Holiday Anxiety: The Pressure to “Be Okay” (and Why It Makes You Feel Worse)

Do you feel like you should be happy, grateful, and “all good” during the holidays… but inside you feel anxious, numb, low, or overwhelmed?

In this episode of The Restored Minds Show, licensed therapist Matt Codde, LCSW talks about the hidden pressure to be okay during the holidays — and how forcing yourself to feel a certain way actually intensifies anxiety, OCD loops, and emotional pain.

Matt explains why comparing your inner world to everyone else’s highlight reel (or to how you “used to feel” in past holidays) keeps you stuck, and how learning to allow your current state—without self-judgment—can actually help your nervous system settle and heal.

If this season feels heavier, lonelier, or more stressful than you expected, this conversation will give you permission to be where you are, while still moving toward freedom.

🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

✅ Why the pressure to “be okay” during the holidays makes anxiety worse

✅ How resisting your current emotional state prolongs suffering

✅ The paradox of trying to force happiness, joy, or gratitude

✅ Why it’s okay if this season feels harder than past years

✅ How to allow your emotions without collapsing into isolation

✅ A healthier way to move through the holidays with self-compassion and honesty

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal

📥 Free Assessment & Recovery Resources

Start your journey to freedom from OCD, anxiety, and chronic stress.

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/start

📖 From Stuck to Unstuck (Book)

Practical tools to overcome fear and reclaim your life.

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book

🌱 Programs & Support

For step-by-step guidance on breaking the loop.

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com

🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support

👉 YouTube: / restoredminds

👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD

👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30

💬 Ask a Question for a Future Episode

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessment

Follow Matt Codde, LCSW

🔹 Instagram: @mattcodde_lcsw

🔹 TikTok: @restoredminds

🔹 Facebook: OCD Support Community

📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!

⏱️ Timestamps00:00 – The pressure to “be okay” during the holidays01:30 – When joyful activities no longer feel joyful03:25 – The paradox: resisting emotions makes them stronger05:10 – “Will I ever feel normal again?”07:00 – Why it’s okay to feel how you feel09:30 – Releasing the pressure and returning to emotional honesty⚠️ DisclaimerThis content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For personalized help, consult a licensed professional.

Do you ever feel like you’re always “the responsible one,” “the fixer,” “the overthinker,” or “the good one” — and you can’t turn it off?

In this episode of The Restored Minds Show, licensed therapist Matt Codde, LCSW unpacks the idea of personas — the masks we learn to wear to feel safe, accepted, and in control. Matt explains how these roles are often deeply tied to OCD, anxiety, and panic loops, and why living from a persona instead of your true essence leaves you exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from yourself.

If you’ve been stuck in overthinking, people-pleasing, or perfectionism and wondering why you still don’t feel free, this episode will help you see what’s really running the show — and how letting go of outdated personas can be a powerful step in your healing journey.

🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

✅ What a “persona” really is — and how it forms

✅ How personas are linked to OCD, anxiety, and panic loops

✅ Common personas Matt sees in OCD & anxiety (the overthinker, the fixer, the “good” one, the hyper-conscientious one)

✅ Why living from a mask disconnects you from your true self

✅ How deeper healing involves breaking the loop and releasing old roles and beliefs

✅ Why returning to your essence is where real vitality, peace, and freedom live

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal

📥 FREE Assessment & Guides

Start your journey to freedom from OCD, anxiety, and chronic stress with step-by-step tools and support.

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/start

📖 Get the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck

Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life.

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book

🌱 Taking Back Control (TBC) Program

For deeper work on breaking the loop and releasing core patterns and personas.

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com

🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support

👉 YouTube: / restoredminds

👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD

👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30

✅ Ask a Question for a Future Episode

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessment

Follow Matt Codde, LCSW:

🔹 Instagram: @mattcodde_lcsw

🔹 TikTok: @restoredminds

🔹 Facebook: OCD Support Community

📸 If this episode resonated, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!

⏱️ Suggested Timestamps

00:00 – What Are Personas (and Why They Matter)?

01:00 – Masks, Personality & Why They Never Truly Satisfy

02:30 – The Mask Metaphor: Why External Praise Doesn’t Land

04:00 – Common Personas in OCD & Anxiety (Overthinker, Fixer, “Good” One)

06:30 – How Personas Disconnect You From Your Essence

09:10 – Healing in Layers: Breaking the Loop & Releasing Personas

11:30 – Returning to Essence: Living From Who You Really Are

⚠️ Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For personalized help, consult a licensed professional.

On this special Thanksgiving episode, Matt shares a heartfelt message of gratitude for you — the Restored Minds community.

Whether you listen to the show, follow the weekly letters, read the book, or have been part of TBC, your presence makes this work possible.

Wishing you rest, connection, and moments of genuine peace this Thanksgiving.

🧡 Thank you for being part of Restored Minds.

When Rest Feels Wrong: Why You Can’t Relax & How to Feel Safe Resting

Do you ever sit down to rest… and immediately feel tense, guilty, or like you “should” be doing something?

In this episode of The Restored Minds Show, licensed therapist Matt Codde, LCSW explores why rest can actually feel unsafe for people living in chronic anxiety, stress, or high-performance mode. Matt explains how busyness becomes a persona, how overworking turns into emotional avoidance, and why your nervous system doesn’t trust stillness — even when your life looks “successful” on the outside.

If you feel restless when you slow down, or you only allow yourself to rest when you’ve “earned it,” this episode will help you understand what’s really going on underneath and how to start re-teaching your body that it’s safe to stop.

🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

✅ Why resting can feel wrong, unsafe, or undeserved

✅ How chronic busyness and overachievement become coping strategies

✅ The link between stored emotions, anxiety, and the fear of slowing down

✅ Why “real rest” is not distraction, numbing, or constant noise

✅ How rest surfaces what’s been running in the background emotionally

✅ Practical mindset shifts to start feeling safer with stillness and rest

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal:

📥 FREE Recovery Guide

Start your journey to freedom from OCD and anxiety with expert tools and step-by-step guidance.

👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start

📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to Unstuck

Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life.

👉 Buy now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT

🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support:

✅ Subscribe to our YouTube channel for weekly episodes, tools, and coaching content.

👉 https://www.youtube.com/restoredminds

✅ Leave a Review on your favorite platform to help others discover this life-changing content:

👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD

👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30

✅ Ask a Question for a future episode:

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessments/2147654461

✅ Download the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book

Follow Matt Codde, LCSW on Social Media:

🔹 Instagram: @mattcodde_lcsw

🔹 TikTok: @restoredminds

🔹 Facebook: Matt Codde - Restored Minds

📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – When Rest Starts to Feel Wrong

01:20 – Fight-or-Flight and Why Rest Feels Unsafe

02:40 – The “Busy Person” Persona and Emotional Avoidance

05:30 – Overachieving, Self-Sabotage, and the Illusion of Relief

08:50 – Why Stillness Brings Up Suppressed Emotions

10:00 – Rest as a Requirement, Not a Reward

11:40 – How to Begin Practicing Real Rest

⚠️ Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For personalized help, consult a licensed professional.

The Hidden Cost of High Performance: Why Overworking Keeps You Disconnected From Yourself

Are you constantly pushing, striving, and performing — yet still feeling overwhelmed, drained, or on the edge of burnout? In this episode of The Restored Minds Show, licensed therapist Matt Codde, LCSW breaks down how “high performance” can secretly turn into emotional avoidance…and the real cost of living that way.

You’ll learn why overworking becomes a socially praised escape, how emotional suppression impacts your health, and what steps you can take to reconnect with yourself before your body forces you to stop.

If you’re a high-achieving professional, parent, creative, or leader who’s burning the candle at both ends, this episode is a grounded reminder: productivity can’t replace presence. And running from your emotions always catches up.

🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ How high performance becomes a form of emotional avoidance

✅ The connection between overwork, burnout, and suppressed emotions

✅ Why your body eventually “says no” when you ignore internal signals

✅ Early warning signs your emotional tank is overflowing

✅ How to shift from overworking → authentic alignment

✅ What it really means to take care of yourself internally

🚀 Resources to Support Your Healing:

📥 FREE Recovery Guide

Begin your journey to freedom from stress, fear, and overwhelm.

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/start

📖 Get the Book — From Stuck to Unstuck

Learn how to break the emotional patterns that keep you stuck in fear and pressure.

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/book

🎧 Subscribe & Stay Connected

👉 YouTube: / restoredminds

👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD

👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30

📬 Ask a Question for a Future Episode

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessment

Follow Matt Codde, LCSW

🔹 Instagram: @mattcodde_lcsw

🔹 TikTok: @restoredminds

🔹 Facebook: OCD Support Community

📸 If this episode resonated, share it on Instagram Stories & tag us!

⏱️ Suggested Timestamps:

00:00 – When High Performance Becomes Avoidance

01:30 – The Lie of “I Don’t Have Time for Emotions”

03:45 – What Happens When Your Body Finally Says No

05:10 – Burnout, Irritability, and the Emotional Cost of Overwork

07:20 – Why External Validation Can’t Fix Your Internal State

09:15 – The Signs Your Emotional Tank Is Full

11:40 – How to Rebuild Alignment and Emotional Balance

Disclaimer:

This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical or psychological advice. For personalized support, consult a licensed professional.

Why You’re Not Feeling Better Yet | The Real Reason You Stay Stuck in Anxiety & Stress

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I not feeling better yet?”

You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, tried the coping tools — but somehow, the anxiety or heaviness still returns.

In this episode of The Restored Minds Show, licensed therapist Matt Codde, LCSW reveals why most of us stay stuck: we’re trying to avoid or fix our emotions instead of learning how to feel and release them.

Matt breaks down how resistance, distraction, and over-effort actually keep you trapped in the same emotional loop — and how true healing begins when you stop running from discomfort and start transforming your relationship with it.

If you’ve been working hard on yourself but still don’t feel peace, this conversation will help you see exactly what’s missing.

🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ Why you might not feel better — even after doing “all the right things”
✅ How resistance and distraction keep you stuck in suffering
✅ The role of lower emotions (fear, guilt, anger, shame) in anxiety and stress
✅ How to confront and release emotions without fighting them
✅ Why real healing comes from awareness, not more effort
✅ Practical insights to shift from avoidance → acceptance → peace

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal

📥 FREE Recovery Guide
Start your journey to freedom from OCD, anxiety, and chronic stress with expert tools and step-by-step guidance.
👉 Download now

🎧 Join the Free Newsletter – The Feel Better Letter
Get weekly audio insights from Matt on releasing fear and finding peace.
👉 Subscribe here

📖 Get the Book – From Stuck to Unstuck
Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your life.
👉 Buy now on Amazon

🔹 Follow Matt Codde, LCSW

Instagram: @mattcodde_lcsw
TikTok: @restoredminds
Facebook: OCD Support Community

📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Why You’re Not Feeling Better Yet
00:02:00 – The Real Reason You Avoid Emotions
00:04:50 – How Resistance Keeps You Stuck
00:06:45 – Learning to Feel Instead of Fix
00:08:50 – The Key to Real Emotional Healing

⚠️ Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For personalized help, consult a licensed professional.

When Personal Development Becomes Self-Punishment | Breaking the Growth Loop

In the pursuit of growth, success, and self-improvement, many people end up stuck in a different kind of loop — one fueled by guilt, shame, and “never enough.”

In this episode of The Restored Minds Show, licensed therapist Matt Codde, LCSW explores how the modern obsession with optimization can quietly turn into self-punishment. You’ll learn why constant striving can activate stress, worsen anxiety, and disconnect you from peace — and how true growth actually begins with self-acceptance, not self-criticism.

If you’ve been chasing goals, routines, or “fix-yourself” habits that leave you feeling exhausted or unworthy, this conversation will help you pause, re-center, and reconnect with a healthier path forward.

🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

✅ How personal development can quietly become self-punishment

✅ The role of comparison, shame, and guilt in chronic stress

✅ Why “improvement from fear” leads to burnout and anxiety

✅ The difference between growth from love vs. growth from lack

✅ Practical ways to shift from self-fixing to self-acceptance

✅ How to develop sustainably — without losing yourself in the process

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal

📥 FREE Recovery Guides

Start your journey to freedom from OCD, anxiety, and chronic stress with expert tools and step-by-step guidance.

👉 Download your free guide

📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to Unstuck

Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your peace.

👉 Buy now on Amazon

🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support

✅ Subscribe for weekly episodes, tools, and guidance

👉 Restored Minds YouTube Channel

✅ Leave a Review to help others discover this content

👉 Apple Podcasts

| Spotify

✅ Ask a Question for a future episode

👉 Submit here

🔹 Follow Matt Codde, LCSW

Instagram: @mattcodde_lcsw

TikTok: @restoredminds

Facebook: OCD Support Community

📸 If this episode resonated with you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – When Growth Becomes Self-Punishment

00:00:40 – The Comparison Trap & Social Media Pressure

00:03:00 – The Diet Analogy: When Change Comes from Shame

00:06:30 – Real Growth Starts with Self-Acceptance

⚠️ Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For personalized help, consult a licensed professional.

Why Trying to “Fix” Anxiety Keeps You Stuck | Understanding the Anxiety Loop

Most people believe the key to healing from anxiety, panic, or intrusive thoughts is to get rid of them.

But what if the harder you try to stop anxiety, the more anxious you actually become?

In this episode of The Restored Minds Show, licensed therapist Matt Codde, LCSW explains the paradox of anxiety recovery — why resistance and control keep you trapped in the anxiety loop, and how true healing begins when you stop fighting your inner experience.

If you’ve been coping, managing, or constantly searching for ways to feel “less anxious,” this episode will help you understand why those strategies backfire — and what to do instead.

🧭 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

✅ Why trying to stop or fix anxiety keeps you stuck in the anxiety loop

✅ How resistance fuels intrusive thoughts and panic

✅ The truth about emotions — energy in motion, not a problem to fix

✅ Why coping and managing aren’t real recovery

✅ The key shift that breaks the anxiety loop for good

✅ How to start allowing, not resisting, so healing can unfold naturally

🚀 Resources to Help You Heal

📥 FREE Recovery Guides

Start your journey to freedom from OCD, anxiety, and chronic stress with expert tools and step-by-step support.

👉 Download your free guide

📖 Get a Copy of Our Book: From Stuck to Unstuck

Learn practical strategies to overcome fear and reclaim your peace.

👉 Buy now on Amazon

🎧 Subscribe & Connect for More Support

✅ Subscribe for weekly episodes, tools, and practical coaching

👉 Restored Minds YouTube Channel

✅ Leave a Review to help others discover this content

👉 Apple Podcasts

| Spotify

✅ Ask a Question for a future episode

👉 Submit here

🔹 Follow Matt Codde, LCSW

Instagram: @mattcodde_lcsw

TikTok: @restoredminds

Facebook: OCD Support Community

📸 If this episode helped you, share it on Instagram Stories and tag us!

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Why Trying to Fix Anxiety Doesn’t Work

01:00 – Understanding Emotions as Energy in Motion

03:00 – The Beach Ball Analogy: What Resistance Really Does

04:50 – How Coping and Control Feed the Anxiety Loop

06:20 – What Recovery Actually Means (and How to Begin)

⚠️ Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical or psychological advice. For personalized help, consult a licensed professional.

How Long Does Recovery Take? | Breaking Free from OCD, Anxiety & Stress

In this episode, Matt explains why recovery from OCD and anxiety isn’t about time—it’s about commitment, awareness, and learning to allow emotions. He shares how focusing on “how long it takes” can slow your progress, and why embracing the present moment leads to real healing.

📥 Get Your FREE Starter Pack Today!

Start your journey with expert guidance and tools to overcome fear and thrive.

👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start

📊 Take a Free Assessment

Not sure where to start? Take a free assessment to find the best path forward.

👉 Get started: https://www.restoredminds.com/

📖 Get 'From Stuck to Unstuck' on Amazon!

Struggling to break free from fear? This book provides a step-by-step guide to unlocking your full potential.

👉 Order now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT

Have a Question?

If you'd like to submit a question for a future episode, use this link:

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessments/2147654461

Here Are Some Great Next Steps:

✅ 1. Subscribe to Our Channel

Stay updated with our latest episodes and live events!

👉 Subscribe now: https://www.youtube.com/restoredminds?sub_confirmation=1

✅ 2. Get Started with a Free Assessment

Find out the best approach for your personal growth journey.

👉 Take the assessment: https://www.restoredminds.com/

✅ 3. Download 'From Stuck to Unstuck'

Get practical tools to break free from fear and transform your life.

👉 Download your copy: https://www.restoredminds.com/book

✅ 4. Leave a Review

Your feedback helps others! Leave a review on:

👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD

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📸 Share the Love!

If this episode inspired you, take a screenshot, post it on Instagram Stories, and tag @mattcodde_lcsw

Follow Us on Social Media:

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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER:

All information shared on The Restored Minds Show YouTube Channel and Podcast is for informational purposes only. This content should NOT be considered medical, clinical, or professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

00:00 Understanding What Recovery Really Means

02:13 How Long Does Recovery Take?

04:58 The Role of Resistance and Mindset in Recovery

07:23 Steps to Expedite Your Recovery Journey

Why Beliefs Are So Important | Breaking Free from OCD, Anxiety & Stress

In this episode, Matt shares why beliefs shape everything—from how we see the world to how we feel and grow. He explains how unchecked beliefs can limit us, and why real transformation starts with becoming aware and willing to shift them.

📥 Get Your FREE Starter Pack Today!

Start your journey with expert guidance and tools to overcome fear and thrive.

👉 Download now: https://www.restoredminds.com/start

📊 Take a Free Assessment

Not sure where to start? Take a free assessment to find the best path forward.

👉 Get started: https://www.restoredminds.com/

📖 Get 'From Stuck to Unstuck' on Amazon!

Struggling to break free from fear? This book provides a step-by-step guide to unlocking your full potential.

👉 Order now: https://a.co/d/1WEvonT

Have a Question?

If you'd like to submit a question for a future episode, use this link:

👉 https://www.restoredminds.com/assessments/2147654461

Here Are Some Great Next Steps:

✅ 1. Subscribe to Our Channel

Stay updated with our latest episodes and live events!

👉 Subscribe now: https://www.youtube.com/restoredminds?sub_confirmation=1

✅ 2. Get Started with a Free Assessment

Find out the best approach for your personal growth journey.

👉 Take the assessment: https://www.restoredminds.com/

✅ 3. Download 'From Stuck to Unstuck'

Get practical tools to break free from fear and transform your life.

👉 Download your copy: https://www.restoredminds.com/book

✅ 4. Leave a Review

Your feedback helps others! Leave a review on:

👉 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3NJI2zD

👉 Spotify: https://spoti.fi/46AiT30

📸 Share the Love!

If this episode inspired you, take a screenshot, post it on Instagram Stories, and tag @mattcodde_lcsw

Follow Us on Social Media:

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🔹 TikTok: tiktok.com/@restoredminds

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER:

All information shared on The Restored Minds Show YouTube Channel and Podcast is for informational purposes only. This content should NOT be considered medical, clinical, or professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

00:00 Understanding the Power of Belief

03:13 How Beliefs Shape Your Reality

06:41 Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs

09:45 Transform Your Life by Changing Your Beliefs