Back from the Borderline

In this mini bonus episode, I answer a voicemail question from listener Kelly, who asks how to move forward to the next phase of her recovery journey. Together, we explore what it means to deepen your healing, letting go of old patterns and stepping into new growth. To wrap up, I’m also giving you a sneak peek of a premium episode where I dive into the nuanced topic of using sex as a form of self-harm—a powerful exploration of how unhealed wounds can shape our relationship with intimacy.

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, I dive into the complex and often unspoken ways that those of us with a history of complex trauma may turn to sex and intimacy as coping mechanisms—behaviors that, rather than healing, can lead to self-abandonment and re-traumatization. Through extensive research, I explore how compulsive sexual behavior and hyper-sexuality can emerge as responses to unprocessed trauma, often serving as temporary escapes that ultimately deepen feelings of disconnection. We’ll examine the nuances of what it means to use sex as a form of self-harm, from sexual masochism to other forms of intimacy that may feel more like self-sabotage than self-care. This episode also addresses the risks of engaging in sex work, such as sugar dating, OnlyFans, or prostitution, particularly for those who haven’t had the chance to fully process and heal from past trauma. By bringing these challenging topics to light, my hope is to encourage a more compassionate understanding of how trauma can impact our relationship with intimacy and to offer insights on recognizing and breaking free from cycles that may be keeping us disconnected from ourselves. Join me for an honest conversation that aims to shed light on the intersection of trauma, intimacy, and self-discovery.

Click here to check out the full Contrapoints video I played in the beginning of this episode, you can do so. (It's worth it, trust me.)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert on love, intimacy, and relationships, to discuss what it truly means to reconnect with our erotic selves and find grounding in genuine pleasure—whether we’re partnered or not. Together, we explore how cultural expectations, societal pressures, and internalized “scripts” can disconnect us from our own desires, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and even resentful toward intimacy. If you’ve ever felt a sense of “sexual blockage” or wondered if you were somehow disconnected from your erotic nature, this conversation is for you. Dr. Solomon and I discuss the experience of performing sexuality instead of enjoying it, the frustration of feeling like intimacy is something we do for others rather than for ourselves, and the harmful impact of constantly putting our own needs last.

We also touch on topics that reveal just how pervasive these struggles are:

• Dissociating during sex and the emotional distance it creates
• The pressure to “perform” sexually as a means of attracting or keeping a partner
• Dr. Solomon’s perspective on “the OnlyFans phenomenon” and the idea of “sex as self-harm”
• The impact of hardcore pornography on sites like PornHub, reinforcing damaging gendered expectations in intimate relationships

Whether you’ve felt disconnected from your body, struggled with resentment toward intimacy, or been wary of “divine feminine” programs that promise to heal you for a steep price, this episode offers a refreshing, honest exploration of what it means to reclaim pleasure and embrace your own erotic journey on your own terms. Join us for a candid conversation that challenges the scripts and empowers you to reconnect with yourself.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Book | Reclaiming Pleasure by Holly Richmond

Book | Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

Podcast | Pleasure Mechanics

CONNECT WITH ALEXANDRA:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Join the BFTB inner circle and unlock my premium content at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

In this episode, we’re confronting the often-overlooked sexist and misogynistic roots of psychiatry, guided by insights from Dr. Jessica Taylor, author of Sexy But Psycho. Dr. Taylor reveals that, even today, simply being female is correlated with nearly every mental disorder listed in the DSM-V. Women are statistically more likely to receive diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, BPD, and eating disorders, which raises crucial questions about gender bias in psychiatric practices. We’ll examine the historical context of “hysteria” and how early psychiatric labels were used to control and marginalize women. The discussion also covers the disproportionately high rates of BPD diagnoses among women and how feminist critics view this diagnosis as a reflection of societal attitudes toward women’s responses to trauma and oppression, rather than as an inherent disorder. Through this conversation, we aim to expose and challenge the ways gender discrimination continues to shape mental health diagnoses and explore alternative perspectives that validate women’s experiences and resilience.

Recommended resources:

Please Stop Using My Mental Illness to Fulfill Your Fantasy (Healthline article by Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro)

Sexy But Psycho: How the Patriarchy Uses Women’s Trauma Against Them (book by Dr. Jessica Taylor)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we explore the topic of existential dread, death anxiety, spirituality, and religious trauma, and offer strategies for coping with these challenging experiences. You'll join my dog Cody and me for a walk as we discuss insights on how to find meaning and purpose in life despite the inevitability of death, and how spirituality can provide a source of comfort and solace in times of crisis. We also delve into the topic of religious trauma, discussing how to navigate the pain and confusion that can arise from experiences of spiritual abuse or trauma. Join us as we offer practical tips and tools for managing existential dread, death anxiety, and religious trauma, and discover how to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Recommended resources:

Movie: “A Ghost Story” (2017)

Book on the tarot that jump-started my spirituality journey: “Fearless Tarot” by Elliot Adam

Episode of the podcast where I interview Elliot Adam

Inspiring talk on the 13th century poet & Sufi mystic Rumi

Talk on St. Teresa of Avila’s Life & Teaching on Surrender

Understanding the Dark Night of the Soul & Spiritual Desolation of St. John of the Cross

Talk on The Centering Prayer Meditation from the Festival of Faiths

The Noble Journey from Fear to Fearlessness with Pema Chödrön

Ho'oponopono Mantra for Healing Everything with Dr. Kim D'eramo

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, you’ll join my dog Cody and me for a walk in the witchy woods while I break in my new Dr. Marten boots. On our walk, I’ll explain why a book about self-compassion made me incredibly furious this week. After that, I’ll tell you why my spirit mother archetype is a mixture of RuPaul and Grandmother Willow from the 1995 Pocahontas movie.

Recommended resources:

■ Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristen Neff

■ The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo

■ We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you experience intense mood swings, anxiety, or depression around your period, you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the effects of PMS, PMDD, and hormonal birth control on our mental and emotional health, exploring how these cycles shape our mood and well-being. Recently, I discovered the practice of Menstrual Cycle Awareness (MCA) through the work of Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, founders of RedSchool. This framework, which sees the menstrual cycle as a series of inner “seasons,” has been a game-changer in helping me navigate emotional waves and manage severe premenstrual symptoms—including those intense enough to qualify for PMDD.

Together, we’ll unpack how period stigma has shaped our understanding of menstrual health, often leaving out crucial insights that can help us reclaim a sense of control. You’ll learn about the four distinct phases of the menstrual cycle and how becoming attuned to these natural rhythms can support emotional regulation. We’ll also explore the impact of hormonal birth control on mood, examining how it can sometimes exacerbate symptoms of emotional dysregulation.

Additional topics include:

• The difference between PMS and PMDD, and whether premenstrual symptoms should be considered a mental disorder
• Cultural attitudes and rites around menstruation from around the world
• Practical steps to begin practicing MCA for improved mental health and well-being
• The potential benefits of seed cycling for managing mood swings tied to the menstrual cycle

This episode is a guide to understanding the power of the menstrual cycle—a power many of our mothers and grandmothers didn’t have the chance to share with us. Whether you’re struggling with intense symptoms or simply curious about a new approach to emotional regulation, this conversation offers valuable insights for reconnecting with your body and finding greater balance.

Recommended resources:

■ Flo Period Tracking app (I use the free version)

■ Think Dirty Shop Clean App

■ Wild Power (book that explains MCA and the inner seasons)

■ Blog article by Rising Woman that breaks down the inner seasons one by one

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alessia Camoirano Bruges is an Italian-Colombian artist based in London. Her unique “fluid art” is inspired by its ever-changing nature – just like humans and our emotions. She combines her passion for color psychology, color therapy, fluidity, and her emotional intensity into her artwork. She sees each piece as a cathartic experience in which she can connect to her inner child and relaxed into fully embodied presence & mindfulness. In this episode, we discuss Alessia's battle with her eating disorder and her struggle with emotional dysregulation & chronic pain that led her to her personal rock bottom moment where she realized *she* was the common denominator in her chaotic life. We also discuss how she bravely decided reach out for help and found healing through DBT and EMDR and how this allowed her to begin channeling her big emotions into creative projects, which resulted in her artwork being published in massive publications and getting hired as a documentary filmmaker for Vice.

Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:

■ Alessia’s experience growing up as an “emotionally intense” child (often being told she was “too much”)

■ How to learn to embrace your emotional intensity as an inherent strength and creative tool

■ Mollie & Alessia discuss their shared struggled with oversharing

■ Getting “the ick” (the sudden desire to rid ourselves of romantic partners or friendships)

■ Alessia’s experience trying to repress her eating disorder/depression with extreme fandom

■ Suffering in silence with “high-functioning” mental health issues (eating disorders, depression, BPD)

■ Alessia’s personal battle with chronic pain

■ How Alessia finally found a therapist that was a good match for her who took a holistic approach to treatment (treated her as person, not a disorder)

■ Alessia’s struggles with emotional flashbacks (and how EMDR therapy helped her with this)

■ How painting has become her most effective therapeutic method

■ Alessia’s early childhood intuitive relationship with color that grew into a passion for color psychology

■ Alessia’s struggle with imposter syndrome even after the critical acclaim and success of her artwork

■ Her experience getting hired to work for Vice and creating documentaries

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reflecting on the Euphoria character "Cassie," Evan Rachel Wood's new documentary "Phoenix Rising" (about her alleged struggle with domestic violence, grooming, and sexual assault at the hands of singer Marilyn Manson), and recent events with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West inspired me to sit down and reflect on my own chaotic experiences with grooming, domestic violence and sexual assault throughout my teens and twenties. I realized that the thread that connected all of the chaos was an underlying disconnection from my intuition or "gut feeling." In this episode, we discuss how to reconnect to our sense of inner knowing and how to move forward and heal from toxic connections that we previously thought were love but weren't.

Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:

■ Warning signs you've lost touch with your intuition (and how this often happens in childhood)

■ How I learned to overcome my obsession with seeking male validation

■ Sexual grooming (recognizing the signs and my personal experiences)

■ How I learned that rape isn’t black and white 

■ Rebound relationships & domestic violence (rushing into things too soon before knowing the person)

■ My experience meeting my current partner and understanding that true love is “friendship first” (finally finding safety in a relationship)

■ Strategies on tapping into our intuition when we’ve lost a connection with it (practical exercises from Martha Beck)

Recommended resources:

Phoenix Rising Documentary with Evan Rachel Wood

The Gathering Room Podcast

5 Steps for Tapping Into Your Intuition (Article by Martha Beck)

“Trip Down Intuitive Memory Lane” Exercise (Lesson 3)

Intuitive Scoring (Lesson 4)

Intuition Conversation with Non Dominant Hand (Lesson 5)  

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.