Ask Christopher West

What factors are in play when discerning openness to children in marriage? How does Theology of the Body relate to the Catechism? If God's going to be merciful anyway, why keep trying to do His will?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Access the 2020 Theology of the Body Virtual Conference with a Premium Pass!

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Q1: Could you share thoughts or experiences about the factors in play when discerning openness to children in marriage? Things like responsibility, God's providence, different cultural expectations, etc.

Q2: I just read you teach on studying the Catechism with an emphasis on TOB. Can you tell me more about that, please?

Q3: I often get deeply dispaired and lose hope in humanity when I see all the news about pedofilia, Catholics being advocates of the LGBT movement, my brothers having premarital relations with their girlfriends, having to plead with them to watch the mass on Sundays, etc. It seems as If there are no consequences. And, anyhow, God's going to be merciful. So, why keep on trying to do God's will?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Register for the TOB Congress taking place virtually Oct. 30-Nov. 1

Fullfilled Series

Catechism Paragraphs 2605 and 2606

Eclipse of the Body

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Isn't the phrase "Natural Family Planning" somewhat misleading? What are your thoughts on a single woman fostering and perhaps adopting children? Can I expect God to communicate to me through "signs"?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Access the 2020 Theology of the Body Virtual Conference with a Premium Pass!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: Dear Christopher and Wendy, I thank you wholeheartedly! I started listening to the podcast to learn more about TOB for my ministry, but the Lord was waiting for me there mainly to help me personally and heal my wounds. I’m a missionary priest and I have eleven brothers and sisters, now all of us in their thirties and twenties. I know we are the fruit of my parent’s daily challenge to discover and accept God’s will, needing His grace day by day anew.

Q2: I am a 40 year old single woman who wished to have been married, but it seems that time may be past. I have come to acceptance of this and look forward to what God may have in store for me for the rest of my life, even if it may lead back to marriage. My question is: my heart has always gone out to foster children and I have this intense desire to give them a loving home. This comes up from time to time. But I hesitate, as I understand they may even more desperately need a male role model in their lives, and I wouldn’t have that in place. What are your thoughts on a single woman fostering and perhaps adopting children? Would this even be a wise thing to do?

Q3: Hello, Christopher and Wendy! I want to know your opinion about asking the Holy Spirit for signs and when I say signs I mean like: “If today I see a guy with a blue shirt holding a cheesecake, You're telling me that he is my soulmate.” I exaggerated but I guess you get it. In the old testament there are examples of God using signs. Sometimes He says what the sign will be; sometimes a specific sign is requested from Him. Can I ask or expect God to communicate to me this way?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Register for TOB1 in person with Bill Donaghy: November 15-20, 2020

Word Made Flesh - Full Set

Word Made Flesh - Cycle B

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How does taking testosterone as a man differ from a woman taking hormonal birth control or a person who identifies as transgender using hormone injections to “transition” into the opposite sex? How are we to be selfless while maintaining our dignity as persons? Can you explain more about "the new ethos" mentioned in your book "Our Bodies Tell God's Story"?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Access the 2020 Theology of the Body Virtual Conference with a Premium Pass!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: My boyfriend just shared with me that he recently began taking testosterone injections. His reasons for wanting to take them include wanting an increase in energy, an improved mood, and to feel better overall physically. He assures me that it is safe, and his doctor has assured him it is safe as well. However, I can’t help but feel a bit off-put by his decision to take them, since his bloodwork indicated his testosterone levels were completely normal prior to the injections. He is only 25 years old, and in great shape physically. I feel that he does not need the injections. The thought keeps resounding in my mind that he is on steroids, and it does not sit right with me. Would you please share your perspective on this through the lens of Theology of the Body? How is this different from a woman taking hormonal birth control or a person who identifies as transgender who uses hormone injections to “transition” into the opposite sex?

Q2: Recently I heard of someone talking about the characteristic of being "selfless" and how this may not in fact be something praise worthy to the point that we are denying our goodness as a person/personhood by saying this. I cant remember where I heard it and thought it was maybe your podcast. But could you comment on this in light of TOB and how by growing in relationship to God we are to become more fully ourselves and fully alive. Are the two congruent?

Q3: Hello! I’m reading your book “Our bodies tell God’s story” and I would love to hear you speak more about “the new ethos.” Is this like a much powerful way of discernment?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Theology of the Body for Beginners

Our Bodies Tell God's Story

Theology of the Body Explained

Man and Woman He Created Them

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

When it comes to praying for a spouse, to what degree should I expect God to fulfill my checklist? I read in a protestant book for women that we have no right to expect our husband to stay sexually pure if we constantly pull away. Can you give a TOB perspective on this?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Access the 2020 Theology of the Body Virtual Conference with a Premium Pass!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: When it comes to praying for a spouse after discerning the call to marriage, to what extent should I expect God to consider my inner desires for physical beauty, age similarity and personality traits? I'm afraid to seek dates/courtship because of the possibility that God might expect me to be open to someone who doesn't meet my inner checklist.

Q2: In a Protestant book to help wives recover from the porn addiction of their husband, I read this: "While we're quick to expect our husbands to tow God's line of sexual purity, we're often slow to tow HIs other line and admit that our bodies aren't our own. We have no right to expect our husband to stay sexually pure if we constantly pull away. We're his sole vessel of sexual satisfaction and guys need regular sexual fulfillment, two to three times a week." I need the TOB point of view on this in my journey to heal.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Good News about Sex & Marriage

Theology of the Body for Beginners

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Is it immoral to cohabitate with your fiance due to COVID if you are not engaging in intercourse and taking measures to avoid scandal? Do you have any wisdom for overcoming the struggle with pornography after a relapse? How do we know John “leapt for joy” in the womb?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Access the 2020 Theology of the Body Virtual Conference with a Premium Pass!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: I had a question about a very unique cohabitation situation. One of my friends (say Bob) is cohabitating with his fiance because of COVID. They decided that it was healthier that they live together since she would be in an unhealthy family situation at home with no job. Bob is a very devout Catholic and is very aware on the churches teachings (he's read some of your books), and in an effort to reduce scandal his brother is living in his apartment as well. Bob is hoping that his fiance can move out soon, but it has been over a month and the deadline only keeps getting extended for quarantine. The question: If they are not engaging in sex and believe that they are not committing scandal, is this still contrary to the church's teaching? He is one of my best friends so I'm very concerned for his spiritual welfare and helping him avoid scandal.

Q2: I am having trouble overcoming my attachment to pornography. I have struggled with it since I was 7 years old. I had a major conversion when I was 20 years old and I stopped watching pornography for 4 years after that. I am now 25 and the past year the problem has resurfaced and I am struggling again and I do not know why. I thought I had the problem under control. Do you have any spiritual or practical wisdom that you can impart?

Q3: How do we know John “leapt for joy” in the womb? I mean how do we discern between that and just a swift kick in the rib or evening calisthenics?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Interrior Freedom by Fr. Jacques Philippe

Join Matt Fradd and discover the keys to a life of freedom

If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: [email protected]

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

If we won't be married in heaven, will we still be together as a family? How does God's command to "be fruitful and multiply" apply to us today?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Access the 2020 Theology of the Body Virtual Conference with a Premium Pass!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: I really enjoy Theology of the Body and its insights really help me to love my faith more. The one thing that I struggle with is how we will not be married in heaven. I understand that marriage is only a sign of what is to come, but it makes me sad that think that our families will not be the same in heaven. Will we still be together as a family in heaven? If you are able, could you explain this mystery a little more?

Q2: Can you talk about how God's command to Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply" relates to us today? This command came before they had sinned. Also, a church leader said that having children in Jewish families in the Old Testament was so vital and esteemed because they were expecting the Messiah (and thus that having babies after He was born was not as vital). How do children hold a special place in God's plan today? So many people are convinced that having less children is an essential part of the solution of climate change.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Theology of the Body Virtual Conference

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Why did God create a patriarchy for the human family and for the hierarchy of his church? Why is there no gender complementarity at the altar during mass or in the organization of the church? Can you shed some light on the sacrament of confession?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Access the 2020 Theology of the Body Virtual Conference with a Premium Pass!

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: Why did God create a patriarchy for the human family and for the hierarchy of his church?

Q2: Why is there no gender complementarity at the altar during mass in a visible way?

Q3: Why is there no gender complementarity in the organization of the church?

Q4: While I know that confession is an essential, powerful and healing sacrament, I have often dreaded going. I find that confessing my sins is uncomfortable and am always fearful that I will fail to confess everything. I do not think that I have fully perceived and experienced true nature of the sacrament. Can you shed some light on the sacrament of confession?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Heaven's Song

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How can I experience Christ through love making? Is the path of holiness a return to Eden?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: Since the marital embrace is a sign of the unity of the trinity and created by God, how can I experience Christ through love making? It can take years to even be happy with "God being in the room" while love making. I do experience the sacrificial love, goodness and power of the act but I know there is more. To invite God into it more and unlock deeper intimacy. Are there married saints who write on this?

Q2: Through JPII's perspective, is Christ saying that if we regain our humility and trust in God, we can, in a sense, go back to Eden and experience that true communion of persons? Maybe I'm romanticising it to be a return to the perfected image of God, instead of the best we can be in our broken image of God after The Fall. What are your thoughts and experience with this?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

What is your opinion on the negative impact popular music has on the way men treat women? Are women responsible for presenting themselves in a way that does not arouse lust? My husband refuses to be intimate with me because of my dedication to the faith. What should I do?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: Frist, I want to thank you for your podcast. It has helped me a lot in my life. I am currently finishing my last year of college studying psychology in Mexico and for me to graduate, I have to do a thesis. The topic I'm investigating is the impact popular music has on male college students to the way they see women – how listening to some types of music affects men in the objectification of women. I know Christopher is a big fan of music, so I wanted to hear your opinion on the negative impact popular music, especially rap and hip-hop genre, could have on men in the way they see and treat women.

Q2: I recently listened to Jason Evert interview Christopher West for the Love Life Conference. I had a question about something in the beginning when they spoke of jewels not being the cause of theft and the beauty of woman not being the cause of lust. I understand that, but is there some responsibility on the part of the woman to present herself in a wholesome way? I'm not saying we need to wear burlap sacks around but is there some sort of line that's crossed between wholesome beauty and something else? I remember a girl in highschool wanted to go to school in a t-shirt with no bra because she said, "It's my body. I'm not ashamed." Well that's not wrong; it's good not to be ashamed of our bodies, but we also need to respect others in how we present ourselves. I would appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

Q3: About seven years ago I had a radical reversion to our faith. I have fallen completely in love with our Lord and the beautiful faith that He left us. I just can't get enough of Theology of the Body. The problem is that only I feel this way. My husband has no interest in the beautiful teaching's of our faith and is quite hostile about TOB. He says I have changed in the way we're intimate together and perhaps I have because I have such profound reverence for the gift of the marital embrace. I love my husband very much and I long to be close to him, but he says that as long as I quote "love my faith more than him" then sex can't be what it used to be. He says that he is very sad and there is nothing to be done for it. He isn't open to counseling. He often expresses resentment that I love our Lord more than Him. I honestly just don't know what to do with this. I want to have a loving, healthy marriage but my husband has shut down nearly all intimacy.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How do I help my sister who feels she is pansexual and struggles with suicidal thoughts? Is it wrong to marvel at the beauty of someone's sexuality? Does sickness in the body relate to anything spiritually?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: I learned a few months ago that my younger sister has contemplated suicide. Today, I accidentally found a letter she wrote to our mom saying she believes she is pansexual. I feel like she's confusing the friendship love she has for her best friend who is a girl with romantic love. In her letter she used phrases like, "It's not the gender/sex that makes me attracted to someone, but who they are as a person," and other phrases that sound like things I've heard on the internet. I feel like she's choosing to put this label on herself because it's what she's being told to label herself as. She's only fourteen. I'm scared for her and don't know how to help her through this.

Q2: Thank you so much for entering into the pain of the human heart with everyone who God. places before youu on the podcast. I've been loving your podcasts because they've been teaching me just how much my creator loves me. It's also inpiring how receptive you are to each other's love! And now, the topic at hand: I used to have scrupals and I thought that thinking about sexuality was wrong. But more recently I've been wondering if maybe there is a time to marvel at the beauty of a person's sexuality. So my question is, is it always wrong to think about a person's sexuality? How do I marvel at the body's beauty?

Q3: Does sickness in the body relate to anything spiritually?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Theology of the Body I: Head & Heart Immersion Course (Online)

Professor of Rock - Neil Diamond

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.