This is your free preview of our bonus episode, a recording of the first monthly chat with paid subscribers Jonathan and Sy had a couple weeks ago. Become a paying subscriber to hear the rest of this episode, attend next month's chat on July 23rd, and get access to all our bonus episodes!

Here's the transcript of the preview of the conversation:

Jonathan Walton: So there's two things I just want to let you all know. One is that you're welcome to show up as you are. And the questions, proclivities, personality traits that you have, they're welcome here. Some of those things we not be able to perceive, but you know about that are welcome. So if you're like, “Hey, you know what I am…” I've been in calls where some people have ADHD, and if you're comfortable naming that, then we know or you give us tips for how to engage in ways that may be helpful. Like Sy cannot see very well, and so like naming for that. It's like if you put something in the chat, I'm going to be the one that's looking at the chat. But if I'm talking and you put something to chat, you may just want to say that out loud, because Sy’s not going to notice.

Sy Hoekstra: I do, I have access to the chat actually.

Jonathan Walton: Oh, you do.

Sy Hoekstra: I do.

Jonathan Walton: Okay, cool, cool. All of you is welcome. The messiness and the good stuff that you already know about. The second thing that I would say is I would hope that spaces like this, you don't just feel welcome, but you cultivate welcome for other people. So like I'm hoping that the hospitality that we receive, we're able to offer, and that this would become a sought after kind of fruitful space for people.

Sy Hoekstra: Amen.

Jonathan Walton: We may have a cool liturgy or something another time, but this is pretty casual. So I’d love to talk about and hear your thoughts on one of the things that that's going around in my mind right now is some of you follow me on Instagram, and I had just a lament around women and girls. So like I saw Butker, the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, his comments when he was doing a commencement speech at a conservative Catholic university. I was thinking about the “man versus bear” meme, and just add that the Reddit thread is long of just really hard stories from women. I was thinking about the SBC and the vote that they, quote- unquote, decided to take, but we all know that they believe the things, even though they voted against it.

And I was at gymnastics with my daughter. Like I was watching her turn into a little girl, and hopefully one day be a strong woman, and I just cried. Once you open the door for grief, all the grief comes out [laughs]. So thinking about the, it's Pride Month and how so many churches don't know how to talk about that in ways that are honoring and helpful to our queer brothers and sisters and family made in the image of God. And also the unrelenting, I mean, the algorithm has got me just like, there's just so much violence on my Instagram feed. So like Congo, Haiti, Sudan, Palestine, I'm somebody who is engaged and I'm overwhelmed, and I have tools and frameworks and all the things, but that's something I just want to name, is that if you are quote- unquote, engaged with the news and then engaged with our own families, we are not even talking about sickness in our own family, or death in our own families, or stuff that's just at our kitchen tables.

So I admit I feel overwhelmed and just wondering how you all are feeling processing the various global events and local events that are happening with you. So anyone want to speak to that, that how you're feeling processing things? Oh, and feel free to introduce yourself, because I realized we did not do that. So you could say your name and where you're at, and then feel free to answer that question.

Rana: I will respond to that. I'm in Southern California, and I am a contributor to Jonathan and Sy’s anthology, but unnamed, anonymous. And it’s been, I see you on LinkedIn Jonathan, and I see that you are really engaged. Anyhow, I know that it's very difficult for me to, you know, like just with… I'm Palestinian, and I have family in Gaza as well. Both my parents grew up in Gaza, and they were, my dad was a Nakba survivor and essentially my mom was, they left the year before, but they weren't able to return. So I still consider both parents and both families as refugees, because they still lived with the limitations of not being able to return. So anyways, but I can’t continue to consume all the news and it's just a struggle. I don't even know what to say.

I always tell my dad, my dad, he's in his mid-80s and he watches a lot of the news. And I tell him, “Dad, you were not created to take in this much suffering and sorrow and watch this all day long.” And I guess that's something I would say to you and anybody else, but I'm not an expert. I've been watching Palestinians since the 80s on TV growing up, but I don't claim to have the answers, but I would say that it would be important to protect your own mental health and well being. It doesn't mean that you disconnect from yourself. And I know for me it's also trying to show up, like I'm learning to show up with who I am, because I realize that there's a lot of pieces of who I am that have been silenced. So I feel like I'm trying to find my voice.

And if you remember, when I wrote the piece in the book, I struggled a lot with that, and that's something I've emailed you about or messaged you, but that's another conversation I just don't… I can't get to all of it, but there are things, there's conversations I want to have, there's things, but realistically, there's just, we're limited. Thank God. So, yeah.

Jonathan Walton: Amen.

Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.

Jonathan Walton: As you were sharing, one, thank you for sharing and saying things about who you are and how you show up. I really appreciate that. You all are gonna see this thing called a lead generation magnet soon [laughter], but it was literally written in response to that overwhelmed question [laughs] and the cover of it is a young woman holding a newspaper that's on fire. Like that's the image [laughs]. So just introducing this thing called pace yourself with the news, and pace yourself as you engage with injustice. So, yeah, it is easier preached than practiced.

Sy Hoekstra: This is an acronym Jonathan invented.

Jonathan Walton: Oh, it is an acronym. Pray, assess, collaborate and establish. Pray and lean into God, assess who you are, what he's given you, what's around you. Bring those things to then collaborate with other people, and then where you can establish rhythms and patterns for flourishing. And so it is much easier preached than it is practiced.

Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.

Jonathan Walton: And so definitely try to do that. Oh, David, Will, Allison, did you all want to say anything about that? Or we can go to the next topic.

Allison: My name is Allison, I live in Wisconsin, and I do have a little bit of adversity in my life as far as I'm blind, so I've had some challenges with that. But I also recognize that I'm White and I'm very well-off. I always had wonderful support networks and I'm really blessed. I probably watched too much news. I admitted I kind of watched, kind of been watching news all the time, taking in stuff all the time, and probably isn't good for my mental health. But then I also have this feeling of like paralysis as a person who is, you know, White, well off, I have this sense that I should be doing something, I should be doing something. But what? What? So it sounds like almost like by watching the news, it's like I feel better because I think I'm doing something, even though I know I'm not really.

Sy Hoekstra: Yeah [laughs].

Allison: But it’s like I struggle with this idea of when I see my friends just laying on the beach or going to a silly movie or something, like how can you engage in that frivolous [unclear] and stuff when this world is suffering, you know? It’s like I struggle with that [laughter].

Jonathan Walton: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Man, does anybody want to add on to that at all? Have similar feelings?

Sy Hoekstra: I was just going to say, this is a thing… [laughs] I feel like, Alison, you and I and Jonathan would have been friends in college, because this was like a thing we [laughs] constantly... People were like, ‘Why don't you just like chill out a little bit?” And we were like, “No!” [laughter].

Jonathan Walton: It’s true. I was not mellow at all [laughter]. David, were you going to say something?

David: Yeah, no, I'm just going to say I appreciate that and feel that myself. And I also recognize that sort of feeling like the world is my responsibility is part of the White supremacy that's all around us.

Sy Hoekstra: Amen, David [laughs].

Jonathan Walton: There we go.

David: That's [unclear] like why is the world my responsibility? So sort of like how to gage, what is mine to do and what is not mine to do is, I just find it's really a hard thing that I struggle with trying to figure out how that works.

Jonathan Walton: Yeah. I mean, David just went there, so let's hang out in that water.

Sy Hoekstra: Yeah, let's do it [laughs].

Jonathan Walton: I do think it’s… I was just teaching a workshop yesterday to about 60 college students. And I run cohorts around these things, and it is a very interesting question when someone says, “I want to do something about X,” and we just stop and ask, why. Like why do you wanna do that? Oftentimes, what I've noticed is that there's a role that we think we're supposed to play. And then we have to ask, “Well, why do I think I have to play that role?” And then you keep asking why, and usually it ends up at some systemic ideology that has been trickled in. So for me, I'm not White, but the way I participate in White supremacy is, there's this book, there's an essay in, it came out in like, I think like 1909, and it's about the White man's imaginations of the negro.

So there's like the brute, the thug, the vagrant, the deviant. And essentially, when Black people participate in these tropes, we participate in White supremacy. And one of the things that I noticed about myself is that my desire to save and to be responsible is to be seen as one of the good ones and not to be seen as lazy. Which is downstream of the same system. I'm still not free. It's just an acceptable, socially acceptable way of showing up when the vice is kindness, but it's not coming from a place of freedom in that way. And the gospel liberates us from trying to be masters. So both of us, for different ways, are trying to be masters. To control.

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