Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life

A parent from Connecticut wants to know if it’s acceptable for her teen to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house. How should parents approach a conversation like this one? What do you do if your values are not the same as other parents'? The Dutch approach teen romance very differently than Americans do. Dr. Lisa explains the cross-cultural research on teens and sex. Reena asks how to move beyond an impasse with your kid and Dr. Lisa explains why there is value in having some tension with teens. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendation

Brugman, M., Caron, S. L., and Rademakers, J. (2010). Emerging adolescent sexuality: A comparison of American and Dutch college women’s experiences. International Journal of Sexual Health 22 (1), 32–46, p. 39.

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No one wants to be that nagging parent. Dr. Lisa explains how the trickiest transition in parenting might be when nagging no longer works with your teen. At these times, is bribing a good strategy? Dr. Lisa walks us through different approaches to motivating kids and how to respond when they reflexively say "no." Reena and Lisa discuss when it might make sense to bribe a teen to get better grades.

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What are the signs a teen is suffering from depression and needs help? Dr. Lisa explains what you need to watch for. Reena asks what parents should do if their teen refuses help, and how parents can bring up therapy without making a teen feel worse. Lisa explains that teens often worry that they are broken - a narrative that needs to be considered when offering help. Dr. Lisa explains how she found inspiration from an unexpected reality star, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and also mentions a major change for licensed clinicians that might make it easier to find the right therapist. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendation

PSYPACT is an interstate compact that allows registered psychologists to practice across state boundaries: https://psypact.site-ym.com/page/About

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How do you build confidence in kids? How do you lay the groundwork for better self-esteem? What age does confidence start to plummet in girls? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions, explain where self-esteem comes from, and cover how parents can help children feel good about themselves in this encore episode. 

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Ask Lisa is produced by: 

www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

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Three-time Olympian and mom of three, Lauren Regula joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to talk about what kids should really be getting out of athletics. How do you help kids make the most of their sports? Lauren explains why she doesn't put her kids in the most competitive sports leagues. She also shares the one question she asks her kids every night to help them grow in sports and life. 

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Additional resources: 

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Ask Lisa is produced by: 

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What’s the best way to help boost mental health in 2022? Dr. Lisa walks us through her five mental health resolutions for the new year. Reena asks how we can rethink mental wellness for ourselves and our families while continuing to navigate the pandemic. Some unexpected parenting inspiration comes from the words of Winston Churchill. 

Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendations

The Power of a Positive No, by William Ury

The 5-Minute Gratitude Journal: Give Thanks, Practice Positivity, Find Joy, by Sophia Godkin, PhD

Good Days Start With Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide To Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude: Gratitude Journal, by Pretty Simple Press

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This week we present an encore episode of one of our top performing shows. American singer Billi Eilish recently spoke about the devastating effects porn had on her when she was exposed at eleven. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can start a conversation about porn and why it’s so important to talk to your kids about it. Reena asks what’s the right age to have that talk. 

Articles:

Lisa's NYT article: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography

Shafia Zaloom's NYT article: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here's How to Talk About It

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As divorce numbers rise in the pandemic, we take a closer look at how divorce affects children. Dr. Lisa walks us through how children at different ages process their parents' separation. How can parents make the transition easier? Reena asks how do you make it work when you can’t stand your ex? Lisa details how couples who no longer want to be married can still work together as effective co-parents.

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What if your child is the one who is hurting other kids feelings at school? A concerned mom discovers that her daughter, who has been struggling socially, is pushing peers away by being too critical. She turns to Dr. Lisa for advice on how to get her middle school daughter to become more self-aware and tolerant. 

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How do you know if your child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? A parent writes in worried about her daughter’s compulsive behavior and anxiety around germs. Dr. Lisa describes OCD, how it takes hold, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do if they are concerned that their child might suffer from it. Reena asks about the power of rituals and what parents can do to help their kids manage anxiety effectively.

Dr. Lisa’s OCD Resource Recommendations:

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan

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