Ask Christopher West

If we are redeemed, why must our bodies die? How do you deal with lustful thoughts as a woman? Is it sinful to be intimate with my husband after he has had a vasectomy?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: I am really grateful for this teaching on Theology of the Body and for your ministry. You’re spreading very good news and everything’s starting to make sense in my life.

Q2: I'm struggling to know how long to hold onto lustful thoughts. I’ve realized, through listening to other women's stories, that I have quite a high sex drive for a woman, and thoughts about intimacy pop into my head daily. I'm single but dating someone I'm very interested in, and my attraction to him as a whole person intensifies my imagination. While I used to hate myself every time this craving for intimacy would pop into my head, I've learned from your podcast that it's okay to have space for that and look for the deeper, good need behind it.

Q3: In my country it is very common for people to decide how many kids you want and then get sterilized once you have them. I thought we were doing great with NFP, but after a scary pregnancy with our fourth baby, we felt so tired, scared, and overwhelmed without family close to help. We decided my husband would have a vasectomy. Everybody does it, we thought. As time passes, and I learn more about Theology of the Body, I regret this decision.I know marriage, sex and babies go together, but now we can’t have babies. I feel that maybe we are doing something wrong when my husband wants to be intimate with me. Is it wrong to be intimate now?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Register for the 2nd Annual Theology of the Body Virtual Conference! (April 30-May 2, 2021)

Register for online or in-person courses with the Theology of the Body Institute!

Vasectomy Reversals at Cost

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

What is an emotional affair? How can people who have been educated by pornography trust their hearts?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: We talk a lot about lust and the degrading of a person through a physical sexual act but I am often hearing about emotional affairs but what if a wife or girlfriend were to be seeking and desiring emotional companionship with someone other than her husband or boyfriend?

Q2: How can people who have been educated on sexuality through pornography learn what is good and what is not? Even some catholics authors are vague on the acceptable behaviors. I even read some that encourage many kinds of behaviors that are found in pornography. But how can a generation who has been educated by porn learn to trust their heart?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Register for the 2nd Annual Theology of the Body Virtual Conference!

Register for online or in-person courses.

Good News About Sex and Marriage

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How can I explain that living together before marriage is not a part of God's plan without having to explain hours of TOB? Do I need to tell my husband about my sexual past? Why is Mary called "Mother Undefiled"?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: I have several nieces and nephews who are cohabitating with their significant others. They have a completely secular view about their sexuality. How can I explain that living together before marriage is not a part of God's plan without having to explain hours of TOB right off the bat? I need to hook them with something so that they'll belive me and I can chip away with TOB slowly.

Q2: I am a wife and mother, and a fairly new convert to the faith. I’ve been deeply grieved by the sin of my past, even though I understand that through the sacramental graces of confession I am forgiven, I fear I must also seek forgiveness from my husband. In our courtship, I failed to confess to him my sexual past. These were things I had never spoken of to anyone until my confessor. And although I know I am forgiven, I am still deeply ashamed. The encounters I had left me with emotional scarring and pain. My question is an earnest plea for spiritual guidance on what to do when I have brought my sins to my confessor, but am unsure of whether or not I must also confess these to my spouse?

Q3: Hello Christopher and Wendy, thank you so much for your podcast! It has helped me greatly with understanding and accepting my body and God's plan for it. I have noticed that a lot of times sex is spoken of as a bad thing, for example one of the titles of Mary is “Mother Undefiled.” This really confuses me because if sex is a good thing why would it be referred to as being defiled? Could you please explain this to me?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

The 2nd Annual FREE Theology of the Body Virtual Conference (April 30 - May 2, 2021)

Course Calendar

Theology of the Body at the Movies

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

What is your advice to someone who feels thrown away? Why is it a sin for me to cut myself but ok for St. Francis to flog himself? What hope can Theology of the Body give for my daughter who struggles with same sex attraction?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: Thank you for all your amazing work on the podcast! I have heard Christopher talk about the dangers of Manicheism and Puritanism. I understand that we should never blame the good things that God created for our misuse of them. Which brings me to my dilemma. I think that my boyfriend broke up with me because he was too attracted to me. He is a devout Catholic and seems to avoid many things that could lead him to the near occasion of sin. Although he cited a different reason for breaking up (not enough time for a relationship), I suspect that he broke up because he could not control his desires around me. We broke our physical boundaries twice during the relationship. What is your advice to someone who feels thrown away? How should I learn from this experience, pray for him, or what else would you suggest?

Q2: I’ve been told by a few priests that to cut or self-injure is a sin and even a grave one and reframing the struggle that way has helped me to resist the temptation with more success. But. . . I was wondering if you could speak to why it is a sin for me to cut myself but ok for say St Francis to flog himself? Like, what is the difference and does the Theology of the Body speak to this?

Q3: Our 17 year old daughter thinks she may be "gay" and I know the better term is "same sex attraction." She didn't tell me this but told my husband. I am not sure why she thinks that so I don't know if she really has same sex attraction or if she is afraid of getting close to guys because of father wounds. She says "she knows she is a girl" when there is all this talk everywhere about transgender people. She also thinks the Catholic Church doesn't like gay people but I have told her it's not the inclination or the person but the acting on it that is wrong. I have said all of us are called to be chaste. I love the Theology of the Body teachings and try to get her to read the books. I have many fears now for her and I am asking whether there is hope for her and what can you share of the teachings of the Theology of the Body that can give her and me hope?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction by Janelle Hallman

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How should I counsel someone who wants to follow the Church's teaching while his wife wants to use contraception? Should I break up with my girlfriend since we've been falling to sexual sin? How can I discern between cellibacy and marriage when those around me are convinced of my path?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: As a priest, I have been trying to help someone who is struggling within his marriage about contraception – specifically, he wants to follow the Church's teaching, but his wife does not. What advice can you give me about how to counsel him?

Q2: My girlfriend and I have been struggling to live out the church's teaching on pre-marital sex and have fallen into sin a few times. Sometimes this leads to arguments between us where I voice how I feel like I have to choose between her and God when we sin. However, I also recognise our relationship isn't just about our struggles with sexual sin and she does inspire me in many other ways to grow closer in my relationship with the Lord. I'm unsure whether it's God's will for me to break up with her or continue to struggle to be chaste with her.

Q3: Hello Christopher and Wendy! First, thank you so much for the joy and witness you bring as a married couple. Your example has brought so much healing to my view of marriage so from the bottom of my heart thank you. For my question: I had been discerning religious life for a long time but recently felt the call to start discerning marriage instead. Whenever I tell my friends this, they typically say something along the lines of, "Well, God is probably just calling you to marriage with Him." This language has truly been so painful because I feel like I can no longer even read about the beauty of what marriage can be because I am constantly told it's not for me. Could you please speak to this?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Theology of the Body Institute Course Schedule

TOB Virtual Conference

VADEMECUM FOR CONFESSORS CONCERNING SOME ASPECTS OF THE MORALITY OF CONJUGAL LIFE

Good News about Sex & Marriage

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Should I think of Mary when I kiss my wife? What's the difference between repressing something and the self-discipline? What books on TOB should I recommend to my young-adult daughters?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: Last November, a priest suggested me to intensify my love to our Mother Blessed Virgin Mary. The idea that came up to my mind is: each time I kiss my wife, consider that I am kissing Mary, and receive her kisses like Saint Joseph. It really works but sometimes I feel kind of embarrassed, and I am not sure if this idea is good or not.

Q2: I don't understand the difference between repressing something and the self-discipline which our faith encourages us to practice. Can you please explain? Thank you both immensely for the show!

Q3: I have two daughters, age 22 and 24, who both have boyfriends. I was recently introduced to TOB and find that had I known certain truths, my marriage may not have suffered the way it did. I'm wondering which book of yours would be best for me to give them. You are truly gifted & blessed with the TOB knowledge and I am interested to get to know more myself.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

The Anti-Mary Exposed: Rescuing the Culture from Toxic Femininity by Carrie Gress, PhD

A Meditation on Givenness by Pope John Paul II

Good News about Sex & Marriage

Theology of the Body for Beginners

The Cry of the Heart

Theology of the Body Institute Course Schedule

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

I believe God is calling me to marry a man whom I dated this summer but he has discerned that it is not the right time for him to have a relationship. What would you advise me to do? Does God delight in a person's beautiful outward appearance? If so, what if you don't have good looks? My husband I learned that we are infertile and the grief is hitting us hard. Could you speak some life into this darkness?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: I believe God is calling me to marry a man whom I dated this summer and fall. He has discerned that it is not the right time for him to have a relationship, and now we only see each other in groups. He is a devout Catholic and says he wants to focus on his work as a religious education director right now. God keeps giving me little hints that maybe I should not give up hope for this relationship to happen in the future.

Q2: I have a question about exterior beauty. God is beauty itself, and he delights in it. And I know beauty goes way beyond just outer appearance, but there is something to be said for a beautiful looking man or woman. And it's pretty obvious that some people are simply better looking than others. People are drawn to good looking people in a certain way. So my question is, does God delight in a person's beautiful outward appearance, and if so, what if you don't have good looks? Did God just not want you to have outer beauty?

Q3: Hi Christopher and Wendy!

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Register for TOB2 Online (March 1-12, 2021)

Theology of the Body Institute Course Schedule

Register for the TOB Patron Virtual Retreat (February 27, 2021)

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How can a painful past become a source of love and bonding? Can the Catholic faith be reconciled with the theories of evolution? Should we reject Bruce Springsteen for blasphemy?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: I am 33 and waiting for responsible love and marriage. My boyfriend, a practicing Catholic, recently disclosed his past to me — and it is very overwhelming. He has caused and experienced so much pain and suffering that I feel no longer physically attracted to him at this moment. I have forgiven him, but somehow my natural attraction to him has faded. Do you think this feeling will pass? How can a painful past become a source of strength, healing and somehow mysteriously, love and bonding?

Q2: I love the endless depth of Genesis, especially through the lens of Theology of the Body. Could you share a bit about how you reconcile the deep truths found in Genesis with the science of evolution? I know Genesis isn't intended literally so it's not quite that I'm asking. I'm more wondering things like - did humanity evolve to a certain point as animals without souls and then God breathed his life into Adam and Eve, making them human?

Q3: In one of your recent podcasts you spoke of your affinity for the music of Bruce Springsteen. Like you, I am a big fan and even though I do not have one musical fiber in me, I greatly enjoy his art and am very grateful that he has shared his talent with the entire world. He has a song called, “If I Were a Priest” that was written long ago but recently released. In this song, he seemingly blasphemes the Blessed Mother and the Holy Spirit. I say “seemingly” because different people will interpret these words and the entire song differently, but it sure seems very irreverent to me. The 1st Saturday devotion was established by Jesus and Mary to counter attacks against her Immaculate Heart. In support of this devotion, it seems that we should reject the attacker (no matter how talented he is) in some way. Do you have any thoughts on this?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Theology of the Body II: Into the Deep (Online, March 1-12, 2021)

Theology of the Body Institute Course Schedule

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Can experiences of sexual desire be an invitation to intercession? My wife and I recently had a miscarriage and I feel that I lost my purpose as a father. Do you know of something that I could do to help with this struggle? Am I wrong to believe that anyone with same-sex attraction can reorder their eros if they truly want to?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Free Word Made Flesh Lenten Sunday Mass Companion!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: In one episode, you mentioned that spouses sometimes physically feel what one another is struggling with that day as a type of intercession or signal that they should pray for their spouse in a certain area. I am an unmarried woman, but I have recently experienced intense feelings of increased sexual desire for no reason, before seeing a friend of mine who I believe struggles with lust. Could this be an invitation to pray for him? How can I cope with these desires that I never had to deal with before?

Q2: My wife and I have recently experienced a miscarriage of our second child at 12 weeks after conception. We named her Amelia. We had a funeral and burial service for her and believe she is with the Lord. Even knowing this I struggle with her loss. I feel as though I lost my purpose as a father as I was not able to take care of her the way that I take care of my son and my wife. I was not able to sacrifice myself f or her. Do you know of something that I could do to help me with my struggle?

Q3: Am I wrong to believe that anyone with same-sex attraction can reorder their eros if they truly want to?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Snowflake close up

TOBI Course Schedule

Theology of the Body for Beginners

Good News about Sex & Marriage

The Third Way: Homosexuality and the Catholic Church

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Can you give some encouragement and advice for men like me trying their best to practice chastity to not fall into self disgust and feelings of uselessness? Are women inherently more integrated than men? What advice can you give to those of us trying to have holy marriages but are really struggling with our own spouse

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and receive ongoing formation? Join our Patron Community!

Q1: I have really felt God speaking to me through this podcast and it has been such a wealth of knowledge and wisdom.

Q2: Could you explain this quote from Saint Edith Stein?

Q3: I love your marriage and the way the two of you interact and look at each other. What steps have you both taken to have the marriage you have today? What did you do when you were really struggling (individually and/or together)? What advice can you give to those of us trying to have holy marriages but are really struggling with our own spouse - maybe deep wounds from the past they don't address (and possibly don't want to address with you)?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Heaven's Song: Sexual Love as It Was Meant to Be

Discovering the Human Person: In Conversation with John Paul II

The Cry of The Heart - YouTube Video

Theology of the Body Virtual Conference 2020

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.