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Can a Narcissist Be a Christian? 

You’ve heard of an oxymoron, right? An oxymoron is a self-contradicting word or group of words, like ‘jumbo shrimp,’ ‘awfully good,’ and ‘only choice.’ 

If you were just learning the language, some of these figures of speech would confuse you, and rightfully so. 

 The same is true for an interaction with a person who calls themselves a Christian but displays polar opposite qualities. It’s like an oxymoron--it just doesn’t make sense. 

But who are we to judge whether someone is a Christian or not? After all, we don’t truly know their heart.

 It can make you wonder, who are they really and how am I supposed to treat them?

 That’s why in today’s episode, we will unpack the question--can narcissists be Christians?

My hope is that after today, you will never be fooled again.

 So let’s dive in and first examine, what is a narcissist?

 A narcissist is someone who has an overinflated sense of themselves and is extremely self-involved to the degree that it makes them ignore the needs of those around them—even those they claim to love. 

 Here are some of their defining traits:

• Self-centered
• Egotistical 
• Arrogant
• Self-righteous
• Phony
• Manipulative
• Lying
• Disregarding of others
• Lacking empathy
• Difficulty with intimacy 
• Entitled
• Playing the victim
• High need for adoration

A Christian is someone who has received Jesus as their Lord and Savior. They are as the name implies--“a follower of Christ.” You can recognize them by their:

• Adherence to biblical principles
• Death to their own desires
• Heart for others
• Surrender to God’s will
• Willingness to pick up their cross and follow Jesus no matter the cost.

So it makes sense that when you put these two words together—narcissist and Christian—they seem to form an oxymoron.

And this is where you may feel like you’re losing your mind. Maybe you’re confused by the fact that they call themselves Christians. Or maybe you’ve seen them answer an altar call or go to church more than you. Perhaps they even know scripture—when it suits their agenda.

 The problem is, narcissists usually know enough to be dangerous. But their desire to give up what pleases them is non-existent.

 You see narcissists treat a relationship with God like any other relationship—it’s transactional. And worse, it’s a one-sided transaction.

 Many narcissists WILL accept Jesus as the Savior, but will not live a life for him. And that’s why so much effort goes into maintaining their Christian façade—because it’s all about image for them. 

 One of the narcissist’s qualities is a lack of empathy, but just because narcissists lack empathy, it doesn’t mean they lack ALL emotions. In fact, many will come to Christ through an emotional altar call—perhaps the fear of losing someone, or the desire to obtain someone. In some cases, because they believe it puts them in a favorable light. I’ve known several narcissists who became ‘Christians’ simply for the business connections.

 One of the things they love the most about a relationship with God is they think that a quick ‘I’m sorry’ wipes away all their sins with God, and so it should with you too. So yeah, that part of repentance works well for them. 

 They want all the benefits. But they don’t want to pay the price.

 Just like a relationship with you. They want what they want from you but they’re not willing to invest. They will paint the picture and create the image of a good husband or a sweet w