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Let's Upgrade Your ID: Let to the root of what’s running in the background — the belief, the fear, the childhood wiring, whatever it is — and we rewire it.  reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

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This week’s question:

Dear Mish,

I have been with my partner for a while, and while i love him, sex has become a complete chore. We still do it,  I feel bad turning him down, but I dread it every time. I feel like it was exciting the first maybe year we were together, but now it feels like something he always wants, but i am never in the mood. What are your thoughts? Is there any way to get the spark back? 

This one is for anyone who loves their partner… but the second they initiate sex you’re like umm no thank you

Because WHY does this happen?

In the beginning of a relationship, sex is fun. It’s exciting. It’s new. You can’t keep your hands off each other.

And then one day you wake up and you’re like… wait… when did this turn into something I dread?

In this episode, I’m breaking down why sex starts to feel like a chore in long-term relationships (especially for women), why men experience it completely differently, and how couples end up stuck in this weird cycle of pressure → guilt → resentment → obligation sex → even less desire.

We get into:

• why sex doesn’t usually stop because love is gone
• why women need to be mentally turned on, not just physically available
• why pressure is literally the biggest libido killer on the planet
• resentment + mental load (aka why it’s hard to want to sleep with someone you secretly feel annoyed at)
• why men take rejection way more personally than women realize
• why “just do it to keep the peace” is actually the WORST solution
• how to bring the spark back without making it weird, scheduled, or forced
• and why desire is basically like a cat… chase it and it disappears

If you’ve been feeling like something is wrong with you because you’re “never in the mood” you’re not broken. There’s usually a reason. And once you understand what’s actually going on, it becomes way easier to fix.

If this episode hits home, send it to your friend who’s always like “I love him but I could honestly go 6 months without sex” 💀

Let's Connect:

Let's Upgrade Your ID: Let to the root of what’s running in the background — the belief, the fear, the childhood wiring, whatever it is — and we rewire it.  reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

Instagram: @Mish_Blum Drop into my DMs or check m

Follow Michelle on Instagram @mish_Blum

Follow Michelle on Instagram @Mish_Blum

Send us Fan Mail

HouseKeeping:

Let's Upgrade Your ID: Let to the root of what’s running in the background — the belief, the fear, the childhood wiring, whatever it is — and we rewire it.  reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

Follow Michelle on Instagram @Mish_Blum

This week’s question:

“I know what I should be doing. I’ve read the books. I’ve listened to the podcasts. I know I should be journaling, meditating, working out, eating better… all of it. But when it comes time to actually do it, I don’t. I just scroll and tell myself tomorrow will be the day.”

I love this question because this it is such a familiar experience, especially in February which is the energetic equivalent of a Tuesday.

You’re not lazy.
You’re not unmotivated.

You’re just stuck in that loop of knowing what to do… and not doing it. Which is one of the most frustrating feelings ever.

Your brain loves the fantasy of changing your life.

New routine. Glow up. Hot girl summer. New relationship. New job. New you. But then the second you actually have to take the action, it feels uncomfortable 

The gym feels annoying.
Dating feels exhausting.
Starting the business feels overwhelming.
Raising your prices makes you want to throw up.

And your nervous system is like “Wait. This doesn’t feel safe.”

So instead of doing the thing, you go right back into the comforting little coping mechanism of:

“I’ll start Monday.”
“I’ll start next month.”
“I’ll start when life calms down.”

The worst part is it sounds like you’re being strategic. But every time you tell yourself you’re going to do something… and then you don’t…

You’re teaching your brain

I can’t trust myself.

And that is why you don’t feel confident. Because confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have. Confidence is literally built from self-trust. 

You don’t have a discipline problem. You have an identity problem. 

You’re not going to rise to your goals. You’re going to fall to your identity.

Meaning: you can want the dream life all you want, but if you don’t actually believe you’re the type of person who can have it?

You’ll keep sabotaging it.

So what do you do? You stop trying to force massive change overnight. And you start building evidence.

Start SMALL

Make the promise so easy you can’t mess it up. Because every time you do, you’re teaching your brain: “Wait… maybe I am the kind of person who follows through.”

That’s how the identity changes, that’s how the habits stick.

That’s how the results finally start to show up, not because you suddenly became disciplined, because you became someone who trusts themselves

If you’re listening to this like “ok  I get it but I still can’t stop doing this”

That’s what I help people with.

Because once you understand why your brain is doing what it’s doing you stop fighting yourself, and everything gets easier.

If you loved this episode, send it to your friend who keeps “starting Monday.”

Let's Connect:

Let's Upgrade Your ID: Let to the root of what’s running in the background — the belief, the fear, the childhood wiring, whatever it is — and we rewire it.  reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

Instagram: @Mish_Blum Drop into my DMs or check my stories for the questio

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NYT Podcast The Daily put out an episode a few days ago titled: Marriage and Sex in the Age of Ozempic. 

A bunch of you sent me this episode of me to check out. I am gonna be honest, never have I felt a podcast episode had so much cross over in the venn diagram of things I like to talk about. (You can check out the episode here: The Daily)

The episode interviewed a couple whose relationship dynamic was totally turned upside down when one of them lost a significant amount of weight on Ozempic. While Rachael Abrams and guest Lisa Miller did a great job highlighting the unforeseen impact these drugs are having on romantic relationships, the couple still seemed at a loss to how they got here, and if they could get their spark back. 

While I might not have all the answers, I felt compelled to share a perspective that I hope reaches this couple, and anyone else who might find it helpful. 

*I also may or may not have harassed my one friend from high school who works at NYT to try to try to get this episode in the couple's hands, so I hope this reaches them <3 

As always, send me your questions at [email protected] 

If you’re curious what that looks like in your own life, I take on a few private clients at a time reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

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Follow Me on Instagram @Mish_Blum

This is literally the best thing I have learned in my life. It's the formula I use with my clients to achieve things they never thought possible. 

We all have a vision for what we want our lives to look like, how we want to show up, how we want to be seen, spend our time. But for many people, there is a disconnect between the life we are living and the life we want. 

You might want to be physically fit, but don't go to the gym

You might want to attract an amazing partner, but keep chasing the wrong person

You might want to lose weight, but you still don't eat well

You might want to start the business, but you don't take action 

You might want to show up online more, but you don't post

We all have our version of the frustration we feel when our actions don't match the vision we have for ourselves. The Reason? We try to make change at the wrong level. It's not about taking action, it is about rewiring the beliefs that prevent you from taking action.

You aren't lazy

You aren't broken

You just weren't taught how  

When you upgrade what your brain is saying in the background, your feelings shift, the actions stop feeling like punishment, and over time it hardwires into your identity. That’s the level where change sticks.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the pyramid framework I use to explain this exact process—why most people keep failing, and how to flip the script so change feels natural instead of forced.

This isn’t about “trying harder.” It’s about finally understanding the psychology of transformation. Once you see it, you’ll never approach change the same way again.

If you’re curious what that looks like in your own life, I take on a few private clients at a time reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

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I talk to SO many people who feel stuck in their own lives. Some people do something about it, most people don't. And honestly, I don't blame them, because no one tells you what that process actually looks like- a dumpster fire. 

In order to emerge a Phoenix, life will burn to the ground anything that no longer is aligned with you. But, if you know what to expect, and how to manage your nervous system, everything you want is on the other side of the chaos. 

The past two years I have been a case study for this process. One year for my personal life, and one year for my professional life. This is everything that happened (at least what I can legally say lol), how it happened, and what to expect if you are feeling stuck in your own life.

I hope this resonates with you. Share this episode with a friend, and make sure you're following me on insta so we can be friendsss 

If you’re curious what that looks like in your own life, I take on a few private clients at a time reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

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Do I come off like a bitch?

As a female with some level of success, it is a wright of passage for a series of people (usually guys) to at some point refer to you as a bitch. 

For me, I would always scoff at the idea, because I am a former people pleaser, CANCER JULY BABY. How can a (refined) but (naturally) overly sensitive CANCER SUN SIGN seriously be mistaken for a bitch?

It's literally impossible

Unless you spent years building a "shell" to protect yourself and you didn't realize it until a few days ago when a friend called you out, and then you saw it mirrored IRL in the Alex Cooper documentary. (thanks universe) 

Anyway, I am not a bitch (and you know this if you know me personally), but if you don't know me, I learned I may come off at the very least perhaps, "unapproachable". But it's not because I am, it's because of everything I realized this week that I word vomited to you in this episode. 

So if you have ever felt misunderstood, or you had to prove yourself, or you felt like you needed to control the way people see you, this is for you. I hope it helps. 

Let me know if this resonates — DM me on IG @Mish_Blum  And if you’ve got a friend who’s always being called “intimidating” (🙄), send this to her.

If you’re curious what that looks like in your own life, I take on a few private clients at a time reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

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You know that moment where you put on the bathing suit, look in the mirror, and immediately start mentally negotiating with yourself like: “Okay, I just need to be really good for the next four weeks, and then I’ll finally feel okay in my body again”?
This episode is for that moment.

This week, we’re dismantling the toxic summer body conversation—the one that convinces you to crash diet, restrict, spiral, and somehow end up exactly where you started… again. I’m not giving you body positivity pep talk, it's not that simple.

Here’s what I am giving you:

• Why the way you talk to yourself rewires how others perceive you
• How to shift your identity so your habits finally stick
• The “100 Person Test” I use to help clients break body shame thoughts on the spot

If you're in the middle of a summer shame spiral, stop scrolling, stop Googling “how to lose weight fast,” and start here. Let’s change the conversation you’re having with yourself so you can change the way you show up in the world—bathing suit and all.

If you’re curious what that looks like in your own life, I take on a few private clients at a time reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

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Before we get into the episode, follow me on insta so we can stay in touch  @Mish_Blum

Okay… so this episode starts with a little bit of a life update.
 There’s something major has been going on behind the scenes with my business that I legally can’t talk about—but for a while it paralyzed me. 

 I had so many "what ifs" running through my brain, and I was scared I was gonna lose everything—my business, my money, my stability, my sanity.
Until someone on my team who noticed I was losing my mind said to me:
“Ok, Michelle, you’re on a need-to-know basis. If you don’t need to know, we’re not telling you.”
And that changed everything.

Nothing about the situation changed. It’s still unfolding.
 But my perception of it did.
And that’s what this episode is really about—how fear runs the show when we don’t realize it’s just a projection, not a fact.

I break down:

• Why fear isn’t logical—it’s a leftover pattern from your childhood
• How fears like failure, abandonment, being seen, or not being enough show up in your adult life (yes, even in your job and dating life)
• Why your nervous system will literally defend your fear like it’s your identity
• And how to start rewiring those beliefs so fear stops making your life smaller than it’s meant to be

My intention with this episode is simple:
 To show you that fear isn’t real. But your dreams are.
 Let’s stop letting old programming run your new life.

If this hits, DM me or share the episode and tag me—I love knowing what resonates.
 

If you’re curious what that looks like in your own life, I take on a few private clients at a time reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

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Before we get into the episode, let's be besties! Follow me on insta, and let me know if you're a snookie, jwow, angelina, deena or sammy  @Mish_Blum

We need to talk about feminine energy—and not the outdated, bubble-bath-and-flower-crown version. I’m talking about the real stuff: the magnetism, the chaos, the confidence, and the mess that happens when it’s out of balance.

And who better to walk us through it than the icons of emotional expression, self-sabotage, and glow-ups themselves—the Jersey Shore girls?

In this episode, we’re breaking down:

• Why Snooki might actually be the most energetically balanced queen of the cast
• How JWoww’s tough-girl act is all masculine shield, no softness
• Why Sammi wasn’t just “in love”—she was stuck in wounded feminine patterns
• How Deena is all heart, no backbone (and why we love her anyway)
• And what Angelina could be… if she ever decided to heal instead of spiral

But this isn’t just a nostalgic character roast (although… you’re welcome). This is a mirror. We’re using these archetypes to reflect back where you might be operating from wounded energy without even realizing it—and how to shift into your soft, powerful, magnetic self without losing your edge.

If you’ve ever:

• Felt “too much” or “not enough” in relationships
• Struggled to balance being strong with being soft
• Got stuck in cycles of overgiving, overthinking, or overreacting
• Been told you’re “intimidating,” “clingy,” or “just dramatic”

…then this episode is for you.

Let’s give feminine and masculine energy the modern-day PR makeover it deserves—one GTL moment at a time.

Let me know what you think on instagram at  @Mish_Blum

If you’re curious what that looks like in your own life, I take on a few private clients at a time reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

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Wanna Work Together? Click here for a 1:1 Call that Will Change Your Life 

Now, let's get into the episode... 

If you’ve ever thought, I just need more willpower, this episode is going to blow your mind. The truth is… willpower isn’t real—at least not in the way you think. If you feel like you’re constantly fighting yourself to stay on track with your goals (whether it’s food, fitness, productivity, or boundaries), it’s NOT because you lack willpower. It’s because you’re relying on the wrong strategy.

If you’re curious what that looks like in your own life, I take on a few private clients at a time reserve a personal 1:1 coaching session with me here

Want to Make sure you crush your weight loss and nutrition goals?
Click here to get your 1:1 40 min personalized strategy session at Nutrish Mish 

Follow Michelle on Instagram @Mish_Blum