Back from the Borderline

People with BPD (EUPD) often have intense emotions and impulsive behaviors. If you identify with BPD or love someone who does, you likely have first hand experience with the extreme highs and lows of what is known as the "BPD relationship cycle." The emotional dysregulation and abandonment fears experienced by people with BPD traits can cause us to perceive unrelated cues as "signs" that our partner is becoming disinterested. These paranoid thoughts often cause an extremely chaotic "push and pull" scenario that leaves both the person with BPD and their partner feeling hurt, confused and helpless. People with BPD traits can be incredibly compassionate and nurturing partners and are fully capable of maintaining long and fulfilling romantic relationships. In this episode, you'll develop a deeper understanding of some of the commonly repeated cycles and triggers that may be keeping you stuck and feeling like finding love is impossible.

​​💡 Questions answered in this episode:

■ Loving someone with BPD (understanding why it can feel so difficult to do sometimes)

■ How BPD traits affect romantic relationships

■ How to support a partner with BPD (tips for dating someone with BPD)

■ What is a BPD relationship cycle?

■ The 6 stages of a borderline personality disorder relationship

■ Understanding the different types of intimacy (experiential, emotional, intellectual, sexual)

■ Understanding Abandonment Issues and BPD

■ How to more deeply understand behavior that presents as "emotional manipulation" and how it can stem from past abuse

■ BPD and lying (understanding the connection to rejection sensitivity)

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you recover from BPD? And if so, how long does it take and what does it look like? Chances are if you have likely typed these exact questions into Google at some point. On this episode of the podcast, I sit down with Toronto-based music artist, aspiring therapist and bad ass mental health advocate Melanie Goldman. After being formally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder over ten years ago, Melanie has learned a thing or two about the reality of BPD recovery. During our conversation, she holds nothing back. If you've ever felt like you could never hope to live a "normal" life with BPD traits, this episode will change your mind for good. By the time you finish listening, you'll have wealth of resources and knowledge you can use to kickstart your own recovery journey.

**Note: This is part TWO of my conversation with bad ass BPD recovery queen Melanie Goldman. For the best experience and to hear the full context of this interview, I recommend going back and listening to part one first (E10.)**

💡 Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

■ The world of BPD Reddit (How going down these toxic worm holes is sabotaging your recovery

■ The perfect “BPD morning routine” hacks for better emotional regulation 

■ How people with BPD struggle with unhealthy “parasocial” relationships 

■ How to overcome “approval addiction”

■ Does social media do more harm than good for people with BPD traits? 

■ The importance of a social media detox and how to approach it  

■ What is radical acceptance, how to practice it and the part it plays in BPD and EUPD recovery

■ BPD and relationships: navigating the ups and downs

■ How loved ones can help support someone with borderline personality disorder

■ How inner child work can help reconnect us to what used to bring us joy 

■ How to process trauma and deeply connect to our feelings 

■ How improving your critical thinking skills can help you stop BPD splitting behaviors once and for all  

📝Recommended and mentioned recourses:

Netflix Documentary | The Social Dilemma

YouTube Video | Releasing Emotional Pain - Tapping with Brad Yates

YouTube Video | Does Shaking Heal Trauma?

Book | The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk 

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you recover from BPD? And if so, how long does it take and what does it look like? Chances are if you have likely typed these exact questions into Google at some point. On this episode of the podcast, I sit down with Toronto-based music artist, aspiring therapist and bad ass mental health advocate Melanie Goldman. After being formally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder over ten years ago, Melanie has learned a thing or two about the reality of BPD recovery. During our conversation, she holds nothing back. If you've ever felt like you could never hope to live a "normal" life with BPD traits, this episode will change your mind for good. By the time you finish listening, you'll have wealth of resources and knowledge you can use to kickstart your own recovery journey.

💡 Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

■ What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (How does DBT help treat BPD?)

■ How negative feedback loops keep us stuck (how BPD affects the brain)

■ What does “high functioning BPD” look like?

■ Is BPD (EUPD) a spectrum disorder? (How everyone with BPD traits will display them in their own unique way)

■ Should you tell someone you have BPD? (How to navigate these intensely intimate conversations with partners and loved ones)

■ What is negative self-talk and how to stop it (dealing with our “BPD monster”)

■ Managing BPD with mindfulness meditation 

■ Dealing with the complex and confusing feelings of both sexual aversion and sexual impulsivity that are common in BPD

■ Maintaining friendships and navigating social anxiety during BPD recovery

Connect with Melanie on IG @mindovermelanie

📝Recommended and mentioned resources:

Book | "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" by Jerold J. Kreisman & Hal Straus

Book | "Unf*ck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life" by Gary Bishop John

Book "Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir" by Marsha Linehan

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can emotional and physical abuse at the hands of "narcissistic" parents who lack any sense of boundaries trigger the development of BPD traits? In this episode, I'm joined by my guest Kabir Khurana, a 21-year-old British-Indian philosophy student. This episode is perfect for anyone who is very early in their BPD recovery journey and is attempting to unravel the harmful impact of toxic family dynamics in early childhood.

Questions answered and topics explored in this episode:

■ Gender identity and sexual orientation and BPD (Can BPD affect sexuality?)

■ Can teens have BPD?

■ Setting boundaries with toxic parents (is "parentification" abuse?)

■ Can "narcissistic abuse" cause BPD?

■ Can you recover from BPD? (What "recovery" means to Kabir)

■ What is an "FP" in BPD (Kabir's perspective on the "favorite person" relationship)

📝 Recommended resources:

■ Article: Sexual Orientation and Relationship Choice in Borderline Personality Disorder by D. Bradford Reich, M.D. and Mary C. Zanarini, Ed.D.

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s episode, we reflect on Darth Vader as a character and how his storyline and portrays classic BPD traits. Psychiatrists Eric Bui and Rachel Rodgers argued that the Star Wars character Anakin Skywalker is a useful example for explaining borderline personality disorder to medical students, hoping their findings would raise awareness of the disorder. 

💡 Questions answered in this episode:

■ Why some psychiatrists consider Darth Vader a useful example for explaining BPD

■ A breakdown of Anakin Skywalker’s BPD symptoms (impulsivity, anger management issues, idealizing / devaluing splitting behaviors, dissociative episodes, emotional repression, paranoia /intrusive thoughts, and identity disturbance) 

■ The creation and development of the character and the portrayal of the "tragic her" archetype

📝Recommended resources:

Article: The Psychological Side of the Force by Abhik Deb

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s easy to slap all people who identify with borderline personality disorder with labels like “toxic” and “abusive.” One of the most frequently searched questions in Google is, “can people with BPD love?” In this episode, I sit down with my friend Kim, as we discuss the harmful impact of these stigmatized (and false) blanket statements about people living with borderline personality disorder and how she has been able to maintain a stable and healthy relationship while navigating her BPD (EUPD) recovery journey.

💡 Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

■ Holding down a job while living with BPD (Can people with BPD work?)

■ How to cope with feelings of body dysmorphia

■ Kim’s experience with obsessive compulsive behaviors like skin picking

■ Healing from childhood emotional neglect (Can emotional abuse cause BPD?)

■ Understanding abandonment issues and fear of abandonment in BPD

■ What BPD recovery looks like for Kim and how she gives herself “permission to be human”

■ Healing from childhood sexual abuse

■ Can use of weed help BPD or make things worse?

■ Kim’s advice on how people with BPD can learn to have healthy relationships

■ The connection between BPD and codependency

■ The importance of identifying and living by your own set of morals and values to develop a sense of self and identity in BPD recovery

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Navigating intimacy and relationships can be incredibly painful for someone with BPD (EUPD) traits. In this episode of the podcast, I sat down with artist, writer Courtney Cook to discuss all things sex, self-sabotage, toxic relationships and drama addition. This episode will speak to you and fill you with hope if you’ve struggled to find a grounded connection to your own sexuality and find yourself “bored” in calm or safe relationships as you navigate recovery from borderline personality disorder.

This is PART TWO of my interview with Courtney. For the best experience and to gain the full context of our conversation, go back and listen to episode five first. (Part one is titled “Recovering from BPD after psychiatric hospitalization: stigma, shame, and self-hatred."

Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

■ How people with BPD traits often use sex and intimacy as a form of self-harm and validation

■ Why it feels like BPD relationships can never work 

■ How to begin to know, understand and communicate your sexual needs

■ How a fear of being alone can cause people with BPD to stay in abusive, toxic or stale relationships 

■ How to stop feeling worthless through compassion and inner child work

■ The impact early puberty and being sexualized at an early age has on BPD trait development

■ What is the middle path and how can it help feelings of boredom and restlessness in BPD

■ What is self-soothing? (And how self-soothing techniques can help splitting in BPD)

■ What is wise mind and how can this DBT skill help people who identify with BPD handle intrusive and impulsive thoughts?

■ How social media and meme accounts can negatively affect mental health outcomes for people with BPD traits

■ Understanding dissociation in BPD and the importance of learning to reconnect deeply to your feelings 

■ How to practice self-compassion in BPD recovery

Learn more about Courtney and her work by visiting her website at https://courtneycook.me/.

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is it like to spent time at an inpatient treatment facility for borderline personality disorder? In this episode, I sit down with author and artist Courtney Cook to discuss her BPD recovery journey so far after spending her teen years as a "frequent flier of the psychiatric hospitals of the Chicago area.” If you consider yourself a highly sensitive and creative person who always has felt like their intense emotions were “too much,” Courtney’s story will inspire you and fill you with hope. 

Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

■ Experiencing chronic feelings of emptiness, regardless of an “idyllic” childhood upbringing

■ Growing up as a highly sensitive person (HSP) with intense emotions

■ How BPD traits can make it more difficult to make and maintain friendships

■ Do you have BPD or are you just a teenager? (Can teens actually have BPD?)

■ How Courtney finally came to get her formal BPD diagnosis at age 23

■ What medication do people with BPD take? (Courtney’s experience with anti-depressants and antipsychotics)

■ Can you have BPD and OCD? (Exploring Courtney’s additional struggles with obsessive compulsive behaviors, body dysmorphia, skin picking, and trichotillomania)

■ Exploring the stigma and demonization of people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

■ How BPD has affected Courtney’s relationships (and how she navigates feeling “too much” or “crazy”)

Learn more about Courtney and her work by visiting her website at https://courtneycook.me/.

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Many individuals with symptoms of mental health disorders engage in self-harming behaviors, including physical self-mutilation and a lesser-known behavior called "sex as self-harm." In this episode, we dive deep into the link between mental health and intimacy, exploring why people engage in self-harming behaviors and how they impact relationships. We discuss sexual impulsivity, promiscuity, and childhood sexual abuse, as well as the importance of self-love in recovery. We also examine the role that attachment trauma plays in the development of self-harming sexual behaviors across various mental health disorder labels. Join us as we unpack this complex and often misunderstood topic.

Topics Covered:

• What is "sex as self-harm," and why is it important to talk about?

• The link between mental health disorders and self-harming behaviors

• How childhood sexual abuse and early sexual exposure can contribute to self-harming sexual behaviors

• Understanding sexual impulsivity, preoccupation, and promiscuity

• The impact of "high risk" sexual behaviors on mental health

• Cultivating self-love in recovery

• The core issues of sex and intimacy: impulsivity and victimization

• The connection between drinking and impulsive sexual behaviors

• How sex as self-harm can be a mask for self-hatred

• The role of attachment trauma in the development of self-harming sexual behaviors

Join me as we shed light on this important topic and offer insights into how to begin healing from the pain and trauma of self-harming sexual behaviors.

Resources mentioned: Sexual Behavior in Borderline Personality by Randy A. Sansone and Lori A. Sansone

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is PART THREE of my three-part series on splitting. To have the best experience, go back and listen to episodes one and two first. ❤️

If you identify with symptoms of borderline personality disorder (also known as BPD or EUPD), it’s likely you’ve heard of “splitting.” Splitting is a defense mechanism that causes a person to view something or someone in ‘black and white’ terms (i.e., “all good” or “all bad.) If you identify with BPD, it’s likely you’re not conscious of when you’re splitting or why it happens. It’s a very painful and isolating experience. By listening to this series, you can finally become aware of these self-sabotaging patterns and become better connected to yourself and those around you.

Questions answered and topics explored in this series:

■ What is splitting in BPD? (What exactly is a BPD “split”)

■ What is the meaning of splitting?

■ Examples of splitting behavior in BPD

■ Do people with BPD split on themselves as well as others?

■ Signs and symptoms of splitting in people who identify with BPD

■ What does splitting in BPD actually feel like?

■ How to cope with BPD splitting behaviors

■ How to tell when you’re splitting

■ How long do BPD splitting episodes last?

■ How to finally stop BPD splitting behaviors

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.