In this powerful conversation, one of the most influential voices on racial justice and family therapy, Dr. Kenneth Hardy talks with Dr. Ann Kelley about the VCR Method (Validate, Challenge, Request) for navigating difficult conversations without retreating into silence or conflict. Hardy reveals how White-bodied folks and People of Color/Culture (POC) can move beyond either/or thinking by recognizing their multiple selves – the parts that hold privilege and the parts that experience subjugation – no matter who you are. 

Key insights include Hardy’s concept of “invisible wounds” – the unnamed racial trauma that affects people of color daily – and why the expectation for Black people to “take the high road” actually perpetuates harm. Through a real example from a heated workshop exchange with a white student, Hardy demonstrates the VCR approach in action, showing how validation, strategic challenge, and clear requests can keep us connected through rupture rather than defaulting to our most activated, subjugated responses.

This episode offers practical tools for therapists and anyone seeking more authentic, healing-centered conversations about difference in general and particularly, race and privilege. Hardy’s framework challenges us to develop both a racial lens and a clear sense of our racial selves, moving from fragility toward the courage to stay in relationship even when conversations get difficult.

05:13 Invisible wounds and racial trauma

Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy is a Clinical and Organizational Consultant at the Eikenberg Institute for Relationships in Newark, DE, where he also serves as Director. He is also the Founder and President of the Eikenberg Academy for Social Justice. He provides Racially Focused Trauma Informed training, executive coaching, and consultation to a diverse network of individuals and organizations throughout the United States and abroad. He is a former Professor of Family Therapy at both Drexel University in Philadelphia, and Syracuse University in New York, and has also served as the Director of Children, Families, and Trauma at the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York, NY.

Eikenberg Academy for Social Justice – President Kenneth V. Hardy, website and resources

“On Becoming a Racially Sensitive Therapist: Race and Clinical Practice” – Book by Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy 

“Racial Trauma Clinical Strategies and Techniques for Healing Invisible Wounds” – Book by Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy

“The Enduring, Invisible, and Ubiquitous Centrality of Whiteness” – Book by Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy

“Some subtleties of whiteness in the workplace: Steps for shifting the paradigm” – Journal by Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/navigating-racial-trauma-part-1-203/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/racial-trauma-challenges-traditional-therapy-part-2-sriw-series-ep-3-204-2/

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