Better Divorce Podcast

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce podcast, host Paulette Rigo speaks with parenting coach and psychotherapist Todd Sarner about the complexities of parenting in today's technology-driven world. They discuss Todd's upcoming book, 'The Calm and Connected Parent,' which emphasizes the importance of attachment in parenting. The conversation explores the challenges posed by technology, the significance of secure attachment, and the dynamics of co-parenting, especially in the context of divorce. Todd shares insights on how to balance technology use with parenting, the importance of connection, and the role of parents in fostering resilience in children.

Takeaways:

• Parenting is more about who you are than what you do.
• Attachment first parenting prioritizes relationships over discipline.
• Technology can hinder children's ability to form secure attachments.
• Parents need to agree on technology use for their children.
• Children benefit from limits and boundaries set with compassion.
• Connection is essential before setting limits with children.
• Secure attachment is the key determinant of a child's potential.
• Co-parenting requires communication and alignment between parents.
• Children often seek connection through technology when they lack it in real life.
• Understanding attachment science can improve parenting strategies.

About Todd:

Todd Sarner is a parenting coach and psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience helping families create more connection, calm, and cooperation at home. A former Faculty Member of the Neufeld Institute, Todd has guided more than 2,000 families through the daily struggles of parenting—power struggles, meltdowns, and family stress—always with an attachment-first lens. He is the Director of Transformative Parenting and the author of the upcoming book The Calm & Connected Parent: An Attachment-First Guide to Raising Resilient Kids in the Age of Screens and AI (November 18, 2025).

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#divorce #mediation #coaching #lifeafterdivorce #divorcesupport

Summary

In this episode of the Better Divorce podcast, host Paulette Rigo speaks with Karen Gottlieb, a mental health therapist and author, about life after divorce. They discuss the emotional journey of navigating divorce, the importance of mindset, and the process of self-discovery. Karen shares her personal experiences and insights on helping women find their strength and purpose post-divorce, emphasizing that divorce is not the end but a new beginning. The conversation also touches on the stages of grief, the significance of support systems, and the lessons learned through the process.

Takeaways:

• Divorce is a transition, not the end of life.
• Having a support system is crucial during divorce.
• Mindset mastery can help navigate difficult times.
• It's important to communicate effectively in relationships.
• Many women lose their identity in marriage.
• Grief is a natural part of the divorce process.
• Self-discovery is essential after a divorce.
• Writing can be a therapeutic outlet.
• Legal aspects of divorce can be overwhelming.
• There is beauty and growth on the other side of divorce.

About Caryn:

Caryn Gottlieb is a clinically trained mental health therapist, author, speaker, and soul strategist who helps women rise from burnout, breakdown, and major life shifts through mindset work, nervous system healing, and intuition.

A message from Caryn:

"My latest book has just been released and is on Amazon in both paperback and kindle formats. "Beauty Within Divorce: A No-B.S. Guide to Healing, Reinventing, and Loving Life Again," is a compassionate, no-fluff guide for women ready to reclaim their joy, identity, and power.

I feel it's a must read for any woman who is navigating divorce or who is on the other side of things and struggling to level up in life to an enjoyable place where she is happy, healthy and abundant in all areas."

SIGN UP FOR my Better Divorce Blueprint PROGRAM: https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/bdb

WEBSITE - resources for those in need of Certified Divorce Coaching and Private Mediation Services :https://betterdivorceacademy.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA - bit.ly/betterdivorceacademy

Buy my book and workbook: Better Divorce Blueprint https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/

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#divorce #mediation #coaching #lifeafterdivorce #divorcesupport

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce podcast, Paulette Rigo and Kate discuss the transformative journey from feeling like a victim to thriving after divorce. Kate shares her personal experiences with trauma, cancer, and the challenges of navigating a difficult marriage. They explore the importance of self-value, the impact of emotional struggles, and the healing power of art. The conversation emphasizes the need for support, authenticity, and the lessons learned through the process of divorce, ultimately inspiring listeners to embrace their own transformations.

About Kate:

Kate is a board certified nurse coach who specializes in helping people who are navigating a cancer journey. She is a registered nurse and is passionate about empowering people who are faced with some of life’s greatest challenges. She is also a successful artist and uses the profits from her prints to provide pro bono coaching for people unable to afford 1:1 services.

Having hit rock bottom 10 years ago, after health crises, long standing narcissistic abuse and years of fear tactics she sought guidance through a domestic violence support center, ended her marriage and has rebuilt her life and career to make the most of this second chance at life and the gift of helping others.

Takeaways:

• Shifting your mindset is crucial for personal growth.
• Art can be a powerful tool for healing and expression.
• Navigating cancer and divorce requires immense strength.
• Self-value is essential in overcoming difficult relationships.
• Coercive control can deeply impact one's sense of self.
• Finding support is vital during challenging times.
• The legal process of divorce can be daunting but manageable.
• Embracing authenticity leads to a more fulfilling life.
• Lessons learned from past experiences shape future decisions.
• Transformation is possible after trauma and hardship.

SIGN UP FOR my Better Divorce Blueprint PROGRAM: https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/bdb

WEBSITE - resources for those in need of Certified Divorce Coaching and Private Mediation Services :https://betterdivorceacademy.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA - bit.ly/betterdivorceacademy

Buy my book and workbook: Better Divorce Blueprint https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/

RESOURCES - https://betterdivorceacademy.com/reso...

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#divorce #mediation #coaching #lifeafterdivorce #divorcesupport

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo speaks with Kirk Stange, a family law attorney and expert in military divorce. They discuss the unique challenges faced by military families during divorce, including communication dynamics between clients and lawyers, the emotional toll of family law, and the importance of mental health support. Kirk shares insights from his journey into family law, the complexities of military divorce, and offers advice for clients navigating this difficult process. The conversation emphasizes the need for effective communication, understanding emotional justice, and the role of legal representation in achieving a fair outcome.

Takeaways:

• Kirk Stange's journey into family law was accidental.
• The emotional toll of family law can be significant.
• Effective communication between clients and lawyers is crucial.
• Military divorce presents unique challenges compared to traditional divorce.
• Mental health support is essential during the divorce process.
• Clients should be assertive but constructive in their communication with lawyers.
• Emotional justice is often not achievable in divorce cases.
• Counseling and therapy can help clients navigate their feelings during divorce.
• Prenuptial agreements can help mitigate future legal issues.
• Finding the right attorney is key to a successful divorce process.

SIGN UP FOR my Better Divorce Blueprint PROGRAM: https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/bdb

WEBSITE - resources for those in need of Certified Divorce Coaching and Private Mediation Services :https://betterdivorceacademy.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA - bit.ly/betterdivorceacademy

Buy my book and workbook: Better Divorce Blueprint https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/

RESOURCES - https://betterdivorceacademy.com/reso...

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#divorce #mediation #coaching #lifeafterdivorce #divorcesupport

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo engages in a deep conversation with Dr. Ursula Lentine about the complexities of divorce, trauma, and emotional awareness. They explore the impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships, the importance of communication, and the role of Internal Family Systems (IFS) in understanding personal dynamics. Dr. Ursula shares her journey and insights on how to navigate the emotional landscape of divorce, emphasizing the need for self-discovery and healing. The conversation highlights the significance of respect and awareness in relationships, offering listeners valuable tools for personal growth and understanding.

Takeaways:

• Dr. Ursula emphasizes the importance of understanding childhood trauma.
• Many adults are influenced by their inner child during conflicts.
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps in recognizing different parts of ourselves.
• Communication is key to resolving issues in relationships.
• Resentment can build up when communication breaks down.
• Self-discovery is crucial for personal growth and healing.
• Divorce doesn't mean the end of family; it's about restructuring relationships.
• Emotional awareness can prevent misunderstandings in marriages.
• Therapy focuses on parts, but IFS is about healing those parts.
• Creating a safe space for vulnerability is essential for connection.

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo sits down with real estate expert Edith Espinola for a heartfelt and eye-opening conversation about navigating the emotional and practical challenges of divorce—especially when it comes to property. Edith shares her personal story of loss, resilience, and reinvention, offering hope and guidance for anyone facing this life transition.

From breaking emotional ties to a home to understanding the financial implications of selling and buying property, Paulette and Edith explore how the home-buying journey can mirror the healing process itself. Together, they remind listeners that divorce changes every aspect of life—but it also opens the door to new beginnings, empowerment, and the chance to create a beautiful life with intention.

Whether you’re just beginning your divorce journey or are in the process of rebuilding, this episode will leave you inspired, informed, and stronger than you know.

About Bernardo:

Bern Mendez is a neuroscience-based dating and relationship coach with 14 years of experience helping successful women thriving in midlife—but not yet in love—move past hidden emotional barriers into clear, committed relationships.

His practical method blends neuroscience, trauma-informed somatic work, polyvagal theory, and attachment research, helping women regulate their nervous systems, clarify what they genuinely want, and choose partners who can truly meet them there.

Bern’s YouTube channel has drawn over 30 million views and 227,000 subscribers, making it one of the top 12 dating advice channels for women worldwide. Featured by CNN, HuffPost, Redbook, Univision, and MindBodyGreen, Bern coaches women globally from his home base in Austin, Texas.

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo and guest Bern Mendez explore the complexities of dating and relationships post-divorce. They discuss how personal experiences shape our understanding of love and attraction, the role of the nervous system in partner selection, and the importance of self-awareness and emotional health in creating sustainable relationships. Bern shares his journey from personal pain to helping others navigate their relationship challenges, emphasizing the need for intentionality in dating and the significance of understanding attachment styles. The conversation highlights practical strategies for rewiring attraction patterns and recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics, ultimately encouraging listeners to seek help and embrace personal growth. In this conversation, Bern Mendez and Paulette Rigo explore the complexities of modern dating, emphasizing the psychological and emotional aspects of connection. They discuss the addictive nature of dating apps, the importance of authenticity, and the pressures women face in the dating landscape. The dialogue also touches on the hero's journey in relationships, the balance between passion and stability, and the significance of flirting and human connection. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to take their time in finding love and to set healthy boundaries in their dating lives.

Takeaways:

• The nervous system plays a crucial role in partner selection.
• Personal experiences, including loss, can drive one's purpose.
• Understanding attachment styles is vital for relationship success.
• Rewiring attraction patterns requires intentional effort.
• Breathing techniques can help regulate emotional responses.
• Recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics is essential for healing.
• Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Relationships require ongoing learning and adaptation.
• Self-awareness is key to navigating post-divorce dating.
• Daily practices can facilitate personal growth and emotional health. The cycle of connection and addiction is real and affects dating.
• Modern dating can feel overwhelming due to societal pressures.
• Authenticity is crucial in finding the right partner.
• It's important to ask powerful questions early in dating.
• Healthy love should feel like a safe home, not chaos.
• Flirting is a lost art that needs to be revived.
• Dating can be a spiritual journey of self-discovery.
• Setting boundaries is essential for healthy relationships.
• Take the time to find the right person for you.
• You can absolutely get what you want in love if you learn the necessary skills.

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo welcomes Kim Corven, a divorce expert from Canada. They discuss Kim's journey from a traditional litigator to a mediator and divorce coach, emphasizing the importance of empowering clients through education and innovative approaches to divorce. The conversation covers the emotional and financial impacts of divorce, the historical context of divorce law, and the significance of maintaining healthy relationships for the sake of children. Kim shares insights on how to approach difficult conversations about divorce and the resources available to support individuals navigating this challenging life transition.

Takeaways:

• Kim Corven emphasizes the importance of maintaining a good relationship between children and their parents during divorce.
• Divorce is often treated as a legal issue, but it fundamentally stems from emotional and relational dynamics.
• Education and empowerment are crucial for individuals facing divorce, helping them make informed decisions.
• The historical context of divorce law has shaped current practices, often leading to unnecessary conflict.
• Innovative approaches, such as rituals for divorce, can help individuals process their emotions and move forward.
• Mediation can be a more effective and less costly alternative to traditional litigation in divorce cases.
• Understanding the emotional toll of divorce is essential for both parents and children.
• The conversation around divorce needs to shift from adversarial to collaborative for better outcomes.
• Divorce is a common experience, and individuals should not feel isolated in their struggles.
• Resources and support systems are vital for those navigating the complexities of divorce.

About Zoey:

Zoey Charif isn’t just redefining how we think about love — she’s giving us a blueprint for it. As the author of Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated, Zoey spent nearly two decades decoding the patterns of human attraction, pulling from her background in criminology, data analytics, and a relentless drive to challenge everything we’ve been taught about relationships.

Born in Afghanistan, raised in Vancouver, Canada, and now based in Orange County, California, Zoey brings a rare blend of emotional depth, analytical precision, and lived experience to her work. Her framework isn’t just theoretical — it’s coachable, actionable, and designed to help people transform how they choose, build, and sustain relationships.

Her work is a wake-up call: love isn’t magic. It’s math, psychology, and emotional mastery.

Outside of the relationship space, Zoey is a powerhouse entrepreneur — the founder of Business Plans USA— helping startups and established businesses secure funding and scale with precision.

Whether she’s helping people find aligned love or aligned success, Zoey’s mission is the same: to turn hope into mastery and potential into reality.

Summary

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo speaks with Zoey, the author of 'Love Can In Fact Be Calculated.' They discuss the importance of understanding love through a new framework that includes the concept of a 'self score'—a numerical assessment of self-respect and self-love. The conversation explores how this framework can help individuals assess their relationships, choose the right partners, and avoid past mistakes. They emphasize the significance of purpose in life and relationships, and how self-awareness can lead to healthier connections. The episode concludes with resources for listeners seeking further guidance.

Takeaways:

• Understanding love requires a new framework.
• Self score is crucial for relationship sustainability.
• You can't love someone else unless you love yourself.
• Identifying core values is essential for relationship health.
• The perfect partner should be slightly above your self score.
• Low self scores can lead to toxic relationships.
• Purpose in life enhances relationship satisfaction.
• Self-awareness is key to making better relationship choices.
• Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in love.
• It's important to reassess relationships regularly.

SIGN UP FOR my Better Divorce Blueprint PROGRAM: https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/

WEBSITE - resources for those in need of Certified Divorce Coaching and Private Mediation Services :https://betterdivorceacademy.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA - bit.ly/betterdivorceacademy

Buy my book and workbook: Better Divorce Blueprint https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/

RESOURCES - https://betterdivorceacademy.com/reso...

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#divorce #mediation #coaching #lifeafterdivorce #divorcesupport

About John:

Today’s guest is John Nachlinger, a divorce attorney, mediator, and founder of Netsquire — a New Jersey law firm redefining how families divorce with peace and purpose. He’s also the creator of Divorce Shield, a coaching platform that helps men navigate divorce without losing their minds, their money, or their kids. Finally, he is the host of the podcast, Get Divorced Without Getting Screwed.

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo speaks with attorney and mediator John Nachlinger about his journey into family law and the creation of his firm, NetSquire, which focuses on mediation and alternative dispute resolution. They discuss the emotional toll of divorce trials, the importance of mindset in navigating divorce, and the launch of Divorce Shield, a program aimed at supporting men through the divorce process. The conversation emphasizes that divorce doesn't have to be traumatic and that individuals have the power to choose a better path for their divorce experience.

Takeaways:

• John Nachlinger fell into family law unexpectedly.
• He aims to redefine the divorce process with mediation.
• The emotional aspect of divorce is often overlooked.
• Many people don't know they can resolve divorce amicably.
• Divorce trials can be extremely taxing on all parties involved.
• Divorce Shield supports men in navigating their divorce.
• Mindset is crucial in approaching divorce effectively.
• The traditional view of divorce as adversarial is changing.
• People need to understand the emotional and business sides of divorce.
• Choosing the right process can lead to a better divorce outcome.

SIGN UP FOR my Better Divorce Blueprint PROGRAM: https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/

WEBSITE - resources for those in need of Certified Divorce Coaching and Private Mediation Services :https://betterdivorceacademy.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA - bit.ly/betterdivorceacademy

Buy my book and workbook: Better Divorce Blueprint https://betterdivorceblueprint.com/

RESOURCES - https://betterdivorceacademy.com/reso...

AUDIOBOOK FROM AUDIBLE - https://www.audible.com/pd/Better-Div...

Are you looking for answers and guidance? BOOK a 30 minute assessment consultation: https://calendly.com/betterdivorceaca...

#divorce #mediation #coaching #lifeafterdivorce #divorcesupport