Back from the Borderline

On this episode of the podcast, I sit down with my new friend Lolly. You may very well already be familiar with her wife, Nicole LePera, known for her @theholisticpsychologist Instagram account (which has nearly 5 million followers to date). Lolly and Nicole built their platform together from the ground up out of their tiny apartment in Philadelphia. Today, The Holistic Psychologist brand has a thriving community, podcast, and best-selling book.

**To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com **

Below are some of the concepts Lolly and I cover:   

■ The origin story of The Holistic Psychologist brand and community

■ Spirituality (what it means to Lolly and the important role it plays in healing and recovery)

■ The controversy behind the statement “our thoughts become things” 

■ Binary thinking in today’s internet culture and the power, fear and responsibility that comes with having such a large mental health platform

■ Addressing the criticism from some in the mental health community around Nicole and Lolly's idea of “self-healing”

■ The severe lack of accessibility to mental health services (roadblocks, red tape, providers who don’t – or can’t afford to – take insurance) 

■ Why mental health can’t be a one-size-fits-all approach (the importance of having access to different information/modalities outside the standard talk therapy + medication route)

■ Lolly’s experience growing up with a mother with BPD traits and how she began to see the same patterns manifest within herself in adulthood

■ Lolly & Mollie’s experiences with klonopin and xanax dependency (exploring psychiatric drug withdrawal) 

■ The importance of nuanced thinking and the ability to hold two different realities at once

■ What the rise of Web3 (Web 3.0) and decentralized networks could mean for mental health communities and creatives with BPD/complex trauma (discussion of Instagram’s deletion of the #bpd hashtag)

■ The “struggle behind the scenes” epidemic (how social media tricks us into believing we’re the only ones suffering)

■ Imposter syndrome (how no one really knows what the f*ck they’re doing)

Connect with Lolly:

@createvisions2day on IG

theholisticpsychologist.com

Resources mentioned on today’s episode:

YouTube | Mastering the Art of Manifesting (by Wayne Dyer)

YouTube | Lewis Howes' Interview with Dr. Joe Dispenza

Goodreads | Books by John Bradshaw

Web 3.0 Basics:

TedTalks | Decentralized Internet Easily Explained

YouTube | NFTs Easily Explained

YouTube | What is Web 3.0?

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In this episode, we speak with psychologist Barlas Günay, who has lived and worked around the world and specializes in schema-focused therapy and mindfulness techniques. We delve into a range of topics, from cultural differences in emotions to coping with emotional dysregulation and repressed emotions. We also discuss the myth of "good" and "bad" emotions, how to be less emotionally reactive, and how to reconnect with your True Self. Additionally, we explore topics like the connection between abandonment and anger, overanalyzing in relationships, and breaking the cycle of generational trauma. Tune in to gain insights and tips for improving your emotional well-being and relationships.

Recommended resources:

Breaking Down the Wall of Silence by Alice Miller

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Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Dialectical behavior therapy, also known as DBT, is a form of psychotherapy that is founded on the principals of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Psychologist Marsha M. Linehan developed DBT in the late 1980s as a means to help better treat chronically suicidal individuals diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Although touched upon in cognitive behavioral therapy, DBT places primary emphasis on the psychosocial aspects of treatment. DBT combines standard CBT techniques for emotional regulation and reality testing with concepts derived from Buddhist meditative practice such as awareness, mindfulness and attentiveness to current situations and emotional experiences to encourage acceptance. 

In this episode, I interview Daina Haines, MA, LCSW, who facilitates DBT therapy groups at Tri-State DBT Associates in Medford, New Jersey.

Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:

■ How dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can help people with BPD

■ What is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)?

■ What does research say about DBT?

■ What can you expect from DBT?

■ The concept of “wise mind” in DBT (explaining wise mind, rational mind and emotion mind)

■ BPD and suicide (chronic suicidal ideation as a symptom of borderline personality disorder)

■ The “quiet BPD” subtype (the internalizing and externalizing structure of mental disorders)

■ BPD anger (how to respond to BPD anger)

■ Radical acceptance in DBT (accepting reality using DBT skills)

■ Distress tolerance skills in DBT (willingness vs. willfulness)

■ BPD, manipulation and attention-seeking behaviors (busting common BPD myths)

■ Can BPD be “cured”?

■ What does BPD recovery look like? (Exploring prognosis and recovery stages)

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Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Gen Z is often described as “the most depressed generation,” with 91% reporting psychological symptoms related to stress and only 45% feeling positively about their mental health. In today’s episode, I sit down with Adam Sweet, creator of the viral YouTube video “Why Is Gen Z Humor So Weird?” to explore the unique mental health challenges faced by Gen Z. As a member of Gen Z, Adam brings firsthand insight into the pressures, anxieties, and complexities shaping his generation. Together, we dive into the reasons behind these alarming mental health statistics, exploring how cultural shifts, technology, and a rapidly changing world contribute to the unique stressors and coping mechanisms of “iGen.” From navigating an uncertain future to finding humor in the absurd, this episode offers a closer look at the realities behind the numbers and opens up a candid conversation about what it means to grow up in today’s world.

Watch Adam's original YouTube video: “Why Is Gen-Z Humor So Weird?”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, I sit down with Courtney, a licensed clinical social worker and doctor of clinical psychology who has dedicated her career to unraveling the complexities of the mind and body. With over 12 years of education and a following of 2 million, Courtney is passionate about de-stigmatizing mental health and sharing her own journey, proving that resilience, determination, and authenticity can transcend society’s limitations. Together, we explore the unique challenges and insights that come with navigating life while identifying with traits commonly associated with BPD. Courtney opens up about her own experiences with infidelity, addiction, and the stigma surrounding BPD in the mental health field—offering valuable perspectives for both those on a healing journey and their loved ones.

Topics and questions we’ll cover in this episode:

• The stigma surrounding BPD and why some therapists are hesitant to work with these traits
• Navigating infidelity, addiction, and intense emotions as part of the recovery journey
• Can someone with BPD-related traits be a therapist?
• How adverse childhood experiences and trauma can lead to chronic health challenges
• Understanding the connection between BPD traits and panic attacks, dishonesty, and existential thoughts
• Exploring chronic emptiness and “spiritual starvation” and their role in mental health struggles
• The controversy around labeling personality as “disordered”
• Insights into sexuality and BPD (including topics like hypersexuality, sexual compulsion, and masochism)
• Key questions to ask when choosing a therapist
• BPD traits in teenagers
• Guidance for those newly identifying with BPD traits

Recommended resources:

Take this quiz to find your ACE score

Interview with psychiatrist Andrew Twardon, director for intensive treatment of personality disorders at Mount Sinai West, NYC who believes we should do away with the term "personality disorder" and replace it with "interpersonal vulnerabilities."

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Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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This episode is for anyone who has ever carried the weight of feeling like the “problem child”—for those who grew up believing they were somehow broken, undeserving of love, and plagued by a hollow emptiness they couldn’t shake. I’m sharing the profound insights that have fueled real change in my own recovery, going beyond traditional mental health treatment to explore concepts that often remain untouched: “individuation,” “the Ego,” and the “Higher Self.”

To truly understand the roots of our deepest struggles, we must see ourselves through a different lens—one inspired by “The Hero’s Journey,” the transformative path described by mythologist Joseph Campbell. In this episode, I’ll take you on this journey, unpacking how these ideas offer a new way to understand and embrace the parts of ourselves we’ve long been taught to ignore or suppress.

Topics we’ll explore together:

• What is “The Hero’s Journey,” and how can it illuminate a path forward for those navigating symptoms often labeled as BPD and other mental health challenges?
• What is the “Higher Self,” and how can connecting with it redefine our sense of purpose and self-worth?

This episode invites you to step into your own hero’s journey, seeing your struggles not as signs of brokenness but as rites of passage on the path to wholeness. Join me as we dive into the powerful, life-affirming insights that can transform how we view ourselves—and how we heal.

Recommended resources:

The Hero’s Journey - article by Jessica Davidson

Explanation of the different between ego, self, and Self - article by Jessica Davidson

Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A Tarot Journey to Self-Awareness (New Edition) book by Rachael Pollack

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Stephanie Carinia, a trauma and personality specialist and clinical psychologist based in Amsterdam, to explore the complexities of living with BPD-related symptoms. Dr. Carinia is highly skilled in therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT), and Schema-Focused Therapy (SFT), bringing a wealth of knowledge to our conversation.

Together, we delve into the nuanced experience of BPD traits, discussing how symptoms like non-delusional paranoia, splitting, and intense anger can impact both individuals and their loved ones. Dr. Carinia shares insights into the challenges therapists often encounter in working with clients who identify with these traits, as well as practical strategies for managing these symptoms and navigating complex emotions.

We also explore how these patterns affect relationships, the role of generational trauma, and methods for transforming the inner critic into a nurturing inner parent. Dr. Carinia offers guidance on validating children’s emotions and fostering a strong sense of agency, making this episode invaluable for those on a healing journey and for loved ones who wish to support them. Join us for a deep, insightful discussion that empowers listeners with tools for understanding and personal growth.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, I sit down with songwriter and self-described BPD recovery advocate Jared Gelman to explore his journey through identity struggles, self-harm, and addictive behaviors. Growing up labeled as “too much” by his family had a profound effect on Jared, shaping his sense of self and the challenges he faced. Here, he shares his experience with what’s often called “quiet BPD,” diving into topics like dichotomous thinking, paranoia, emotional regulation, and relationships.

Jared opens up about the impact of emotional invalidation in his childhood, his experience with ADHD, and the complex stigma surrounding the BPD label. Our conversation sheds light on what it’s like to navigate life with these intense symptoms, often misunderstood by those around us.

We discuss practical strategies for coping with episodes of splitting, fears of rejection, abandonment, and loneliness, and how these struggles influence everyday relationships. This episode offers valuable insights not only for those who identify with BPD traits but also for their loved ones, providing guidance on how to offer genuine support. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of these experiences and to find tools that foster healing and compassion for yourself and others.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Among the symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD), insecurity in one's sense of self and relationships is often seen as a core feature. Fearing abandonment, alternating between idealizing and devaluing others (splitting), and rapidly shifting between moods, people who identify with BPD seem to share some of the basic elements of individuals with what’s known as an "insecure attachment style."

In this episode, I had the opportunity to sit down with Jen Roters, a doctoral candidate of psychology at Brock University, where she has dedicated over ten years of her life to the study of childhood adversity related to attachment and personality disorder development.

Questions answered in this episode:

■ How different attachment styles influence borderline personality disorder

■ What are DBT skills and how can they be used for BPD recovery?

■ Can men have BPD?

■ How to help someone with BPD during an episode

■ What is an anxious attachment style?

■ What is emotional invalidation?

■ The role of childhood trauma and adverse childhood experiences in the development of BPD

■ BPD in teenagers

■ The Biosocial Theory of Borderline Personality Disorder

■ The Relationship Between BPD and Dissociation

Recommended resources:

Film | The Dhamma Brothers (documents the stories of a group of prisoners as they enter a meditation program)

Book | Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw

Book | Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Steven Hayes

Book | Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir by Marsha Linehan

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By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

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If you identify with BPD, it's likely you've found yourself struggling to manage impulsive behaviors and self-destructive behaviors. You may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, use sex as self-harm, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may help you feel better in the moment, but it's no secret that they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.

Usually, without even being conscious of it, we are using these impulsive behaviors to help self-soothe (also called "down-regulate) and further repress our deep feelings of shame and self-hatred. The key here is that for people with BPD, impulsivity usually occurs in response to the stress and negative emotions we've taught ourselves to avoid. By the end of this episode, you'll understand the root of BPD impulsivity and how you can begin to take back control of your life.

Topics explored and questions answered in this episode:

■ What is impulsive behavior and what causes it?

■ How to control impulsive behavior in BPD

■ How dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can help curb impulsive behaviors and emotional dysregulation

Recommended resources: 

■ The Minimalist's interview with Patreon Founder & CEO, Jack Conte

🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.

By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

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