Back from the Borderline

This is part two of our exploration on BPD and fear of abandonment for my premium subscribers! We’re taking what we learned in part one and going even deeper.

💡 Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

■ The role toxic shame plays in fear of abandonment  

■ Is it possible to be addicted to abandonment?  

■ How we can begin to heal our abandonment issues

📝 Additional premium subscriber resources:  

■ Cognitive behavioral therapy for abandonment anxiety with Doc Snipes (YouTube)

■ How to heal an abandonment wound with Susan Anderson (YouTube)

■ The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson (Book)

■ To anyone feeling lonely (incredible YouTube essay by Lana Blakely)

■ The art of being alone but not lonely: how to shift your mindset in tough times (YouTube essay by Rowena Tsai)

📲 Follow the podcast on Instagram @backfromtheborderline

Disclaimer: This podcast is for entertainment and inspirational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional. The host claims no responsibility for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Join the BFTB inner circle and unlock my premium content at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

If you’re a highly sensitive person who often feels overwhelmed by intense emotions, this episode is for you. We dive into the experience of having “big feelings”—emotions so strong they can feel all-encompassing and difficult to manage. Together, we’ll explore the concept of emotional permanence, the sensation that certain emotions feel unshakable in the moment, as well as emotional dysregulation, which can lead to intense, unpredictable reactions. We also discuss a challenging but important topic: how difficulties with emotion regulation can sometimes result in unintentional harm to loved ones. This episode sheds light on how to navigate these intense feelings with greater awareness and offers compassionate insights for fostering healthier, more balanced relationships. Join me as we unpack the complexities of big emotions and how we can learn to honor our sensitivity without allowing it to consume us or those we care about.

Recommended resources: 

■ Martha Beck podcast interview about how deciding to quit lying for a year changed her life

■ Book | The Way of Integrity: Finding Your Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck

■ YouTube video further describing issues with emotional permanence and BPD

■ Article on how to deal with emotional impermanence 

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever come across a post or article about BPD and thought, “That sounds like me”? Maybe you’ve connected with descriptions of chronic emptiness, a fear of abandonment, or a shifting self-image—and then found yourself spiraling down a Google rabbit hole. I remember being at that same stage in my own journey, feeling both understood and discouraged by what I read. The label can be overwhelming, and sometimes the information out there paints a bleak, one-dimensional picture that can make recovery seem impossible. In this episode, I’ll share the basics about BPD—along with the perspectives I wish I’d had at the beginning of my journey, perspectives that would have saved me a lot of time and doubt. You’ll get a look beyond the surface-level portrayals, gaining insights and resources that can empower you to start your own healing journey, whether or not you resonate with the label. By the end, I hope you’ll see BPD in a way that challenges some of the usual narratives and opens the door to real understanding and growth.

We’ll explore questions like:

• What does it really mean to identify with BPD traits, and what does it feel like?
• How can you approach self-healing from BPD if mental health resources are limited?
• Why might relentlessly pursuing a diagnosis not always be the most empowering path?
• Is recovery possible, and can those with BPD traits find peace and fulfillment?

This episode is for anyone curious about BPD or feeling weighed down by the label. Join me for a fresh, more expansive perspective on what it means to move beyond the stigma and reclaim a sense of hope and agency.

Resources mentioned: 

■ Free PDF DBT Skills Worksheet: “Check The Facts”

■ BPD self-management (article with tons of free resources and PDFs)

■ Book by Martha Beck “The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self”

■ How to find your core values (full guide)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, you’ll join my dog Cody and me on our morning walk in the woods as we discuss “spiritual red flags.” Along my journey towards healing and deeper self-awareness, I’ve fallen for some stupid new age sh*t. I’ve wasted money on “Spiritual Gurus™” and coaches. I’ve gone down the YouTube manifestation rabbit hole. All of it. During our walk, I’ll share with you the most important lessons I’ve learned and the core teachings that have helped me find a semblance of inner peace and spiritual grounding in my life. Notably working on cultivating a “loving-kindness” practice, which I’ve recently learned from Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön’s book, “The Places That Scare You.”

At the end of the episode, I answer a few listener questions about struggling to make friends, emotion regulation and the “FP” or “favorite person” relationship in BPD.

Recommended resources:

■ The Deep End (Documentary on Hulu about spiritual guru Teal Swan)

■ The Gateway (Investigative podcast re the work of Teal Swan)

■ The Places That Scare You (Book by Pema Chödrön that inspired this episode)

■ Pema Chodron herself walking you through the practice of loving-kindness

■ Another talk with Pema (Loving Oneself and Others – Tonglen practice)

■ Tonglen Meditation with Pema Chodron

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you known for always doing things “right,” following the rules, and keeping your emotions in check? If so, you may have what’s known as an Overcontrolled style of coping. People with this temperament are highly detail-oriented, vigilant to potential threats, and possess strong inhibitory control—the ability to hold back impulses and behaviors. On the outside, they often appear “high-functioning,” but beneath the surface, they may feel isolated, rigid, and unseen, with their struggles often going unnoticed.

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Larry Dahmer, a psychological associate specializing in Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (RO-DBT), a therapeutic approach designed to support individuals with Overcontrolled coping styles. Larry shares insights into this groundbreaking therapy, explaining how it differs from standard DBT and why it can be transformative for those who feel stuck in cycles of perfectionism and emotional restraint.

We explore topics like:

• What RO-DBT is and how it helps those with emotional overcontrol
• The unique role of self-inquiry in RO-DBT and how it fosters flexibility and openness
• Why Western society often encourages emotional overcontrol, and how this can lead to loneliness and disconnection
• Embracing emotions like hopelessness and anxiety as teachers rather than enemies
• Inspiring stories of change from Larry’s RO-DBT clients

If you or someone you know feels pressured to always “hold it together” but struggles to connect authentically with others, this episode offers a compassionate look at the Overcontrolled coping style and introduces tools for living with greater openness and fulfillment.

Learn more about RO-DBT at https://www.radicallyopen.net/

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This guided imagery is called "A Seat At The Table." The setting is a warm countryside cabin, where you will gather with your "inner counsel" to access intuitive guidance and a more regulated nervous system. Come back to it as often as you need to. With repeated use, you can hope to see deeper and more profound levels of grounding and regulation.

This meditation was inspired by an interview with the incredible Dr. Lisa Miller. A listener shared with me an interview she did on the Rich Roll podcast and she walked him through this visualization, which inspired me to adapt it to a longer ASMR-style version of my own.

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This guided imagery is called "A Seat At The Table." The setting is a warm countryside cabin, where you will gather with your "inner counsel" to access intuitive guidance and a more regulated nervous system. Come back to it as often as you need to. With repeated use, you can hope to see deeper and more profound levels of grounding and regulation.

This meditation was inspired by an interview with the incredible Dr. Lisa Miller. A listener shared with me an interview she did on the Rich Roll podcast and she walked him through this visualization, which inspired me to adapt it to a longer ASMR-style version of my own.

If you'd like to access more guided visualizations and meditations, I'll be releasing them on my subscriber-only feed, which you can sign up for by clicking here.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Join the BFTB inner circle and unlock my premium content at https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Have you ever felt completely out of control of your emotions—sudden waves of rage, paralyzing anxiety, or a numb disconnection from life? If so, you might be living outside your “window of tolerance,” the optimal state where you’re able to handle emotions, manage frustrations, and make clear-headed decisions. When we fall outside this window, we can find ourselves hijacked by intense reactions, feeling either overwhelmed or entirely shut down.

Note: The first half of this episode includes a discussion of a book passage on asexuality and responses to listener questions on intuition, relationships, and emotional dysregulation. If you want to skip directly to the window of tolerance discussion, jump to minute 39.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Weak or nonexistent personal boundaries can leave us feeling drained, manipulated, and even resentful. In this episode, we’ll explore how to recognize if you’re struggling with boundary issues and the impact this can have on your sense of self-worth, emotional stability, and relationships. Many of us learn unhealthy boundary patterns early on, often tied to codependency and the need to please others, which can ultimately lead to feelings of worthlessness and passivity. If you want to skip straight to the boundaries discussion, jump to minute 16 after the listener Q&A. We’ll cover what personal boundaries truly are, why they matter, and how a lack of boundaries can affect your interactions with friends, family, and partners. We’ll also debunk common myths about setting boundaries and highlight the positive changes you can expect when you start asserting your needs.

In the premium version of this episode, available for subscribers, we take an even deeper dive into boundary-setting:

• Understanding that you have the right to set boundaries and define your needs
• How to uncover your boundaries by exploring your personal needs
• Strategies for confidently saying “no” and recognizing when someone has overstepped
• How to stop overcommitting and reclaim your time and energy
• Sample conversation frameworks to help you set clear boundaries with loved ones and protect your emotional well-being

This episode offers practical insights and tools to help you reclaim control over your life, develop a healthier sense of self, and foster more fulfilling relationships. Join us as we unpack the essentials of boundary-setting and create a path toward genuine self-respect and stability.

Craving the full episode? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is it possible that what we often call “mental illness” might actually be a form of spiritual starvation? In this episode, we explore the limitations of traditional psychiatric diagnoses and question the narratives that define certain behaviors as “disorders” or “dysfunctions.” Diving into the complexities of the medical model in mental health, we discuss why diagnoses like “personality disorder” are often controversial, considering how they can overlook social context and carry heavy stigmas.

We also touch on how trauma-informed care and holistic approaches can offer a more compassionate, empowering framework for healing. From alchemical thought and symbolism to spirituality and myth, I’ll share how these elements have played a transformative role in my own recovery, helping me reconnect with a deeper sense of self beyond diagnostic labels. My journey has been guided by the motto “solve et coagula”—to break down and rebuild—a concept that embodies the heart of this episode.

Join me as we question the over-pathologizing of human emotion, explore the powerful role spirituality can play in recovery, and consider how a more integrated approach can help us live beyond the limits of labels.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.