Disordered: Anxiety Help

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"It's not working. I'm doing something wrong. What else can I do?" 

This week we talk about urgency and impatience in anxiety recovery, and why pushing harder so often backfires.

We get into why urgency is part of the threat response itself, so behaving urgently tells your brain the alarm was right. We also talk about why "how long will this take?" has no answer we can give you, why a deadline like a wedding or a move can add pressure to the very process you're trying to ease, and what happens when a lifelong problem solver or high achiever tries to fix anxiety the way they fix everything else. We also look at self-compassion as a practical tool, and at why a good therapist never makes you feel behind. Our view here is clinical opinion, and it doesn't apply when there's a real danger.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including a first family reunion in over thirty years and a delayed breakfast after a blood draw.

Drew's book Seven Percent Slower is mentioned in this episode. Find it here:

https://geni.us/baH7N

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Is exposure therapy traumatizing? It's a question we hear often, and one that makes some therapists hesitate to use exposure at all. This week we take it on directly, with the caveat that this is our clinical opinion and not a substitute for care tailored to you.

We talk about the difference between a crisis, where your ability to cope is temporarily overwhelmed, and trauma, and why intense fear or discomfort doesn't automatically mean someone has been traumatized. We also explain when a history of genuinely dangerous events changes the approach, why trauma-informed work may need to come first for some people, and why a good clinician formulates the problem and builds a graduated hierarchy before anyone is sent into the hardest situation. We also get into how the words we choose shape the story we tell ourselves.

Plus did it anyway wins, including a first day back at work with agoraphobia, a trip away from a safe person, and a Halloween gig.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Optimization OCD seems to be a thing. Actually, across a large number of anxious people, the pull to get recovery, sleep, food, fitness, and even your own feelings exactly right is pretty common. This week we're talking about the drive to optimize recovery ... or anything.

We talk about how "I should" is an anxious thought, why optimizing can mean sending yourself dozens of daily messages that you're not good enough as you are, and why "am I doing this right?" quietly treats some feelings as unwelcome. We also get into resource gathering, tracking devices, outsourcing discomfort to AI, and why you can't optimize your way out of uncertainty. None of this applies to medical conditions that need active management, and what we share about tracking, AI, and wellness culture is our clinical opinion.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including opening the shop on an anxious Monday, a panic attack in a conference room followed by a packed stadium, and a wedding speech given anxious.

----

Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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"Yeah, but it feels so bad." 

We hear it constantly, and this week we answer it directly. When panic, dread, or intrusive thoughts are at full volume, how do you practice willful tolerance? 

This is where courage enters the chat.

We talk about why waiting to feel less scared first keeps the cycle going, why brave people are usually terrified, and why fear and danger only feel linked when you have an anxiety disorder.

We also get into what courage can look like in practice: softening instead of bracing, letting tears and shaking happen, and treating the moment you feel anxious as the moment the practice begins. A listener asks what to do when they try to induce panic for exposure and nothing happens. We share our take on that, which is our opinion and not individual treatment advice.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including a wedding day with anxiety along for the ride and a 100K ultramarathon with a heart rate scare.

----

Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Depersonalization and derealization (DPDR) can feel like not recognizing yourself in the mirror, or like living behind a pane of glass. This week, clinical psychologist Dr. Claudia Hallett joins us. She leads a specialist DPDR clinic in London and works with this condition full time.

We talk about why the experience is so hard to describe, and why that makes it fertile ground for catastrophic interpretation (“I’m losing my mind,” “I’ve broken my brain”). We get into how fear of the symptom keeps it front and center, the OCD-style loops of checking and monitoring that often sit underneath, and why some people experience it episodically while others have lived with it for decades. We also cover why DPDR is so often missed or misdiagnosed, what the word “disorder” does and doesn’t mean, and when a trauma explanation fits and when searching for one becomes part of the problem. Dr. Hallett also explains why there is no “just follow these steps” fix, and why anyone selling one deserves scrutiny.

To find Dr Claudia Hallet online:

Instagram

Website

Unreal Charity - DPDR Support and Resources

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Send a question or comment via text message

Cognitive reframing in anxiety disorders is not about arguing with a thought until it loses. This week we take some of the most common phrases we hear in this community and look at them from a slightly different angle, without trying to prove them wrong or talk anyone into feeling safe.

We work through "I'm spiraling," "what if," "I'm back to square one," "I'm a burden to my family," and "what if I lose my progress," and talk about why a reframe you don't believe usually fails. We also get into why "here's an opportunity to practice" keeps coming up, how a panic attack on a treadmill can be described two very different ways, and a listener question about the highly sensitive person label and where sensitivity ends and anxiety begins. That part is our opinion, and we say so.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including taking a feared migraine medication after hours of Reddit, and choosing not to Google a body symptom.

----

Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Send a question or comment via text message

175 episodes in, we're finally talking about medication. This week we get into  questions we hear constantly: if I take medication for my anxiety, does that mean I'm failing, or that I'll never really recover? Is medication cheating? Is it evil? Is there even an answer to these questions?

We talk about why these questions don't even really hold up, why medication combined with therapy is genuinely the gold standard for treating some anxiety disorders, and why using meds to get to a place where you can do exposure work isn't cheating anyone. We also get into what "working" actually means, since everyone gets to define that differently, why informed consent conversations with your prescriber matter, and why the fear of taking a pill can become its own exposure. As always, we're sharing our own experiences and opinions here, not medical advice, so talk to your doctor or psychiatrist about your own treatment.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including a 30 year avoidance of a trail beaten with a 15 minute timer, and a first train ride in three and a half months.

----

Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Send a question or comment via text message

Exposure isn't about proving you can sit in traffic, go to the supermarket, or make it through dinner with a friend. This week we talk about what exposure is actually for: practicing being uncomfortable, on purpose, without trying to fix or manage the feeling once it shows up.

We get into why the specific trigger, whether it's a bridge, a dentist's office, or a work presentation, barely matters compared to the discomfort underneath it, why reaching for certainty before you act keeps the cycle going, and why "I'm practicing with uncertainty" works better than trying to talk yourself into feeling safe first. We also talk about why sticking to the same few "safe" exposures can quietly become its own safety behavior, and why recovery is measured by what you still do, not by how anxious you feel doing it.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including a clogged toilet on a school camping trip and a first exposure that ended in a panic attack anyway.

----

Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Send a question or comment via text message

Once you're better, desensitized, and living your life again, a different feeling can show up: guilt over the years you lost, the plans you canceled, the people you pushed away. This week we talk about the urge to "make it right," and why that instinct deserves a closer look before you act on it.

We get into the difference between amends that actually help and rumination dressed up as responsibility, why some of that guilt simply has to be carried rather than fixed, and why the people around you sometimes owe you compassion instead of the other way around. We also talk about parents worried they've damaged their kids, what forgiving yourself actually looks like, and why living your life is often the only real answer.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including a solo cabin trip across two countries and a pregnancy and postpartum period carried through serious health anxiety.

----

Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Send a question or comment via text message

"I tried CBT and it didn't work" is a lot like saying "I tried food and it didn't work." CBT is a massive umbrella, and what you actually got depends heavily on which version of it you were given.

This week we break down what CBT for anxiety disorders actually looks like, from the older, content-driven approach built around thought challenging and thought replacement, to the third-wave, mindfulness and acceptance-based approach we rely on most, which is also CBT. We talk about why arguing someone out of a triggered state rarely works, where ERP, ACT, DBT, and metacognitive therapy all fit under the same umbrella, and what questions to ask a prospective therapist to find out what you're actually getting.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including a solo trip to a music festival, an interoceptive exposure that turned into a massage, and studying through an OCD attack.

----

Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. 

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered  is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.