Ask Christopher West

How do I understand the part of the Litany of Humility that says "from the desire of being loved, deliver me, O Jesus"? Aren't we made for love? How was your experience homeschooling your children?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: I recently came across the litany of humility and I'm wondering how to reconcile this line: "from the desire of being loved, deliver me O Jesus" with marriage. My understanding is that the love of God is sufficient; however, if marriage is a reflection of the love marriage we will have with God in heaven, shouldn't we desire our spouses to love us? Also we were created to love and be loved. Therefore, why should I pray not to desire love when that's precisely what I was created for.

Q2: How was your experience homeschooling? I'm very interested in this for my future family and my boyfriend had a great experience with homeschooling when he was younger.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

TOB Institute Virtual Conference en Español

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

How do I forgive my perpetually dysfunctional family? What do you think about the Latin Mass? How do I understand the part of the Litany of Humility that says "from the desire of being loved, deliver me, O Jesus"? Aren't we made for love?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: My question is about forgiveness. I live in a family with 5 adult kids and there are many dysfunctional patterns of expressing emotion and dealing with conflict. Many of my family members, myself included, have a difficult time forgiving. I know as Catholics, we are called to forgive the way Jesus forgave us; but I don't understand the difference between forgiveness and living in dysfunction. I feel that the dysfunction has to be solved before I can say, "I forgive you" and let things go; but that often leads to holding grudges and resentment, often for days on end. I don't know how to forgive while still addressing dysfunctional dynamics and not becoming a door mat.

Q2: I wanted to know your thoughts on the Traditional Latin mass? Do you believe it was necessary to change the mass in Vatican II? I believe so much of TOB aligns with the traditional Latin mass. I’m drawn to it and the reverence of it, what do you think and have you ever gone to the Latin mass regularly? Thank you for all you do!

Q3: I recently came across the Litany of Humility and I am wondering about how to reconcile this line “from the desire of being loved, deliver me, O Jesus” with marriage. My understanding is that the love of God is sufficient; however, if a marriage is a reflection of the marriage we will have with God in heaven (hopefully), then shouldn’t we desire our spouse to love us? Also, we were created to love and be loved; therefore, why should I pray to not desire love when that’s precisely what I was created for? Only God’s love?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

The Chosen TV Series

The Catholic Marriage Summit 2020

Love is Patient but I'm Not by Christopher West

Spirit of the Liturgy by Cardinal Ratzinger

TOB Institute Virtual Conference en Español

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

My wife works for Planned Parenthood; how do I talk to her about this? Is it possible to get too "into" books, movies, and music? How did the Fall happen if we already experienced the supreme love of God?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: My wife works for Planned Parenthood. I keep telling her to quit her job because it's the worst place on the planet to work. How do I handle this?

Q2: I've been a follower of this podcast and many of Christopher's talks for a while now, and one aspect I've appreciated is your appreciation for movies and songs, even ones that are pop culture or not seemingly religious at face value. I, too, find myself drawn into certain songs or movies, and feel deep emotions toward them. However, I have noticed that I can be almost too engrossed in a compelling book or movie, particularly series such as Harry Potter or The Hunger Games, in which I feel a connection with the characters and their story, and feel almost devastated when the series is over. I have to remind myself that these fantasy series aren't real. What insight do you have regarding my attachment to these stories?

Q3: Hello Christopher & Wendy! I'm reading "TOB for Beginners", but I'm very confused about something. You write, "Before sin, the human heart conformed totally to God's will," and "In the beginning, man and woman were infused with grace; they were drunk on God's wine." I don't understand how we could have distrusted God's love for us when it seems we already had "the cookie" in our hands. Hoping you can shed some light! Thank you immensely for your ministry.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Catholic Marriage Summit - June 11-13 - Featuring Christopher and Wendy West

VIrtual Eucharistic Conference - June 12-14 - Featuring Christopher West

TOB Spanish Virtual Conference - June 26-28 - Featuring Christopher West

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

Discover Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

Are humans fundamentally "not good"? My husband needs to be intimate to feel close, and I need to feel close to be intimate. How do we resolve this disparity in our marriage?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: Recently I attended a Lutheran Free service with my parents. Their pastor, a very scholarly man who knows his Bible well, mentioned 3-4 times in his sermon that after the fall God sees us as 'not good'. How can I explain the Truth (Catholic teaching) to him in love?

Q2: My husband often needs to BE intimate to feel close, where I need to FEEL close to be intimate. The way we express and receive our love is just different. But for me, I am on guard about "always to love never to use" almost to a fault. I'm hesitant to give myself until we FEEL close (and I know that would be ideal), but with young kids we just don't realistically always have the time or energy to reach that point emotionally, and so therefore seldom reach the ability to be intimate physically either.

How can I shift my mindset to be open to intimacy even when I may not FEEL it, knowing that it ultimately is a way I AM showing my husband love in the way he can receive it? I don't want to be afraid that the act is somehow "letting myself be used" just because I may not 100% emotionally FEEL it in the moment. (Worth noting, my husband is also very on guard to "never use" so it's not like he is demanding sex, it just is his love language. )

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

TOB Institute Courses - Including October's course centering on Mary

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

What is the difference between attraction and lust? My friend is considering using IVF to try to conceive. How can I help her? My son is going through marriage prep and has asked me for reading recommendations. What do you recommend?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Check out all the great content of our [online conference](tobvirtualconference.com).

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: I was recently reading a novel written from a Christian perspective with Christian characters. One of the characters mentions that his growing attraction for the girl "had only started with lust." This line was jarring to me and brought to my attention that many Christians have a mistaken idea that any attraction that is not immediately and obviously spousal must be sinful.

Q2: I'm writing because I found out my best friend (who is Catholic, mind you) is planning on turning to IVF after years of trying to conceive. She has had several miscarriages as well. What can I say to her that will encourage her that IVF is not the answer to the future full of hope that she is seeking?

Q3: My son is getting married in the fall. Both he and his fiance are Catholic. He recently asked me if I had any reading recommendations to supplement his marriage prep. I am looking at several of your books and looking for your guidance. I'm considering "Good News About Sex and Marriage" or "Theology of the Body for Beginners". Thoughts?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

TOB Virtual Conference - Premium passes are still available, also check our our offerings in Spanish.

Into the Deep Retreats

Catholic Marriage Summit

The Good News about Sex and Marriage

Books by Greg and Lisa Popcak

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

I want to practice the spiritual disciplines of the saints and mystics, but they get in the way of my being a joyful wife and mother. How do I achieve balance here? I take pride in working out, but how do I keep this from straying into vanity?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: For years, I have studied mystical theology and put what I have learned into practice, longing for Union with God. He is so good; I do not doubt that He offers this Union to us all! However, I have bumped into a brick wall. How does one distinguish between scrupulous puritanism and the renouncement of all created things for the love of God? I love God very much and want to love Him more, but when I attempt the bodily mortifications recommended by the Saints in books about Union, I feel less capable of being a joyful wife and mother, less connected to my family in the sharing of a meal or a game or some other fun activity; a beer with my husband, for example. The fruits of these endeavors make me more difficult to live with; not more saintly! I am certain God does not want this, but He does want Union--even more than I do. That's the good news! Is there a separate path to Union for the married than to deny oneself all pleasures but those found in prayer?

Q2: Could you offer any TOB perspective on working out? If I honestly look at my heart as a young husband when I workout - the cultural air I'm breathing has filled it with vanity and ego associated with the increase of my strength. But I do feel a deep good in working out. My mind is just polluted by the culture. How can we maintain a St Joseph heart, while also putting effort into stewarding the masculine body that God gave us?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

TOB Virtual Conference Premium Pass

TOB Virtual Conference in Spanish!

Jason Evert's Virtual Chastity Project Conference

Good News about Sex and Marriage

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

What does the church teach about organ donation? How do I remain faithful to Church teaching on contraception while dealing with sexually abused youth? How do I deal with an abusive and dismissive husband?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: I am finishing up a semester to be a certified Spiritual Director at St. Vincent Archabbey Seminary. What books should I read or courses should I take to integrate John Paul II's teaching as a spiritual director?

Q2: How do I help those with same-sex attraction to learn about the Theology of the Body?

Q3: What does the Church teach regarding organ donation and the donation of bodies for scientific research post-mortem?

Q4: What is your advice for avoiding the way of the Stoic?

Q5: I work with youth who live in situations where they face danger of sexual abuse. Contraception is often a topic at issue in these situations. How do I remain faithful to the teaching of the Church in these circumstances?

Q6: My husband says that I must have sex with him every 48 hours. Otherwise, he will fall into masturbation and mortal sin. He says it is my duty to prevent this. What do I do?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Theology of the Body Virtual Conference Premium Pass

At the Heart of the Gospel book

Word Made Flesh: A Companion to the Sunday Readings book

The Writings of Fr. Jacques Philippe

Anna Carter and Eden Invitation

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

I'm very saddened by the loss of the Eucharist in quarantine. What do I do? God created man (male and female) in his own image, but God is not biological. How does this work? How do I deal with deep feelings of rejection after divorce and annulment?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: My question is about quarantine and the Eucharist, and I am sure others can relate. I have recently been falling more in love with the Lord through the Eucharist, but I took it for granted that He would be there at Mass every Sunday, and I didn't take time out of my week to go to daily Mass, which I now regret. I ache deeply to receive Jesus sacramentally and I long for the physical closeness of receiving Him in the Eucharist. I realize that the ache is a good thing, in a way, but often find myself resenting the fact that I cannot now receive Communion, and I tend toward self pity in this, not prayer. How can I recognize the grace God is offering in this time of trial and pray into the ache it is bringing about in my heart?

Q2: So in Genesis 1:27, which I'm sure you're very familiar with, it says "So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them."

Q3: I am currently undergoing the divorce and annulment process. One of the largest reasons for things ending is that she just refused to have a physical relationship with me. After a lot of detailed conversations with priests and my counselor I can accept intellectually that I am not to blame for this, but I am really struggling with deep feelings of rejection and that there must be something wrong with me. Any advice?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

TOB Virtual Conference May 8-10, 2020

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

I have been waiting for an annulment of my previous marriage for years. Do you have any advice? Is it appropriate to say that for intersex people, God created them that way? Do you ever use the four temperaments to talk about personality and the relationships between people?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Check out the FREE TOB Virtual Conference May 8-10!

Q1: My husband divorced me a few years ago and I have been going through the petition for invalidity. This has been going on for years and I'm still waiting to hear the findings of the Tribunal. I always considered my vocation to be marriage and I am praying for peace to accept God's will. What advice could you give?

Q2: If God did not create individuals to be gay, but it is rather a result of the fall, then what about hermaphrodites? Is it appropriate to say that God did not necessarily "Create" them that way? But rather their condition is another result of man's sin?

Q3: I am fascinated by the four temperaments. Learning about them has greatly helped my self-awareness and relationships. Do you have a perspective on this? Could you discuss why it is especially important in marriage to understand your and your spouse’s temperament?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Free TOB Virtual Conference May 8-10

Is the Coronavirus Pandemic a Judgement from God? | Mary Healy

Introduction to Christianity | Pope Benedict XVI

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.

For a non-Catholic, what is "transubstantiation"? Is my "heart" the same thing as my soul? I'm about to have my sixth Caesarean section. My doctor wants me to undergo a tubal ligation. Is this licit?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: I'm a non-Catholic believer. Could you please explain the doctrine of transubstantiation, and why non-Catholics cannot receive the Eucharist?

Q2: Is my "heart" my soul?

Q3: My husband and I were introduced to NFP during our pre-marriage classes. It has helped us to grow in faith over the years. I am pregnant now with our fifth baby, and will have my fifth Caesarean section in November. My doctor asked me if I would like to do a tubal this time, as she strongly advises in her medical opinion that I should not become pregnant a sixth time. She even sugggested I talk with a priest to see if it would ever be permissible for medical reasons. Is it ever permissible to get your tubes tied or is it always a serious sin no matter what the reason?

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Resources mentioned this week:

Catechism of the Catholic Church

Scott Hahn's Conversion Story

Jeff Cavins' Conversion Story

TOB 1 Course Online

Register for the FREE Theology of the Body Virtual Conference May 8-10!

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.