Marriage means you change.

You start to open up and stand up for yourself, and suddenly you feel irritated and unsure.

It’s not just him anymore—it’s everyone—and you keep asking: what do I want?

I lost my dog and realized how much I had been ignoring my own wants because other people didn’t approve. I thought being “free” meant giving myself up.

When I finally chose what I needed, everything shifted. I stopped blaming and started saying: I need this. I want this. I want to feel this way.

And I learned that being honest is harder than being angry—but it changes everything.

If he wants to be with you, he will shift.

As long as you shift into saying the truth, the second you start laying fault on him, he’s going to back up and it won’t work.

When you have rage, talk about your rage to the women and all of us here on Siren Island or your coach, and learn how to say: I’m feeling enraged. I want to hit things. Instead of “you’re an idiot.”

I actually discovered I said to myself, “oh my God, I’m an idiot,” and I didn’t even realize it. And my husband said, “you’re not an idiot. Don’t say that to yourself.” And I went, “thank you.”

That’s the relationship you want.

You can join us on Siren Island here:

https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/

Love, Rori

Do not allow any unavailable man to take any of your time, period. That's the law. Don't do it.If he stops calling, if he stops making dates, lean back and see if that's you trying to push him out of your way. But mostly he's got to really try hard for you.And if you are not encountering men who are trying hard for you, that's because you're not letting those guys in because you really, really, really inside don't want that intimacy, that emotional intimacy, and they are too close.So you have to take baby steps by dating men who you would normally not allow because they are available.On Siren Island—my creative feminine energy playground—you'll be first to see what new coaching tools and programs come next, because you help inspire it all. You'll be able to turn all of this around. Siren Island is here:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/Love, Rori

The only way you're ever going to get the love you want is if you're able to receive it.

If you're busy giving, wanting, and chasing — there's no room for you to receive.

You're not as big as you want to be.

Leaning back isn't about playing games.

It's about becoming the kind of woman men can actually move toward.

Even if you're an extrovert with a big personality — especially then!

And you can learn this in your bones — the feminine energetics of all of this — on Siren Island. My official course and community.

Siren Island is here:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/

Love, Rori

Here's the Question: I want to be friends with a recent ex, and I know that we want different things romantically, but how can I build back the trust and support as friends when he refuses to talk to me?From Rori: All right. You may hate me, but don’t. Don’t do it. Stop it.Too much energy. Ridiculous. For your real wants. He’s a friend.He’s not going to help you. Forget it.Plus, you’re trying to convince him because he’s not coming towards you. You’re totally staying in your masculine energy for a reason.And the reason is you feel lonely, right?You want to, and you want to win too.Let’s see. Yes, you want the win of winning him over.Please don’t do it. Please step away.If I was doing one-to-one with you, I would… even in a master class, I know you’d fight me and you’d say, “oh, but he’s really a worthwhile person. There’s so many things that he could offer me. He could get me a job. He could do this. He could do that.”Doesn’t matter.He’s… like this. You’re going like this forward and he’s moving away. You’re just chasing him.And guess what? All this energy that you’re using on that is just crippling you from what you really want, which is an honest relationship.But I’m here to tell you, I know because I know this in myself.If you meet a man who starts moving towards you, you’re going to run because internally, this is all you can handle.You have to practice.You have to practice just staying like this, like a flower open and let guys come to you and try to pollinate you.Just let them come to you.If you feel scared and you start to run away, I want you to notice that.But going forward is always the losing strategy.Going forward after someone is always a losing strategy.Any strategy is losing.But you’re in your mind, you’re in your masculine.Don’t.Stay still.Being a siren is all about stillness.It’s all about serenity.It’s all about staying on your island.It’s all about singing.It’s all about you singing.If you recognize yourself here, if this feels familiar…Siren Island is where you want to be.Join me on Siren Island here:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/Love, Rori

Everything’s getting better, but it’s still not working.

What’s going on? Here’s what I really want you to hear what you’re saying to yourself, okay?You’re saying:X, Y, Z has happened, therefore it will continue to happen.But truthfully, haven’t you ever felt breakthroughs continually in your life?You couldn’t figure out a problem all of a sudden.Have you ever felt like shut down and all of a sudden you cried and then you felt yourself open?All of a sudden your dog did something cute and you went—that’s an opening.That means if some man stood in front of you, no matter how closed down you feel at any given moment, if you tracked yourself and maybe tried to tool in the moment, you could open up for that moment.Most of us have a bad habit of walking down the street, walking through life in a half dead state.You know, we’re in our heads.We are not feeling anything or experiencing anything.We’re in our heads.So we want to work on that and start feeling what’s going on in our body.Start looking at what’s around us—the grass, the trees.Start dropping our head action down into our vaginas and doing that constantly all day long.It’s a matter of…and then you will start to feel more gapsmore openingsmore moments where you feel more like yourselfwhen you feel looserwhen you’re not in your headand things not working out i i’m if you’d like to write that down like one one not work outthe only reason something would not work out would be that: • either he’s decided you’re not the one • or you’ve decided, even though he wants you, that he’s not the one • or he doesn’t want what you wantYou want kids, he doesn’t want kids.All the things that could be decided on date one.And which wouldn’t make a difference as long as you were circular dating more than one man at the same time.It wouldn’t be serial.It wouldn’t be, oh, this is good and then it falls apart.This would be good and then it falls apart.If you’re doing them all, if you’re doing 10 men at the same time or you’re open to it,you have much more chance of not leaning on any one man.And the second that you found a man amazing,it is possible that you started leaning forward.And he went, "whoops, bye!"Which is pretty impossible to happen with a man who actually thinks you’re the one.So there’s no way for you to know.You just got to keep going.Talk to basketball players.Look at sports.One minute, a guy’s falling on his face and missing the hoop 20 times in a row.The next minute he throws it in the hoop and he wins the game for everybody.Yes?So keeping track of your past no’s does not mean that the next yes no is going to be a no.It doesn’t.So here we’re back to this.If you can feel this… it’s for you.Come join me on Siren Island,where you’ll learn how to open, feel, and live in an epically powerful feminine state of being.Enter here:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/Love, Rori

The process of dating, online dating, going on dates, talking to men—that is like exposure, the psychological technique for healing anxiety.

If you’re terrified of elevators, you get into the elevator and you deal with your anxiety from a very knowledgeable place until, guess what? The anxiety reaches a level… and then it goes down, if you’re paying attention.

So as a Siren, as a modern Siren on Siren Island, learning these techniques to track yourself, you will start to heal yourself through the process of dating and being in a relationship—because it’s those moments of being triggered that are the healing moments.

So I’m hoping this is exciting you and giving you more reason to get more deeply involved in this relationship concept, because it will help heal your codependent survival instincts on all levels.

Which is going to elevate you financially. It’s going to elevate your work—because your bosses are 99% sure to be in masculine energy, whether or not they’re men or women.

Yes—women bosses are totally in their masculine energy.

And we need to open the door for you to be a leader in your field, in your feminine.

And that means retraining yourself—and everyone around you.

So this is pretty momentous.

But guess what?

It’s the easiest route compared to the one you’re doing now.

The one you’re doing now involves thinking your way through it, trying to manipulate other people into loving you and liking you in order for you to survive—which is why we choose unavailable men, men who are confused, men who don’t know what they want.

When it’s clear as a bell what you want…

Yes, it just makes me—yes—tear up here.

It’s like I’m working against myself.

You’re working against yourself if you try to pretend like it’s not important to you and say, “I’m just going to decenter them.”

No.

So what I want you to do is start noticing—with The Catch.

There are six Love Forever Tools. If you’re not on Siren Island and hearing this, if you’re not in my Siren world—get in it somehow so you can get the Six Love Forever Tools.

Those will change your life in—what—10 pages?

So the first one is The Catch, the first of the six. The Catch means awareness.

This is everything you see out there—Eckhart Tolle, being a mystic as I perceive myself, the magic of life itself, all of those things… the intuition.

Siren Island is here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/  

Love, Rori

Decentering men is about this:

Right now, you see out there a political movement to basically demolish the patriarchy in all of its ramifications—everything that it does to women who want to succeed in life beyond the typical… what is said women are supposed to do.

You know—be mothers, have children, take care of the house.

And listen—women can be successful and have everything else they want.

That is something I would love to talk about at another time.

But right now… you’re here because of relationships.

Because of your relationship with a man.

Because you want love in your life.

You want affection, tenderness… trust.

You want to give your heart to somebody.

You want to feel open-hearted.

You want to feel love, and sex, and ease, and care.

You want to feel somebody cares for you… that you can rely on them.

And oh my gosh… all of these amazing feelings that happen in a romantic partnership.

And when I say romantic—I mean something different from a friendship.

So that’s why you’re here.

And so…

Let’s talk about that.

And if you’re feeling that pull—like you don’t just want to understand this, you actually want to live this…

Come join me inside these FemState™ Studio Sessions on Siren Island.

This is where we go deeper—where you begin to embody this work in real time, in your real life, with real support.

Siren Island is here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/

And I’ll see you there.

Love, Rori

Look at all the women you admire out there. Beyoncé. Come on. No matter who Taylor Swift is with, she's going to make more money than that person. She's going to be more successful. She's a legend. So if she can have love, can you?

Yes. Of course you can.

What it means is this: you accept a man for who he is, what he is, and what he makes. And you don't make a big deal out of it — even if your subconscious tries to.

Instead, you notice the part of you that wants to compete with him, or feel superior to him. And then you ask yourself the real question: What do you want? Do you want to work? Build a career? Be home and contribute in other ways?

Here's the simple truth: every man wants something different. Every man is in a different phase of his life. Men are actually pretty straightforward about what they want. The confusing part is that we often don't know what we want.

And that's exactly what we help you discover inside Siren Island — how to reconnect with what you truly want, and create the love and life you want from your feminine energy.

👉 Learn more about Siren Island here:

https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/

Love, Rori

I want you to take your power back.

Everybody sees that differently.

So stick out your arms.

There was a guy who broke up with you once. You invested in him, and you left pieces of yourself still in him. Take them back. Just invite them back.

Just go on, do it.

Just invite back from that guy who broke your heart.

That job, that boss who said something nasty to you — just take your power back, because you left it with him.

That guy you got super angry with — you left that piece of you with him, because all that anger still comes up for you, right?

If the anger still comes up for you, that piece of you is within him.

Take it back.

Take back.

Take back that anger.

That energy. Take it back.

Grief is all-encompassing.

Feel grief with that person, that dog, that feeling. Keep the feeling. It’s inside. It’s not going anywhere.

Take the piece of yourself back.

Just take the piece of the power back. Leave the love. Take the power back.

Just do it with your hands here. Just do it like that.

Just imagine your pieces coming back to you.

Just do it this way, figuratively. Just use your hands.

Just pull it back. Pat it back in you.

Do you feel a little more filled up? Can you feel bigger? Can you just feel it coming back to you? That’s it.

If you come up with a past memory of some guy, go, “Ooh, I left some power with him.”

And just go, bring it back, and it’ll come back to you.

It’s back to you. Don’t even look for it. Just say it’s back.

Every time the past comes up for you, realize that it can’t come up for you — not that you have to get rid of the past and do tough stuff to get rid of the past. Just take the power back of you from that memory.

Take it back from the memory. You won’t erase the memory. You won’t erase the good feelings.

If you’re thinking about something or thinking about what somebody else thinks of you, take your power back. Just take it back.

On Siren Island, where I’ve workshopped this, is my official Feminine Energy community where you can get personal coaching in live classes and in writing around this practice and more.

Siren Island Is here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/

Love, Rori

If a guy says, “What do you do?” or “How’s your work?” or “What are you doing at this party?” the first thing that happens is a thought like, What’s the best answer? What will he like the most? What will turn him on the most?

That’s subconscious. 

You don’t have to judge yourself for it. 

Why judge it? But we do. We judge it, then try to shove it down.

 It’s just your subconscious coming up and out of your mouth. That’s it.

Instead of judging it, just notice it. Love it. 

Then give yourself a chance to ask: Why am I at this party? 

Am I here to have a good time? 

Or am I here to get someone to come home with me? 

To find “my man”? 

To survive by securing a relationship?

Am I drinking because I’m having fun — or am I self-medicating so I don’t have to hear my own subconscious?

Codependency came out of addiction work. Beneath addiction is pain — and beneath that is codependency. Even alcoholics discovered that understanding codependency was key to understanding why they drank in the first place. It’s the same with love addiction.

So if you’re at that party for a purpose — why?

This constant “purposeful” energy drives self-judgment and control.

And here’s the truth: men don’t respond well to controlling energy. If you want to stay in that masculine, controlling place, you can — you get to choose. But it won’t give you what you actually want.

If you’re tired of trying to say the right thing, do the right thing, be the right thing — and you’re ready to feel powerful instead of anxious, Siren Island is the space where you actually get to practice this.

Siren Island is here: 

https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/ 

Love, Rori