can impact your end-of-life planning?

As a devoted hospice and oncology nurse, I've witnessed firsthand the profound importance of choosing the right person to voice your medical wishes. Embark on this journey with me as I share heartwarming and sometimes heartbreaking stories that reveal the true essence of a healthcare proxy and how it differs from a financial power of attorney. By the time we're done, you'll have gained invaluable insight into selecting someone who can ensure your journey concludes with dignity and peace.

Understanding the terminology around healthcare proxies can often feel like navigating a labyrinth. Terms like healthcare surrogate and healthcare agent might sound confusing, but each has a specific role in safeguarding your medical preferences. Drawing from over two decades of experience and memorable moments from around the globe, including a life-changing trip to Zimbabwe, I unravel these complexities. For those without an obvious choice, learn about innovative solutions like doula giver healthcare proxy mixers and support groups that help you make these crucial decisions.

The episode doesn't just stop at education—it’s a call to prepare and act. With the launch of the Good Death book, you have a chance to delve deeper into the art of living and dying well. I also invite you to a live masterclass where you can expand your understanding and engage with others on this journey. Join us and transform the way you approach end-of-life planning, ensuring that your wishes are honored, and your loved ones spared unnecessary distress.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on February 26th at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive into:

(00:00) Choosing a Healthcare Proxy

Links mentioned in this episode:

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

Unlock the secrets to a more peaceful and prepared end-of-life experience with insights from our latest session in the Good Death Seminar series.

As a hospice and oncology nurse, I draw from my extensive experience to transform the fear and chaos surrounding death into an opportunity for growth and understanding. You'll learn how to have essential end-of-life conversations that not only honor loved ones but also teach us valuable lessons about truly living. Discover how the Good Death Movement is reshaping societal perceptions and inspiring a more meaningful appreciation for life.

Our discussion delves into the importance of having advanced directive conversations with family and friends, ensuring that end-of-life wishes are respected and documented. Through poignant stories, such as that of Mrs. Murphy, we highlight the potential heartbreak and conflict that arise from avoiding these critical discussions. Learn about the role of certified end-of-life doulas and the significance of legal documents like advanced directives and the POLST form in making your wishes known and legally recognized.

Join us as we explore advanced directives' profound impact on families and medical professionals, offering peace of mind and clear guidance for those difficult decisions. We emphasize the need for proactive communication and preparation to bridge gaps in care and prevent misunderstandings. By participating in our movement, you contribute to a cultural shift in how society views death, fostering conversations that lead to a more serene and dignified end-of-life journey for all.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on February 12th at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive into:

(00:00) Good Death Seminar Series Introduction

Links mentioned in this episode:

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

How prepared are you to support a loved one at the end of life?

This is a question many avoid but is crucial for everyone to consider. In the Good Death Seminar Series, we equip you with the knowledge and confidence to navigate the journey of end-of-life care. We begin by sharing personal stories that illustrate the transformative power of being educated and empowered in this role. Together, we'll explore the history and purpose of hospice care, the impact of Medicare, and critical questions you should ask when selecting a hospice provider. Our goal is to make a meaningful difference, even if it helps just one person find peace and positivity in challenging times.

As we continue, we confront the challenges posed by the rising number of for-profit hospices, questioning how profit-driven motives might affect the quality of care. Through poignant narratives like Mr. Penn's, we expose systemic gaps and the urgent need for patient-centered care. By reflecting on the invaluable contributions of hospice workers, we advocate for a renewed focus on collaboration to ensure dignified and supportive end-of-life experiences. With discussions on pain management, advanced directive documents, and the essential role families play, we aim to empower you with the tools needed for informed decision-making.

Finally, we underscore the importance of seeing death not just as a medical event but as a profound human experience. Inspired by the wisdom of Cicely Saunders, we discuss how education, kindness, and support can restore the sacredness of both life and death. You'll discover resources like the Good Death, Good Life Masterclass and the Confident Caregiver Course, designed to equip you with essential skills for compassionate care. By preparing for the end of life, we not only enhance our daily experiences and relationships but also empower ourselves to live fully and without regrets.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on January 29th at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive into:

(00:01) - Understanding Hospice Care Seminar Series

(11:49) - Challenges of for-Profit Hospice Care

(20:25) - Addressing Gaps in End-of-Life Care

(27:29) - Enhancing End-of-Life Care Support

(40:27) - Empowering Families in End-of-Life Care

(43:45) - Key Questions for Hospice Care

(47:50) - The Good Death Movement Opportunity

(52:52) - Promoting End-of-Life Care Movement

Links mentioned in this episode:

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

Kris Carr, a remarkable individual who has thrived with stage four cancer for nearly two decades, joins us to share her incredible journey and tools on how to THRIVE in LIFE!

She reveals how her diagnosis became a catalyst for empowerment, blending traditional and integrative care while tuning into her intuition. Kris opens up about navigating the challenges of uncertainty and fear, ultimately finding profound peace in confronting mortality. Her story inspires us to consider how embracing a growth mindset can transform life's most difficult moments into opportunities for personal evolution.

Our conversation takes a personal turn as we examine the transformative power of a health crisis. She shares her own experience with a rare cancer diagnosis that prompted a radical shift in her approach to self-care and emotional well-being. As a coach, she discusses guiding others through similar challenges with empathy and the healing potential of forgiveness. We explore the hidden blessings within adversity and the importance of connecting with one's inner wisdom to navigate life's journey with authenticity and courage.

Food and mindfulness emerge as key components in Kris's wellness philosophy, emphasizing an anti-inflammatory lifestyle grounded in whole, plant-based nutrition. We explore the simplicity of incorporating daily habits like smoothies and manageable exercise routines.

Kris shares her insights into the five pillars of wellness, underscoring the impact of mindful choices on stress and inflammation. The episode concludes with reflections on self-connection, forgiveness, and pursuing happiness, ultimately encouraging listeners to live with grace and empowerment amidst life's challenges.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on January 29th at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive into:

(00:02) Cancer Journey and Turning Points

Links mentioned in this episode:

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

What happens when we embrace the reality of death instead of fearing it?

Join me, Suzanne O'Brien, founder of the International Doula Givers Institute, on the Ask a Death Doula podcast as we embark on a transformative journey through the complex world of end-of-life care with The Good Death Seminar Series. This episode promises to challenge your perceptions, with stories from my hospice experiences and insights from historical perspectives that confront our deep-seated fear of death. Together, we'll explore how aligning our intentions with compassion can redefine our understanding of what it truly means to experience a 'good death.'

Throughout our engaging Good Death Seminar Series, we delve into the intricacies of end-of-life care within the current medical system, questioning if we've forgotten that death is a natural part of life. Through personal anecdotes, from patients like Vivian to families navigating the difficult medical landscape, we highlight the necessity of a purpose-driven approach. We'll discuss the lost art of dying, dissecting cultural and language barriers that obscure the reality of mortality and urging for a return to empathy and understanding.

Our journey doesn't stop there. We address the commercialization of death and the urgency of respecting individual end-of-life wishes. By sharing poignant stories, like that of oncology patient Maureen, we examine how a supportive and informed environment can empower people facing the end of life. With a focus on compassion and personal responsibility, we explore how each of us, with the right education and support, can foster a world where everyone has the opportunity to experience a good death. Join us as we embrace the sacredness of death and its reflection on life, paving the way for a compassionate future.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on January 15th at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive into:

(00:01) Ask a Death Doula Podcast Welcome

Links mentioned in this episode:

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

Navigating the Journey with Hospice Nurse Penny: Valuing End-of-Life Care

In this episode of the Good Death podcast series, we converse with Penny Smith, also known as Hospice Nurse Penny. A renowned hospice and palliative care nurse, Penny discusses her journey from a tumultuous past to becoming an RN and a social media influencer with over 2 million followers. She highlights the importance of hospice education, the misconceptions about hospice care, and the profound impact of bedside visitations. Penny shares her personal story, including her experience with death anxiety and her father's post-death visitation, aiming to normalize the end-of-life process and remove the stigma surrounding it. This conversation offers an inspiring look into the importance of discussing and understanding end-of-life care.

We dive in to:

00:00 Introduction to the Good Death Podcast

00:25 Meet Hospice Nurse Penny

03:17 Penny's Journey to Hospice Nursing

09:52 Discovering Social Media During the Pandemic

12:23 Writing the Book: A Journey of Reflection

14:44 A Life-Changing Encounter with Law Enforcement

18:57 Overcoming Personal Challenges

21:26 Misconceptions About Hospice and End-of-Life Care

22:27 Late Hospice Admissions and Misconceptions

23:22 The Role of Medications in Hospice Care

24:42 The Emotional and Sacred Aspects of Hospice Work

26:25 Personal Reflections and Life Lessons

27:50 Deathbed Visions and Spiritual Experiences

30:58 Personal Stories of Afterlife Encounters

36:24 The Impact of Spiritual Beliefs on Grief

37:06 Conclusion

Links mentioned in this episode:

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

Navigate the intricate emotions of grief during the holiday season with insights from our latest episode of Ask a Death Doula.

Discover effective strategies to manage the sorrow of missing a loved one, whether you're facing their absence for the first time or have been carrying this weight for years. We provide five transformative tips to help you find peace and meaning in the midst of pain, drawing on universal truths from diverse cultural and religious perspectives that can reshape how we view the end-of-life experience. Our aim is not only to ease the burden of grief but also to cultivate a sense of enduring love and connection with those who have passed on.

We delve into the art of creating family traditions that honor and remember those no longer with us—forging bonds that transcend the boundaries of life and death. From cooking treasured family recipes to exchanging gifts in a loved one's name, these heartfelt rituals can foster a sense of unity and continuity. Imagine a memory jar filled with stories and messages that keep their spirit alive, or dedicating acts of kindness that extend their legacy into the world. These practices are not just acts of remembrance; they are pathways to healing, offering comfort and a shared sense of purpose as we celebrate the holidays with the presence of our loved ones felt in every moment.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on January 1st at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive in to:

(02:52) Complicated Grief and End of Life

(06:56) Holiday Rituals for All Ages 

(11:53) Memory Jar for Remembering Loved Ones

(17:07) Coping With Grief During Holidays 

Links mentioned in this episode:

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

How do we redefine the end-of-life journey with compassion and innovation?

We promise that today's episode with Dr. Michael Fratkin, a trailblazing rural palliative care physician, will leave you with a fresh perspective on healing and human connection. Dr. Fratkin's early experiences with loss and the societal norms surrounding death set him on a path to transform how we understand and approach palliative care. His insights, shaped by the AIDS crisis and personal encounters, demonstrate the power of empathy in reshaping our response to life's most challenging moments.

Dr. Fratkin shares his remarkable journey from a traditional medical career to becoming an entrepreneur in the healthcare industry. His love for outdoor adventures sparked a medical career that evolved beyond conventional pathways, leading to the creation of Resolution Care—a pioneering home-based palliative care program. Discover how embracing indigenous healing practices and technology allowed him to address burnout and expand his impact across multiple states, ultimately resulting in a heartfelt business journey experienced alongside family and friends.

In our conversation, we uncover the profound lessons Dr. Fratkin has learned from elders and end-of-life experiences, particularly regarding consciousness and healing. We explore the transformative potential of psychedelic therapy, emphasizing the importance of foundational support and emotional healing. From the wisdom of indigenous cultures to the power of gratitude and forgiveness, this episode invites you to challenge modern healthcare shortcomings and cultivate a deeper understanding of life, happiness, and spiritual fulfillment. Join us as we share upcoming events and initiatives that aim to foster informed communities around these innovative therapeutic practices.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on December 18th at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive in to:

00:02) - Dr. Fratkin's Path to Palliative Care

(08:52) - From Medicine to Entrepreneurship

(17:49) - Exploring Consciousness and Healing Professionally

(32:53) - Healing With Psychedelic Therapy

Links mentioned in this episode:

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

Losing a child is an unimaginable pain that no parent should have to endure.

For Darryl Rodgers, founder of The Family Recovery Coach, this heartache became a catalyst for transformation. Darryl's life shifted dramatically after the tragic loss of his son, Chase, who died in a marijuana-impaired car accident at the tender age of 20. In this heartfelt episode, Darryl shares his deeply personal journey, offering invaluable insights into the world of addiction and the significant role that empathy and understanding play in family recovery.

As we explore the challenging terrain of addiction, particularly among young adults, Darryl emphasizes the importance of early, open communication and a non-judgmental approach. Parents often struggle with how to react to their child's substance use, and harsh reactions can sometimes do more harm than good. By understanding the underlying traumas that often drive addiction, families can foster a supportive environment where healing is possible. Darryl's reflections on his own experiences provide a sobering yet hopeful perspective on the delicate balance of guiding a child through their darkest moments.

Grief, in all its forms, is a recurring theme in our conversation. Darryl discusses anticipatory grief and the heart-wrenching loss of the child he once knew, offering a poignant look at how addiction transforms individuals and families alike. Yet, through his grief, Darryl found purpose—turning his pain into a mission to help others. His work, including his book, short film, and coaching services, is dedicated to supporting families in similar situations. Darryl's website, thefamilyrecoverycoach.com, offers resources and a free 30-minute strategy session for parents embarking on their recovery journey. Join us for this powerful episode and discover the strength, resilience, and hope that can emerge from even the deepest sorrow.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on December 4th at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive into:

(00:00) Navigating Addiction and Family Recovery

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Doulagivers Institute

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

• Making your wishes known is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your loved ones. Download The Doulagivers 9 Choice Advance Directive now! It's FREE!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!

Unlock the secrets to a richer, more connected life through the transformative power of gratitude.

Join us as we unravel the science-backed benefits of gratitude from renowned studies, and discover a simple daily practice that promises to elevate your well-being and attract positivity. Ever wondered how a shift in perspective can change your life's frequency? This episode holds the answers, offering insights into how gratitude can be a guiding force in achieving personal growth and fulfillment.

Guided by my own journey from a hospital nurse to finding purpose as a hospice nurse, we'll explore how gratitude and compassionate living can shape a vibrant existence. Embrace the lessons from end-of-life care, where appreciating life's simple blessings leads to profound inner transformation. By aligning with love and service, we can let go of control and experience life anew, all while recognizing and respecting the unseen struggles others are facing. Tune in to embark on a journey of self-discovery and connection, where gratitude becomes the key to unlocking your true potential.

SIGN UP FOR THE "GOOD DEATH" SEMINAR SERIES on December 4th at 7pm ET - Click here

The Good Death Seminar Series will be hosted LIVE on Zoom! Space is limited! Save your seat now!

We dive into: 

(00:02) - The Power of Gratitude and Connection

(11:16) - The Power of Gratitude and Vibration

(26:43) - Embracing Gratitude for a Beautiful Life

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Doulagivers Institute

80-90% of a positive end of life depends on these two things:

Knowing the basic skills on how to care for someone at the end of life and planning ahead - and BOTH Doulagivers Institute is giving you for FREE!

Access them Below!

• Making your wishes known is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your loved ones. Download The Doulagivers 9 Choice Advance Directive now! It's FREE!

More about what we do at Doulagivers Institute - Click here!