Becoming You

This fantastic discussion came up during a connection call with a potential client - she mentioned that she had been using consequences with her child without much success, and by the end of the call she wanted to know what she could do instead.

From my personal experience, I found that consequences stopped working as well as my children grew. Consequences did work, they had an immediate reaction and corrected the behaviour, but at what cost?

They often leaves your child feeling ashamed and really angry and disconnected from you - when often the behavior that you're trying to correct and the discipline you're trying to instill is a cry for connection and attention. For a child looking for connection, consequences push them even further away, exactly what we don't want do!

I have 10 suggestions for other ways you can correct unwanted behaviours - we want to use consequences as our very last resort and there are a lot of options for other ways to help our child understand what behaviour we are looking for.

Which of these methods will you use the next time you usually would have given out consequence? I would love for you to share with me by leaving a review of the show.if this was helpful

Do you need help and support to stop using consequences with your children? I am inviting you to book a call a free 1:1 call with me right now.

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I hope for you to use this podcast episode as a way to bring awareness to your parenting patterns and know that you can absolutely change any of the ways your childhood trauma might be showing up in your parenting.

When I first started my healing journey, I didn't think I had that much trauma in my childhood and many people say the same thing. 

We are incredibly unaware of how we carry micro and macro trauma, which affects everything we do in life, until you actively work on healing those things so that they no longer run us.

Some of these examples may hit a nerve and be hard to hear - but I want you to know that you can change and absolutely repair any and all damage - you're not a lost cause and neither is your family.

You have so much power to change your story and the future of your family. But it always starts with you.

Do you need help and support doing this healing work - so your can kids can feel like you are their safe haven? This is the transformation I provide my clients and I am inviting you to book a call a free 1:1 call with me right now.

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This week, I enjoyed taking my oldest son out for dinner, the bookstore, and a movie. My husband and I have been intentional about creating 1:1 time with each child, it's a great way to form connections and really just make them feel really special. As we shopped, my son told me about so many of the books he had read, and about the plots, it was just so cool to speak to him on that level.

It was interesting taking a 13-year-old boy to see Barbie, he had picked it, and I didn't quite know what I was walking into, unlike a lot of other movie trailers, it gave nothing away other than the fact that it was about Barbie.

This whole episode is about what I took away from the Barbie movie. So, just a heads up, there are going to be spoilers. So, if you plan on watching it and don't want any spoilers, then come back to it after you've seen the movie!

I was really happy that I was able to take my teen boy to see this, even though a lot of the topics might have gone over his head. I was so proud that I took him so that he could be exposed to the very real problems that women face in this world - the inequalities, the fears that we face on a daily basis that men don't have to, the pressures that we carry. He got an introduction to that, and we talked about it afterward.

And it is my job to curate and expose him to as many different ideas as possible and help him to critically think about things. Now, I don't know that I'm doing a fabulous job of this, but I'm doing it messily. I'm doing it imperfectly, right? And I'm doing it very differently from what my parents did.

I would love to hear from you if you watched the Barbie movie and what you thought about it!

I want to invite you to book a call a free one-on-one call with me right now. I promise you at the end of this call is that you're going to walk away with a three-step action plan on getting some changes and wins in your relationship and dynamics with your children right away.

https://calendly.com/visashan/grounded-parent-call

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This week, my guest Lisa Thee has an inspiring story to share about her career, its evolution in a much more fulfilling direction, and breathwork's support in her life. As a busy executive, her health and wellbeing were suffering, and although she was a little skeptical of breathwork, she has found it a tremendously helpful tool for her wellness. Her career now combines AI and online child safety online and her new book is coming out, Go!: Reboot Your Career in 90 Days - and I know her actionable and real steps will help so many who have felt unfulfilled in their career.

LIsa is a Top 50 Global Thought Leader for AI, Privacy, and Safety with demonstrated experience in delivering revenue and solving complex business technology, governance, privacy and risk challenges at scale.

Connect with Lisa:

Connect with Lisa here -

www.lisathee.com

www.lisathee.com/go

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This week I had the pleasure of being a guest on my friend, Melissa Eich's podcast. She is a health coach and nutritionist, health coach and we just had a blast having a conversation around how when you're stressed as a parent, it actually shows up in your inability to get healthy, whatever your health goals might be.

Melissa did a fantastic job of asking the best questions, and I really hope you enjoy this conversation all about how parenting can become really stressful and get in the way of us becoming our best selves.

I share some really great tips on how to reframe your mindset when it comes to parenting and how to think differently about your child or children so that you can have a more peaceful home while also taking really good care of yourself.

Connect with Melissa -

IG: @melissa_eich

TikTok: @melissa_eich

Website: www.melissaeichcoaching.com

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I'm moving away from the term gentle parenting and using the terms conscious parenting or grounded parent.

The word can put people off, because they might have certain not-so-helpful connotations attached to the word gentle. This all comes back to our own mindset - words have stories and deeper meanings and stories associated with them. The belief in what gentle means and if we can embody that meaning is just putting too high of expectations on people who are new to thinking about being a different parent.

No one is a perfect parent. Being a conscious parent means you are aware of your emotions, rather than accepting the default of being only gentle, and the more we work on ourselves, the better version of us shows up for our children, and ourselves.

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This week's guest is a friend and past client, Ami Doshi, a busy mother of two teens, and a wealth management specialist where she works with women looking to live their best lives by taking control of their financial health. We connected several years ago when she was looking for a life coach, and I am so excited to share her recent experience and her self-reflection on her personal development over the last few years.

When we started working together, she was not trusting her intuition and felt an internal need to be a little more mindful about how she was curating her life. She felt reactive and that she was allowing circumstances to dictate her next steps as opposed to articulating what she wanted and curating a life accordingly.

She just recently undertook the massive challenge - 29029 Everesting, and her experience was so profound. She shares the determination, self-trust and acceptance, and sheer grit she had to complete the challenge.

By trusting in herself, being so confident, and hearing her inner voice so strongly, as she completed her climbs she had tremendous revelations about her own strength of mind and her body, leaving her with newfound clarity and true freedom.

I hope you enjoy this episode about sheer embodiment and the feeling of deep accomplishment, and how Ami truly now feels that she, herself, in her heart, is more than enough.

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You Absolutely have what it takes

If you are looking for a different way to parent, you've heard about gentle parenting. But what does gentle parenting mean? Are you worried you are going to give permission for your kids to be in control? They won't have any form of discipline? Maybe you are worried you don't have what it "takes" to be a gentle parent, and that's only for a very patient person and that doesn't feel like it's possible.

This podcast is going to show you that it is possible for you and your family to have a more gentle, connected, and cooperative relationship.

It really is about being an empathetic listener and a gentle guide to your children, it's not about letting your kids be in control.

As parents, it's essential to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves too. It's okay to have moments of frustration and anger, and gentle parenting focuses on repairing those ruptures with specific steps to strengthen trust, respect, and love.

Tune in to this episode to learn how to become a gentle parent and build a positive relationship with your child.

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We all have moments in our family where we go head-to-head with our kids. We don't back down. They don't back down.

They don't listen. We try to explain, and then before you know it, everyone is yelling and fighting with each other, and everyone's just left feeling exhausted,

This episode has my 7-step process to help you regulate yourself and de-escalate the issue, and it really is a de-escalation. This is a true negotiation and conflict because disagreements like this are like you have been hijacked, it's what it feels like when your child is being defiant, not listening, or being disrespectful. Your entire evening and your mood and your energy levels are all being hijacked by your child or your children and their lack of respect and consideration.

Our job as a parent, Is to really try and connect with the emotion behind the outburst. Now, this is a real challenge - we ourselves have our own triggers and emotions to deal with, but we are ultimately the caregivers and it's upon us to model how to behave and help our children feel safe when they feel they're out of control and they're feeling powerless.

Tune in and start implementing the process, this will absolutely help you during the next outburst. Let me know what stood out to you.

Find out more about my program, The Grounded Parent

https://visalakshi.kartra.com/page/thegroundedparent

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We are often very quick to prevent our children from making mistakes, to protect them from their own mistakes, and give them as much advice and life experience as necessary to protect them from failing. We want to see them succeed, and protect them.

But by doing this, we often fail to realize what a gift there is in mistakes that our kids make.

I have been really challenging myself to allow my kids to make mistakes, as long as it doesn't affect them physically or in an adversely mental way. There is a lot they can learn through their own process to find their own answers.

Now that I follow the values of gentle parenting and conscious parenting, I still really have a hard time guiding them and supporting them through this process without nagging or projecting my own feelings.

This week's episode shares two recent examples of parenting where I did my best to keep myself on the sidelines and to let the situation happen without my intervention, but rather as a teacher and guide.

Find out more about my program, The Grounded Parent

https://visalakshi.kartra.com/page/thegroundedparent

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