If this keeps happening over and over again — yes, he may be insensitive. But ask yourself: Did I say anything?

Did I share how I felt? Or did I just get angry, shut down, and silently file it away as part of his personality?

That’s convenient for the subconscious — because the subconscious doesn’t actually want intimacy. It wants safety.

So instead of going into negotiation mode — “Can I fix this?” “Can we talk about it?” — try this: pause. Ask your little self, “What am I feeling?” And when the answer is lost, needy, angry, scared — you don’t reach for the fix.

You lay down, you breathe, you cry, you feel. You let yourself sink back into your body. Then, only then, you open a conversation.

Not to fix. But to feel.

You say: “I felt myself shutting down. I didn’t want to. I just want to feel loved.”

You do not need to negotiate. That’s a head thing. You’re not in your head anymore — you’re in your want. “I want to feel like I’m your person. I want to feel safe. I want to feel like I matter to you in the dark, when no one else is around.”

Say the “stupid” stuff. Say the Hallmark card things. “I want to be the one you reach for. I want the wedding dress. I want to feel chosen.” Say it all.

Because those words are not weak — they are true.

And when you speak from that place, your voice will change. He will feel it. And if he’s your person — truly your person — something in him will turn. He’ll lean in.

You won’t have to convince him.

You’ll just know. And if he’s not?

You’ll know that too.

You won’t have to beg for clarity.

And here’s the truth that breaks my heart open every time:

If you were to say, “I need you right now” — not from fear, but from your heart — the right man would turn around and say, “What do you need?”

That’s it. That’s the moment. That’s what love sounds like.

On Siren Island, you’ll learn more of my tools and the exact words to say to bring love and everything you want close.

Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary.

Siren Island is here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori