I'm seeing that it might be better to wake up earlier and do a video talk to myself earlier cuz lately the last week or so the traffic noise has really been bothering me especially the trucks with engine brakes but anyways I went to a recovery day yesterday and I was a member of the panel in the morning and afternoon sessions and shared a bit of my story and success with supported housing and how much that helped me and very happy to do that I love speaking about the aspects that are super helpful and that changed my life and saved my life and everything in between I guess I I struggle a little bit with the pathologizing aspect and also how they talk about recovery in terms of oh you can recover now as opposed to before when people were institutionalized but at the same time they're saying you went to the hospital we put you on meds we gave you a diagnosis that stripped away all your hopes and dreams and the medication suppresses you and then we put you out in the community and say but you can recover instead of receiving it in a totally different way so it's nice that at least there's a lot of programs to help people move on with their lives but our humanity is sort of stripped away in the psych ward experience and then it takes so much effort by programs and systems and human beings to get a person to feel like a human again luckily where I was placed that happened right away everyone made me feel welcome and I was just having a lot of fun and I was very lucky that way and part of it was I'd never really bought into the diagnosis I bought into all the things that would help me experience wellness and happiness and focusing on a diagnosis or symptoms whether it's true or not is not going to bring me wellness this is going to make me feel less hopeful and everything so I just sort of ignored that part largely and I remember being at a psycho education group that was a weekly group and thinking this was just a bunch of crap and I didn't really believe it but even if it was something believable it wasn't very positive even if it was sort of presented in a positive light it's like Herod we're going to give you all this jargon that you have to believe in that applies to you and now recover from that but never forget that this is what your problem is and that you have a medical problem you know it's not anything like it's lovely to say that in order to make a person feel better in a way because they're not feeling like oh I did this or anything but what I don't like is it it takes away all the responsibilities of society and how societies created to traumatize a good portion of people and then they maybe develop this symptom of mental illness and cycle here's your pill because we're not going to fix society and the weird thing to me too is that if people were never educated away from who they truly are and like even trained to go into a profession where they're going to help people we would all be co-creating a completely different world where we wouldn't have people enslaved to help people that weren't able to be enslaved to help people make products or whatever it is it's because we move away from ourselves that we need to create all that hoopla but I could go on and on about that forever and that's not something that's likely to change anytime soon and I would never want to take away anything from anyone that anyone found helpful I have found having a diagnosis helpful because it gave me certain help and I met amazing people along the way and I wouldn't change that but I also feel like it probably could have been avoided or received differently and maybe one day it will be maybe one day people will be asked well what do you think's happening for you and they'll say well this happened and this happened and this happened and all these terrible things happen and now this is where I'm at and a person won't be like well that means you have a mental illness just look at all the stuff that happened and so I've been fortunate because

today after I made a couple videos in the morning I went out to starbucks I wanted to go for a walk and sit in the park when I got to the park the whole playground I've been ripped up and there was some kind of big machine digging so I thought oh man now I can't sit in the park so i sat in starbucks and i was editing my videos and I was definitely experiencing some body pain that sometimes happens when I get into those other states of consciousness I had a bunch of strange perceptions as well then I ended up sitting outside and talking to a friend of mine same friend that talked me through my last psych ward experience and talked with me almost every day it was super helpful who talked for over an hour and it was really helpful as well seems we're both a little bit fearful of going down the path of pathology again and so we're both very aware of becoming too stressed out to the point where then we might be perceived as needing to be pathologized and then I finish watching the interview of Katie motormen dr. David Liu cough and he was saying that a lot of his work is around helping people to avoid being pathologized and he was saying how a mystical experience has an overlap with psychotic features and how if a person ends up in the psych ward they're going to be moved towards the psychotic features whereas if somebody manages to avoid the psych ward and and is able to get support in a different way that isn't pathologizing then it might be more of a mystical experience so it seems that whatever paradigm a person is viewed by is sort of what collapses the wave function of what it is that the person ends up being interpreted as so in that way I feel it's important to do everything I can to avoid being pathologized I want to go home I thought to put this on on my wrist and it's a zap strap and sort of reminding me that I can anchor myself somewhere and I won't keep it on all the time but I feel that right now just in the state that I'm in this is almost a reminder that I can keep myself safe and I also thought of it today where it's handy to have that one around like this so then when I find a place I want to keep myself then I just go like this with the actual item and then put in and then I'm stuck to the item whereas if I just have this part like this I might be able to slip my hand out when I actually fasten myself to something so this really keeps me stuck somewhere and this is almost like my version of the semicolon tattoo this is like I want to live I don't want to die and I don't want to be pathologized either so if I can keep myself safe where I am maybe I won't be led to the psych ward I also have my little DNA tangler which gives my hand something to do a little bit and I also found a bunch of crystals that I might carry around so I'm feeling like I need to protect myself as what the theme seems to be and I also have this hat that sometimes I wear it's not very attractive but it has the material the blocks EMF sometimes when I'm feeling super sensitive I feel like I need to protect my brain signals maybe be better to protect my heart and I remember reading one time that what goes wrong with our car is sort of congruent to our life and I remember one time that I left my lights on for like two hours and I came back and my car started I thought I can leave my lights on like I can leave my lights on i can I can light things up in a way and my energy is not going to die and then yesterday my car started and it started really rough and it was shaking when it was idling at the lights and I'm thinking to myself my car is trembling too just like my nervous system is sort of trembling and fearful my car is trembling too at the same time so i need to get my brother to look at my car and I made some more notes when I was editing videos and walking around and I was thinking about what we've been programmed to make salient which is fear and the ego and whatever our dopamine circuits ask for and I'd really like to make laughter mor

so usually we have to be in that fear state a fighter flight or freeze in order to have that heightened awareness of being ready to act without thinking and so it's a higher energy state because the ego has been disabled temporarily and our senses are heightened and it seems like that's full attention and we are called to pay full attention to this moment whereas normally we're not fully paying attention to this moment we're sort of thinking about something else so baiting something else so it's really that attention in the moment that gives us access to that more energy and more able to perceive and I feel that's part of why I can process things holistically a lot of times is because I'm really paying attention i'm not thinking about other stuff and if i was to take a medication it would stop that energy it sort of de energizes that process i wonder i wondered before if antipsychotics partially work by making a person gain weight i gained 50 pounds in two months so gaining weight would make one bigger heavier change one's posture to sort of come down lower as opposed to say going into like a higher energy state of psychosis so it could also be to do with gravity because they don't really understand how it works anyway so it's this laziness of perception this inattention that causes us to form habits because we have to make ourselves into sort of these programmed habits so we can be up in our heads thinking about stuff but if we're actually attentive in the moment we just see an act it's sort of like thinking about how if I wake up in the morning I get up and I have breakfast I don't say okay now I have to go to the bowl and put the cereal in blah blah blah blah blah maybe some people do that but my mind doesn't say anything it's just a knowing ness and then acting that that's what I go and do whereas most people would probably think okay well now it was time I think I should get up now now it was time for breakfast we think that because that's going on that actually is what makes us get up and go but it's just sort of like abstracting and commentary so this commentary in our own voice is what weakens us cuz usually we're saying things that will weaken us and I was thinking about how more information being processed might be felt as fear because normally that's the reflex if we're processing more information we're in fight or flight that's the usual way so I'm almost sensing with my job thing that when I look at that document that's like I sense all the implications and processing more information and it gives me a sensation of so-called anxiety and we don't know how to process more information we don't necessarily know where the information is coming from and I'm wondering if that's why Krishnamurti says we must be free of fear because we're in this attentive state it could be interpreted as fear because we're being attentive and so we must be attentive without fear instead of attentive because we're in the state of fear to really be attentive I thought of a quote if I'm not living according to my heart I'm going to need medication for my brain and I was thinking in terms of the reflex of psychological crisis or distress or psychosis where a person sort of goes around doing all this different behavior for a certain period of time and it's almost like gesturing out that and that's hopefully so people notice but it's also a release of energy because we're in MO it's almost like dissipating the heat and I've experienced a couple of times when I'm coming to the end of the process and I'm in a lot of fear I'm also freezing cold and it's almost like all that energy has been dissipated and now I'm freezing and often I've felt like a homeless person at that point too because I imagine that they're freezing cold and shaking on the street and so we exercise to release toxins but the universe exercises us through this behavioral gestural process to sort of get people to notice that something is happening that's not good and it's not

I'm in the middle of watching a video it's an interview of dr. David Luca and Katie motrin on Katie motrins emerging proud blog website that she's doing and listen to 20 minutes and he's sharing his story about his spiritual awakening basically that could have been interpreted as pathology as psychosis as schizophrenia and is really interesting because he talks about how he dropped everything to sort of travel around North America hitchhiking in the 70s took LSD and then had sort of a spiritual awakening experience days later that went on for two months and he talked about how during the two months he just sort of crashed with friends and and nobody pathologized him you didn't end up in the psych ward and after the two months he went to live in a cabin that his parents had that was just a summer cabin so nobody was around and they let him live there they gave him permission to live there and he lived there for a while and then he seemed to have some some scary experiences but he was there by himself and he got through it and again he was never pathologized and that just makes me think of how after my two month experience I was seeing my parents take me somewhere quiet I need to go somewhere quiet so I knew that I needed that same thing but there was no required for me to go except for the panic room in the psych ward and and so he was able to heal there and then he said he heard a voice that said be a healer and so he didn't really know what that meant so he went to go live with his parents in his late 20s and and they paid for him to take things like yoga different psychology things and just a bunch of different classes like that because he was exploring being healer again they never pathologize him they never said he dropped out of Harvard they never said why don't you go get a job they let him explore and then after about six months of all that he realized he wanted to become psychologist so we did go back to school so was a long way around to go back to school but he ended up finding what it was he was passionate about and going back to school with that and to me it's exactly what needs to happen for people and I've even told this to some family groups that I've shared with when a person's going through a crisis it's even more important to just be unconditionally loving and let that person explore what they need to explore because as Sean Blackwell said bipolar disorder can also be called I can't be me disorder so it's really important for a person to feel like they can start to explore and rediscover who they are and what they really wanted to do and what they're all about and so he luckily had parents with the means to do that and the understanding because some parents with the means wouldn't necessarily understand and so he fully got through everything without ever being pathologized and I think that's more of a miracle then how it usually is for people usually people somebody pathologize as them and leads them into the psych ward or something like that and that's what happened to me I'm it's interesting because today I'm supposed to be working but I I can't really focus on work and yesterday I made some videos in the morning then I went bowling then I came back home and I'm like okay I'm going to get some work done because I there was a few things I needed to do and I opened up the document on my computer and nothing scary but Allison I had a pretty bad amount of so-called anxiety and so I tried to work on it for a little bit and I closed it I'm like wow this is brutal and so I just started editing my videos and within a little while that sensation went away and it didn't return so I'm thinking about this whole applied kinesiology thing and muscle testing you know I could say to myself oh should I continue with this job yes or no yes or no man push my arm which doesn't work for me anyways anymore because I could think of the job and it would make me weak if i push on my arm but it's strong like nothing makes my nerv

I just ate a bit of lunch and I was thinking about synesthesia where the brain gives the sensation that isn't correct for example someone might be eating a carrot and it tastes like cotton candy and I have this sense that synesthesia has something to do with the fact that we're all one consciousness so sometimes we have that sort of experience that's not congruent and I was thinking about how when I've had an experience called dissociation in the past I feel like I'm homeless man and I was thinking that that's actually in a way related to synesthesia it's like experiencing a different consciousness as my own not just thinking I'm eating cotton candy when I'm eating a carrot it's actually feeling like I am somebody else while I am me and I don't know if that's because I'm quantumly entangled with a homeless man or or something to do with holographic consciousness sometimes I feel like a very conscious person whatever that means it might mean higher on the scale of consciousness by dr. David Hawkins he talks about how one person at a certain level balances out 10,000 at a certain level below and in a way I think we're almost like additive in a way so say there's 10 people of 10 consciousness that equals to one person at a thousand consciousness just in this example in a way in a way those 10 people are that one person at the higher consciousness it's almost like if we're thinking about it in terms of just additive consciousness and not in terms of bodies those ten consciousnesses that add up to make that one consciousness in effect are equal so it's like one person sometimes I feel like that's partly how this quantum entanglement or holographic consciousness akathisia a reaction dissociation happens in that if the one consciousness at a thousand or whatever divides in a way then it sort of feels like it's somebody else because there is somebody else at that level so when the consciousness goes to that level it can almost have an a ksiva reaction equated with that consciousness as opposed to the higher level of consciousness it could also have something to do with being called to do something in particular like I feel called to help homeless people and then when I go into that state of consciousness I feel like I am homeless and maybe that's why I feel called to help them so it could be giving me a clue it could be an actual happening could be a kiss it could be synesthesia I think i mighta just said akathisia which is different so synesthesia to me shows that consciousness is holographic and it's also non-local so that would mean that our consciousness how it is now is affecting the whole it has an effect on the whole it could be partly to if a consciousness experiences being a homeless person that's going to give that consciousness more empathy for that situation for that experience in humanity so one will be more understanding and empathetic and then not be judgmental and all that energy that goes along with that so there's a lot of different levels I can see there I was also thinking that I might be having an akathisia reaction to this job I've had akathisia before when I'm put on long-term antipsychotics and feel sort of the same I wrote down that we choose things that won't satisfy us and are not right for us because of marketing so marketing changes our focus and our attention on to something else because we've been programmed that way so normal life is like this grand marketing scheme to keep us away from our natural innate flowering that would be an unfolding and we would be satisfied because we would be who we are not searching for something else and I think whatever we're searching for will find but we've been programmed into searching for the wrong things and more on the algorithm of synchronicity which is something I will be exploring for sure it has something to do with the present moment and with not seeking and it's sort of a movement of the present moment as eternity whereas thought is sort of a movement of th

I was thinking about logic and how science as logic doesn't see how intelligence can exist beyond words we think words our intelligence its intelligence that creates words and we don't see that that difference we don't see the space in which words arise and in that way I was thinking in terms of children on the autism spectrum that are may be seen as like unfortunate and maybe less intelligent because they're less able to pick up words we don't see that there's a different intelligence in action and we don't actually see that they're kind of proving that there's a lot more to intelligence beyond words than we realize because they're able to remain in that state of play and wordless intelligence longer I was thinking too about how I talked about how children with autism need a lot more love they really need unconditional love in order to flower because they can sense what's not love it's almost like they are highly sensitive in the same way and a tantrum in a way is their meter of them realizing something's happening that's not love and so and also they're being born in a time where they're not going to be institutionalized as much and someone was telling me about how at an airport you can get a stamp for your passport if your child is on the spectrum and if you have that stamp you can go to the front of the line in checking in and you can go the front of line to get on the airplane because they realize that these children get quite distressed in waiting in lines they don't understand okay stand here now for the next hour they don't understand why they just have to stand there in a line so they'd be running all over or they'd be maybe getting upset and so they've made it so the kids can go to the front line with the family of course and I thought to myself that this is an instance it's a small example and I'm sure there's lots out there in the case of children with autism where they are able to have a different process that understands their needs so in a way it's like a redesign of reality for those children it's changing society is changing the structure of the system to support these children to be able to travel in an easier way so it's facilitating that and I thought that was really awesome and then I like to think and extrapolate well how are they going to change so many other things for these children to be able to flower in society and I wonder if they'll ever realize and be able to create the space for these children to grow up and share what it is their gift is will we even create the environment that allows what it is that's trying to flower through these children to actually flower it's one thing to create easier travel it's another thing to create easier education and it's another thing to even be able to recognize with our logical minds their gifts and their intelligence that's different than our logical minds will we be able to recognize it will we be able to support them for that to flower they have a lot better chance I think their experience is also a trance conscious experience and they have a better chance in a way because they're innocent children and they're being born this way or they're acquiring this or however it works and you can't really you know drug them up on antipsychotics when they're having a tantrum and that's what happens to people that go into trance consciousness later in life and so those people aren't allowed to flower either they're suppressed it's one thing to design things into reality so children with autism don't have tantrums and it's another thing to design it in such a way that they have the space to explore so that they actually flower not just giving them enough space so they don't get angry and have a tantrum giving them more space so they will flower in a way that surprises us maybe at some point we'll actually be able to see what it is that they have to offer we might have to create a gentler world for them and we all have to be gentler in order for that to happen and I th

I wanted to continue on with what I was talking about yesterday today is a good day to make videos because there's not as much traffic noise I think I've decided I want to quit my new job I just don't really think that working in the mental illness paradigm is energetically good for me logically I'd love to participate and be able to work to logically slowly but surely make change but I think that's slow because it's appealing to logic and its trying to oppose the logic of the system that's already there and words competing with words is sort of a very slow process and it feels strange because at this moment I'm still staying well I'm still managing to stay well and there would be me withdrawing at a point where I'm still well versus waiting until I go downhill in a way it could be good because I'm quitting when I'm at sort of the pinnacle of my career in peer support not that I won't continue with it in another fashion it's just I don't know if it fits well within the mental health system and even if it does I don't know if I fit well in that role in the mental system because I really don't feel it's helpful for people to be pathologized like that and of course they have the recovery movement and things but within the system it's still about here's your pathology now recover from your pathology we just gave you instead of starting from a different point and I'd rather start from that different point I think because being immersed in that other viewpoint doesn't really allow me to arise in relationship as I would like to so i talked about how in certain states of consciousness we more so arise in relationship we are what we arise as in that relationship so by being related to the mental illness paradigm I'm arising in relationship to that and it's in contradiction with my belief system and my value system and not that there's not a place for that but it to me is weakening it weakens me at weakens people and and so if I was to participate in some different that was more strength based I would be able to arise in relationship to that strength based paradigm or experience or situation and I love it when people are doing well and doing strength-based positive things that really gives me energy and it's not that people don't do that within the mental illness paradigm it's just it's just a different reference point it's just a different vantage point and and it just it really bothers me I think maybe largely in part because with all this self dialogue that I've done I just really don't believe that because I don't believe it of myself so I don't believe it's true for other people even if they believe it's true I don't believe even if there is an element of truth I don't believe in labeling people so early maybe if people were given open dialogue for six months and then labeled maybe most people wouldn't need a label at that point or their label would be lesser and they would get appropriate help but there's such an emphasis on this immediate labeling of people in order to get them on the immediate medication and doesn't mean don't put someone on medication to calm them down or keep them able to to be able to hold whatever experience they're having while moving towards new context and understanding and dialogue but people aren't given that our d so they're medicated and basically told to be quiet not really told to be quiet but there's no real listening ear that's where I think something like emotional CPR could come in very helpful as well as I was even thinking it'd be cool if a bunch of people were trained in it to have an ecp our day we're on a certain day people could come and speak to people in the ECP our way and then that person will be able to practice their ecp our skills and to really create a community of practice and a community of dialogue in that way so even if certain people who came to be the people receiving the ECP our ear they would start to think in different ways just by the way the dialogue was happening and

I was thinking about the algorithm of say Amazon how if you buy something then they suggest other things you might like and so it's like the computer saying oh you might like this and I was thinking how that's sort of parallel in a way to synchronicity and how it's almost like actuality saying oh you might like this or remember does this resonate with you it's like trying to match you with things that you would move toward which is similar to the amazon thing because i actually shipped a gift to somebody on my amazon account and then that person who i ship that gift to had that gift pop up in there amazon feed which was interesting because it wasn't purchased under there amazon account but what would have matched was the address so that's very clever because it's taking it's calculating that this person received this item so they probably like similar items to this item but it actually popped up this item and I just thought that is an interesting computation that's an interesting algorithm to match the receiver of something their address and then start popping that item up in their feet and their their ideas of what they might like and you might think well that's not that interesting but to me I was just thinking those algorithms are getting more and more and more and more complex and then I think about how actuality must be based on some kind of algorithm and synchronicity in a way is kind of similar it's like we'll hear something you might like here's something you might want to follow here's something you might want to move toward and so I was wondering what is the algorithm for synchronicity if programmers can figure it out to create this algorithm to present stuff in front of us on our electronic devices what is it that allows us to step into a place or a path or a pathless path where one good thing shows up after another now if you think about Amazon and you think okay if I was to buy something that I wasn't interested in like a bag of nails and then the next day I go and I buy you know some DVD that I'm not really wanting to watch well and I keep going with that process eventually amazon is only going to give it me suggestions or very quickly it's only going to be giving me suggestions that I don't even want I'm not even interested in them because I was just buying stuff I didn't even want anyway so it's thinking about how we're that way in our daily life in a way if we have a job we don't like we have our surrounded with stuff we don't really want any more and we have friends we maybe don't resonate with anymore the universe is just going to keep giving similar suggestions because that's sort of what we've been choosing all along and so the opposite of that would be to always move toward things that we are[Music] joyful about happy about make us laugh etc and so that would likely lead to that showing up for us in our life so it's almost like what we choose is the algorithm what we put our attention on is what we give our energy to and that our energy is actually our main currency we use that currency in order to earn money so if we're putting that currency and that's how we're earning money and then we're spending that money which we earned with that level of energy we're only bringing in that level of energy even if we bought something maybe that we did like so I just thought it was interesting how we do that online we buy what we want and then things pop up and suggest on Facebook or whatever that oh we might like something similar but in life we often choose the things that we are not really that interested in that we don't like and then we're wondering why the same things pop up just look at the algorithms of the computer so that we probably work the exact same way so I really wonder what the algorithm of synchronicity is I think it would have something to do with energy I think it has something to do with movement because when I have had the most synchronicities I was on the move I was not sitting around I

I've been having a different couple of days I use the word different instead of rough on purpose and I'm wondering if this change is an opportunity for me to talk about what I'm sensing and feeling using some of the language that I unfolded and created some of the different memes and different ways of viewing and interpreting experience so it's probably been about it's probably been about four or five days since I had some kind of energetic shift and it feels like I'm processing things differently that could be called distress or things breaking down I've noticed that I'd like to reframe and say that I'm processing different and since it's sort of a downshift and processing in a way it feels supposedly not as good or and the difference in processing is interesting I feel like I don't want to be alone feel like I want to be relational and I also feel very sensitive to noise so my my senses are quite heightened and so that adds to stress and if I'm already a little bit stressed out then it's quite additive and I think I've talked about the noise where i live in other videos but it's not super bad right now because evening and it's a weekend but I spent Tuesday and Wednesday just trying to avoid the noise i went to a quiet park then i went to a library when i got cold and the next day I had a meeting in a quiet building I just stayed in the quiet building until I had to leave and then I went to the library again and I was feeling really what would be called may be anxious but i guess it felt like energy being stirred up and and it was there for sure when I was at the building and then when I went to the library I saw somebody that I know when acquaintance from the clubhouse and we ended up chatting for probably about an hour and at first I was talking about how I wasn't doing as good as well or something and and then we were just talking about whatever and then after I left after that our I had to go and share my story for my job and that energy had completely dissipated and I was thinking to myself it's like Oh a one-hour dose of that person makes that go away because I haven't yet taken any PR ends or anything like that I would if it gets to the point where i'm feeling really fearful but if it's just uncomfortable then then I just stay with it and wait for it to pass so one hour dose that person made that feeling go away and then I drove and share my story for an hour and i think it was sort of the best i had ever done at sharing my story and it was a small group of like six or seven people but I was like really energetic and enthusiastic and I shared my story very well I can't really remember what I said but I just thought that oh that one that went well and it was sort of surprising in a way because of how I was feeling just an hour before and to me that relates to the relational thing wanting to be relational and and also an hour with that person before was relational so on one hand I need quiet from noise it doesn't have acquired from people talking or being near people it's like almost the wrong type of sound being alone hearing traffic noise all the time versus being with people and hearing people noise it's like the opposite and so and two days earlier on along the Tuesday because the thursday i shared my story i had shared my story on the tuesday and i felt like i wasn't feeling uncomfortable or like i did a bad job or anything but I just felt like oh that was I didn't feel that energy from that exchange between me and the group I guess maybe I didn't make that connection somehow and it just was like not as good in comparison to how I did on the Thursday even though I can't really remember what I shared at each of them and interestingly enough a woman at the Thursday group shared that her loved one is connected with altruism and empathy and very sensitive to other people as well I really do feel it's like a different line of intelligence it's a different sensitivity that people develop and then it makes them not acti

I wrote down something kind of interesting when I was editing my last video and maybe I'll just read it first and then talk a bit about it and the first bit of it isn't really as interesting to me as the last bit but here I go by remo tioning as the ego it destroys the brain by non-movement by the universe kind of like bedsores when a person is bedridden and unable to move physically we are blinded by our emotions so much of the same emotion causes re motion in the brain the same motions over and over again and we're not receptive to the movement of the universe which is always knew since the receptors of emotions are hijacked and we're over producing receptors of same old emotions all the time instead of having access to the wide spectrum of emotions and experiences and I was thinking about the epigenetics of perception and how if we were perceiving holistically with the universe and being repattern by the universe as we unfold with direct perception we'd always be creating new molecules of emotions we'd be creating different kaleidoscopes and variations all the time not the same ones by r.e.m oding Andrey motion in the brain so when I was thinking about the epigenetics of perception and how perception is required for epigenetics because there has to be some kind of signal on the outside of the cell for that to be happening on the inside of the cell when we perceive something we make a new molecule I feel that if we were to perceive in the kaleidoscopic Shin we would always be making new molecules and I think the new molecules would also have to come from creating new genes so not just epi genetics but i remember in bruce lipton stalk the biology of belief he talks about what he called genetic engineering genes and these are genes that actually write new genes and he gave an example of a certain type of bacteria that was put in a certain type of medium or solution that it had no genetics for fixing that problem because it was a toxic thing to the bacteria certain vials of the bacteria they actually started producing a product a molecule that would help them deal with this toxin they were able to process the toxin when they had no genetics to process the toxin so the environment creates the pressure to actually create the gene for the survival of the organism so I think some of this map consciousness could actually be that perception that environment it's a completely different environment it's a completely different perception and that perception is changing our genetics epigenetically but also likely through this genetic engineering gene process which isn't widely talked about and this makes sense in a way because we need to make new molecules based on our perception so for having new perceptions we're going to be creating new molecules and one of those molecules come from well they could come from recombinant DNA and epigenetic expression but there's a chance that it could also create new jeans and I feel like the selective pressure to create new genes would be if it was such a rich and diverse and varied and kaleidoscopic environment that we're perceiving so for perceiving the actual now it's going to be rich and diverse and it's going to create a selective pressure for us to actually create a whole kaleidoscope of different molecules as opposed to ones that we've been habituated to creating within ourselves and I think a lot of it could be epigenetics and that's why there's such a huge shift in map consciousness so immediately because it just turns on epigenetics and we're just creating different molecules and we're experiencing different things physiologically right away it doesn't take time and that's why this other state of consciousness can't be made into a goal because it's always now it's always changing if we create it as a goal we're thinking I know what that is I know what that looks like I know how that felt before when that state is actually always changing it's something that's always arising differently we