You already have a script inside you — from your parents, your school, your society, your religion.

But are you actually living your life on your playbook or somebody else’s?

Many women wake up in midlife realizing they’ve been following someone else’s rules the whole time.

The truth is: the man in front of you may be a partner in your life, but he is not the center of your life.

You are the center of your life.

When you begin to shift into your own center, fear comes up — because it means facing the parts of yourself that have stayed small or quiet out of habit. But those baby steps into your own gravity are where empowerment starts.

When you take baby steps, you’re not just changing habits — you’re meeting yourself.

You’re uncovering the parts that push love away, the pieces terrified of connection, the lonely places that stay lonely on purpose.

On Siren Island, this is what you’ll practice — baby step by tiny, manageable baby step, with a global community of women beside you. Together, you’ll soften, experiment, and reclaim the playbook of your own life.

Siren Island is here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/

Love, Rori

If you ever find yourself feeling invisible in a room with your man and his friends, pause and ask: Why am I here?

If this is an everyday pattern, that’s a red flag.

But if he’s otherwise a great guy, don’t force yourself into his moments with his buddies.

Instead, notice your feelings and share them with warmth: “I love that you have such great friends, and I also feel a little left out. I want more time with you—what do you think?”

The key is knowing what you truly want, not reshaping a man to fit you.

If his lifestyle leaves you aching, that’s valuable information. And while you figure it out, don’t collapse into desperation.

Circular Dating — being social, having options, letting yourself be seen — protects your heart and builds sanity.

When you stop pushing and start living fully, your vibe shifts. You feel safe, empowered, and magnetic again.

🌸 On Siren Island, we practice turning ouch into options — learning how to express your feelings without pressure, and discovering what you truly want so you’re not just reacting, you’re creating your love story.

Inside, you’ll explore tools and how-tos for Circular Dating and Empowering your Feminine Energy, so you feel good no matter what is happening — plus live coaching and community support to help you feel magnetic, safe, and chosen in love.

Siren Island is here:

https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/

Love, Rori 

If you are pulling away from him because he’s too handsome or you’re pulling away because he’s not handsome enough, ask yourself, “Okay, this is a free therapy session with a man who showed up. Let’s find out his message and let’s treat him like a good person.”

Breathe.

You don’t have to go home and wash your hair.

Just learn whatever you’re there for.

Think of it as a spiritual experience, and practice speaking to this guy you might otherwise want to shut down or dismiss.

This is where your power is: bold sharing of your actual feeling state. This is your superpower.

Can you imagine how many women in the world cannot do this—99% of them? And how many men feel pushed, shoved, and treated poorly by women? We’re not here to treat guys badly.

We’re here to find a partner, someone who gets us. And how will they get you if you don’t share what’s really going on?

The whole “high maintenance” thing is a sham. Men love high maintenance women.

There’s a big difference between being high maintenance and being dramatic, angry, or pissed off at him for everything.

That’s what he’s trying to avoid. If you tell him what you want, he can relax.

He doesn’t have to guess anymore.

Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, it’s facing our own wants and expectations.

And yet, the practice of gently experimenting, saying things out loud, and treating a man you don’t even see romantically as just a good person—it’s revolutionary.

You don’t even have to know why you matched.

Just let yourself be there. 

In Feminine Energy, what we’re really aiming for is finding what you’re feeling, what makes you feel good, and sharing that.

This flies in the face of everything we’ve been patterned to do around men… and we’re turning it all around, baby step by baby step.

Inside, Siren Island—my official course, community, and so much more. you’ll be invited into real Siren conversations like this one, learn transformational tools, and experience what it means to live in the power of the Modern Siren.

Here’s Siren Island:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

Why do we care what he thinks if you pay or you don’t pay? 

Why are you making a big deal out of it? … This is the old thing about wanting him to like us.

 I’m gonna do this so he’ll like me. 

This is not what Siren is.
Feminine energy is not about making the best choice to get the best man —  That’s not what attraction is. 

Attraction is authenticity.

Your authenticity in that moment is that you’re feeling confused. 

You don’t know whether to pay or not pay or what to say, and while you’re trying to make that decision, you’re going, ‘Wait, I’m strong; I should be able to do this,’ and all of a sudden you’re in your head trying to figure it out. 

I feel cherished and valued when he pays, but I’m nervous that if I show up like that, how is he going to take it? That’s old sh*t. Not power.

Power is: no matter how I feel, I can express that.

 No matter what’s going on for me, I can speak that. 

I do not need to try to figure out what he wants to hear. 

What we’re aiming for in Feminine Energy is finding what you’re feeling, what makes you feel good, and sharing that.
This is stuff that flies in the face of everything we’ve patterned our habits and how we act around men… And we’re turning this all around—baby step by baby step.

Siren Island is my official course, coaching community - and so much more.
Join me and bring your real situations, questions and be part of Siren conversations like this one.

Information for  Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori 

Vulnerability is scary, intimacy is scary—no matter how much we say we want it.
But today, how we shift our words to be soft, to be inviting, to be siren-y, like the Siren concept of creating a healing, creating the desire to make things happen. It’s activism, it’s girl power, it’s the inner strength of who we are as women. And yet, until we’re able to strip down, de-armour ourselves, really, we can come off as these warrior women.
If we are unconsciously acting in our warrior self, then most of us are also confused as to why men won’t come close—which is what we want.
 So how do we de-weaponize our words?

De-armor our whole selves to let a man in?

Weaponizing words starts with us asking, ‘Why?’ ‘Why did you do that?’ ‘Why did you say that?’ ‘Why that shirt?’ That is passive-aggressive.
That is weaponizing your words. And it’s a learned pattern, handed down through generations of powerlessness.
 We’ve had no choices except to weaponize ourselves in the most passive-aggressive, undercurrent, slimy, under-the-radar way of protecting ourselves and being heard.

This conversation is about unlearning all that—so that love can actually get in.

On Siren Island, Every day, you’ll have space to practice deep, feeling-based communication—for healing, for love, and for everything you want from your feminine energy.

Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori 

A man who can’t meet you emotionally… can’t. He just can’t.

But he still may be a good partner. Perhaps.

Everywhere I go—and I’ve talked about this before—I meet women who’ve divorced men, left men, or are still in relationships with men they’ve just discovered are actually clinically on the autism spectrum.

If you’ve ever watched Love on the Spectrum, it’s a fabulous show. You’ll learn so much—how people on the spectrum learn to care, to respond, to match with others… or how hard it can be to find someone who can keep up.

Because there is a spectrum.

And I’m going to say this:

We’re all on a spectrum.

All of us.

We all exist on a spectrum of how we take in information, how we process, and how we respond. We all have different skill levels.

People on the autism spectrum often have incredible intellectual skills.

Many have thoughtful, deeply compassionate emotional intelligence. They’re not less than—they’re different.

Just different than our skills.

And most of us are blind to what’s right in front of our faces.

We react instead of respond.

We shut down when we actually want to open up.

Is this something that’s showing up in your own love life?

Are you with a man who wants to love you, but just doesn’t quite meet you emotionally?

I’d love for you to join me live on Siren Island for our next MasterClass.

We’ll explore how to feel connected, supported, and truly yourself—even if he processes things very differently from you.

Siren Island is here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori 

Once you are vulnerable and somebody shuts you down because they don’t know what to do with it, you’re going to have double reactions: “Oh, I shouldn’t have done that.”

That is a clue that, number one, he might be wrong for you — he just can’t get you. But more than that, he’s simply not used to it.

He doesn’t know what to do. He’s afraid. He’s afraid that if you’re crying, it means he did something wrong.

The shift is this:

“My power, when I cried, had a profound effect on him.”

Say that to yourself. Let yourself notice — “Whoa, I just had a profound effect on him. I cried. I must have been vulnerable.”

Check in with yourself:

• Are you leaning back?

• Are you letting the tears fall freely without anger or blame?

  
  

Breathe. Open up. Stay with yourself.

Your emotions are natural — they’re part of your feminine energy. You don’t need to push or perform. Simply allow yourself to feel, to open, to let the energy move through you.

And if a man says something like “Don’t cry,” shift the story inside yourself:

• He’s not angry at me — he’s scared.

• He doesn’t know what to do with my emotion.

• But my emotion is powerful. It’s not wrong.

  
  

Say to yourself, “Thank you for being here with me while I feel this.”

This is how you create deeper connection — not by shutting down or blaming, but by leaning in to your own truth and letting him witness it.

If this resonates with you, imagine having a safe, supportive space to practice these shifts every week.

That’s exactly what you’ll find on Siren Island — my official course and community where we dive into feminine energy tools, live coaching, and powerful truth-telling practices.

Siren Island is here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

Men will tell you, "Well, how can I trust you if you’re seeing other men?" It's all just just not true.

Your grandmothers had dance cards. 

This is something new that men have concocted.

Exclusivity and It's all to their benefit, not to yours!

You want to be available to men everywhere until a man just wants you and jumps up at you and offers you everything.

If there's any confusion on his part at all, you just keep Circular Dating.

Men do need time.

They need a year or two.

So what are you supposed to do?

Closet yourself away? No. 

You talk to men everywhere.

You have coffee with men out of nowhere.

You absolutely do not go exclusive. 

If you are in a situation that is specific and you think you need to, ask me, ask one of my coaches, and we'll tell you exactly what to do, how to Circular Date without actually dating in a way that will keep you sane. 

You’ll have access to live classes every week inside my Feminine Energy Sanctuary, Siren Island — my official community for staying soft, and having the love you want.

Join us for only $33/month:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori

What we do in our entire lives is we concoct this mental strategy, we have put together a pattern of behavior that we were taught to protect ourselves.

Our parents taught us that, society taught us that, we taught us ourselves that from the first time we were hurt by exposing ourselves. 

We learned how to do everything possible to push people away and not be emotionally intimate.

And if you really look at everybody around you, you will notice hardly anybody is open to real emotional connection, and we've accepted that.

We've accepted anger and all kinds of strategies other than the reality of being where we are, loving ourselves, being in ourselves, and not being in the old patterns.

All of a sudden it's brand new, it's terrifying, He comes close. You are open. It's

like being assaulted!Go ahead. Imagine him in front of you. Imagine he's all you ever wanted. Imagine him now actually walking towards you with flowers and a ring and food and love and a smile in his face.

And he reaches you and he touches your breast. And he just says, "You are beautiful. How do you feel?"

I've never met a woman who doesn't immediately feel terrified the moment she gets what she wants.

So we want to prepare for that!

On Siren Island, Practicing Feminine Energy tools to feel your heart, your Feminine Energy and have love respond to you in beautiful ways.

Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori 

So often, we acquiesce.

Not because we’re weak, but because it’s easier.

Easier to go along with his mood, his energy, his comfort zone—than to sit with what’s actually alive inside of us.

If I just soften, smile, agree, maybe the tension will go away.

Maybe love will feel safe again.

But when I do that too quickly, without checking in with me first, something happens: I start to disappear.

And with that disappearing act comes resentment.

Tiny and quiet at first, like a whisper we don’t want to admit we hear. We tell ourselves, “I’m fine. I’m the cool girl.

I can handle this.” But under that “fine” is a feeling that never got acknowledged.

And when we keep stuffing that feeling down just to keep the peace, we slowly lose touch with our true feminine power.

But what if we didn’t do that?

What if your first reaction wasn’t to him, but to you?

This is the practice!

It’s in those exact moments—when he’s distracted or cold or unavailable—that you have a choice.

You could shrink and make it about him…

Or you could lean into your own body, your own breath, and ask gently, “What’s happening in me?”

When we respond to ourselves first, something softens and steadies. Maybe we don’t need to say anything right away. Maybe the moment becomes a cup of tea, stroking the cat, letting our nervous system settle.

And sometimes—often, even—before you know it, he’s right there, arms around you, pulled back in by the magnetic truth of your centeredness.

On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self.

Practicing Feminine Energy tools you want and need to feel your best all out GIRL life and have love respond to you in beautiful feeling ways.

Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:

https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/

Love, Rori