Assisted Living Network Podcast

You probably haven’t even considered putting mom or dad into a home. You just got to a point where it was harder than you thought and you didn't have the time, the skills or maybe the heart. You weren't designed to be that caregiver. You needed that help and you know they did too. In your heart, you know it's the right thing, When it comes to a home, it's not just their physical need, it's their emotional needs, their spiritual need.

A lot of older people have gotten to the point where they're not social anymore. Sitting and watching TV isn't very social for you or me. It's certainly not for them. But maybe there's games that can be played, puzzles that can be put together, or playing cards. Maybe it's artwork or crafts. Maybe it's dancing. When was the last time you saw your parents dance? They even had some really cool dances that they did.

Bring some music that would have been from when they were younger. Ask them did they ever go to a speakeasy or an after hours club? Some of the stories that will come out will tickle their imagination and bring life into their eyes and conversation. And the biggest one, just sit and talk. Ask them, “where did you travel? Where did you meet your spouse? Tell me about your kids.” If you start thinking about those things differently, you may just find that your parent is in the home you always dreamed of.

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Learn from other people's success. Learn from other people's mistakes. Learn from other people's experience who's actually doing it, not just talking about it.  The most expensive lesson is the expense of doing it ourselves, getting to the end and saying, “I wish I knew that before I started.” You could save yourself a lot of money, but if you save yourself weeks or months or years. Saving time is even more valuable than saving money.

When you have a business you typically have standard operating procedures, SOPs. In Residential Assisted Living, we call those policies and procedures. It covers everything from bringing somebody into the home,  medication management, menus, scheduling of the caregivers, record keeping and everything in between. Even checking a resident out of the home.

Lastly, you have to have backup plans. So that when something doesn't go right what's the backup plan? What do we do in every situation? If this doesn't work, then this is what we do next. How are we going to do this if we can't get it done that way? If you have systems in place and you have the backup redundancy, you can pretty much handle anything that comes your way in Residential Assisted Living or virtually anything that you do.

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20 years ago when we first heard about assisted living, we all heard about the silver tsunami that was coming.They were sharing it from the business perspective but there was nobody there to show how it's done. But when it comes to real estate, it's just bricks and sticks. You can fix it,  flip it, buy it, hold it and rent it. But it's kind of cold and meaningless.

You have to take care of business, but you also have to have a heart. We're taking care of people, but it's okay to make money. Making money is why we do it, but we can choose to do it in a way where we can make money and help people. The more money you make, the more you can give and it flows through and the faster it comes.

All of us have parents or people who are older within our family that somebody is going to need to take care of. So you can start your own home and they can move in for free. Or you can charge them money or whatever it is that they can afford. You want to have a little bit of control over the caregivers and managers, but not be the caregiver or manager. By owning the residential assisted living home, you can have that control, you can help them do good and do well. It is truly the best of both worlds. Make money and help others.

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You're going to work at something, you're going to get good at something, the question is what. And what are you willing to do in order to get the return that you say that you want?

If you could create a business where you're making all the money you need to pay your bills, well then you can do whatever you want with the rest of your time. Right now a lot of you are working 60 or 80 hours a week doing a job that you hate. And you're working for somebody else. 10,000 hours is what they say it takes to become successful, to become an expert. What are you going to invest the next 10,000 hours in?

If you have just one home, not only would it provide the income for you so you are financially free. But now when mom or dad need that help or an aunt or an uncle need that help, it's not a burden on the whole family. And if they or you have long-term care insurance, you can now bill the insurance company for that longterm care.

I guarantee you're going to get involved in assisted living one way or the other. The choice is yours right now, but it's up to you If you want to get started.

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There are 3 main signs that it is time to move to assisted living.

Number one is that there there was an event, maybe they fell and the doctors say they could fall again and if they do, who's going to be there in the home to see it and pick them up or bring them in or call 911.

Mobility issues are there more activities that they can't do? I mean really slowing down to the point where they need a cane, a walker or even a wheelchair.

The second sign is that they're lonely. They're at home, alone, and they're not engaged anymore. If they're all alone at home, what's going to stimulate them? They need to be engaged and just need to do something where they're part of a community. But if they're quieter, they're staying in, they don't leave the house anymore. That turns into the social constriction, and isolation.

Third one is, are they meeting their own needs when it comes to medication, are they forgetting to take it or taking too much? Food, they forget to eat, or they eat and forgot they eat and eat again. And taking care of themselves, they aren’t bathing or washing their clothes. Those kinds of personal functions are what we call activities of daily living. When they start to need help with those things, well you know that it's getting close to time.

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Staying active is incredibly important. If you just simply lie on the couch things are gonna slow down. They can still do something, but maybe it's volunteer. Maybe it's where they're passing on their wisdom or helping somebody else reach their goals. They're at the point in life where they're giving back, not taking from. And frankly there's no reason to have given up or be physically incapable of taking care of yourself unless there is a true major medical condition.

In our homes when somebody moves in, we try to keep them active, exercise, senior yoga, music, pet therapy and so on. You need to stay active physically and mentally. What you're looking for is that community, the other people that are around them. Can the mom or dad, or the person who's looking to move into your home, relate to the other residents in that home. And if they used to do something or want to do something, you can bring that activity in.

When you talk to somebody that has different ideas and they share what they believe and you share what you believe and you have that interaction and exchange of ideas. That is empowering, it's growing It gives you power, juice and energy. Seniors need that too.

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You're going to have the conversation with the parents about moving into assisted living and if you really focus on what's good for them it’s good for you. Many times older relatives will sell their house and move after all of the kids are out of the house. They want to move to a warmer environment and retire. Some do want to do it and plan for it. They may go visit for a few weeks during the winter. They can get comfortable with the fact that there's a place they can go. For them, this may be the right thing.

It may be time to hire somebody or move mom and dad into assisted living. That transition can be smoother if somebody comes in to help in the home, but that's more expensive. Or they move into a home with this small group of seniors.

The closer it is to you the more you can visit. Many times that relationship gets deeper and closer because they're making the time and the effort to go see them and spend time. Those caregivers are trained and it allows you to be the son, the daughter, the granddaughter, the grandson. It allows you to play the part that you were designed to play. Whether it's in your own home or in that facility it’s good for them and for you.

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It's important to have the conversation with your parents when it's time to move into assisted living. It’s going to be very awkward and feel uncomfortable and a lot like the roles have reversed. At some point, they may need assisted living. Let me show you the conversation that you need to have.

That adult has been independent and they're not gonna ask you for help. Many times a senior, when they're younger and not as in need, transitions better into senior housing. That's more of an independent living situation where they're in their own townhome or apartment but they also have access to a cafeteria and group activities. Most seniors would rather stay in their own home. They'd rather have their own independence.

One good way to transition is to have them volunteer at a home. They can go in and play cards, make a puzzle, or read to those people. They become friends with the residents, and then when it comes time to move into the home it's not as foreign to them. Another way is that you sometimes need a break. You bring somebody into the home on a respite, from a couple of days to a week, and if they have a good experience, that later transition could be natural  At some point something has to be done and that decision made. So you really do need to have that conversation.

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There's a crisis out there. And there is the opportunity to help, to be a part of something big and important. The question is, are you going to be a part of the solution or part of those who complain about it and do nothing?

One of the saddest things In our society today is that more than half of people polled feel lonely. We look at our phones and those things that take us away from talking to each other. There's a lot of seniors who would just love to have somebody stop by and say hello. It really doesn't take much. If you're sitting at home watching golf, why not go sit with them and watch golf? Then ask them a question, did you ever play golf? What kind of clubs did you use? Before you know it, you're going to find out about wooden clubs and how they used to play with just three clubs, and that was it, and they played the whole round with three clubs and a ball.

Have those conversations take that time. The greatest generation, the silent generation is needing your help by you being a part of the solution. Volunteering your time is one way. Starting a residential assisted living home with excellent care is another. It’s totally up to you, but you can do both.

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We're losing our seniors one senior at a time, and I don't just mean physically, but their history, what's in their mind, their head, their thoughts, and their heart. Grandma's still here, but some day she won't be. I wonder how many of their kids or grandkids have even heard their stories, They're going to say, what about Grandpa? Where was he? What did he do? Who was he? And there’s not going to be anybody there to tell them that story.

One of the things we do in assisted living is we record that history, It could be on audio or video. We have those conversations with those seniors. To have them explain where they were. How did they meet their spouse? What languages do they speak? Where do they go on missions? Imagine talking to somebody of that age where you can have the conversation about what were you doing and thinking, what happened during the Great Depression, what was going on in the street and in the home? That history is being lost, because once their gone it’s also gone. But being able to record it and preserve it and give it to the kids. It can be life changing and valuable for them.

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