CAPS LOCK

In this episode, Sam's ADHD goes absolutely unchecked as she explores the experience of comparing yourself to other people. We all do it. We compare ourselves to our friends and family, colleagues at work, strangers on the internet...it's hard not to, what with the social media of it all. And everyone repeats that tired old phrase (sorry Teddy Roze), "Comparison is the thief of joy." No, like...we get it. But how do we stop? That's what today is about.

Listen to this episode if you're into the chatty/rambly episodes more than the research-heavy ones, if you're in the midst of a comparison spiral like Sam is, or if you want to learn a cool visualization exercise for bringing your manifestation to life.

Key moments:

00:35 Chatty/random life updates

04:15 Energy drinks that I *THINK* use natural caffeine

06:54 Why we’re not talking about cold plunge today lol

10:21 FINALLY the actual topic at hand lol

14:46 The highlight reel of it all

16:43 You have to take it allllll (I love this part)

19:59 Seeking validation and connection online

20:43 Selective comparison

22:32 Playing a losing game

23:37 Outsourcing your identity

27:16 It’s possible (and okay) to be happy for someone else and sad for yourself

28:25 How to stop comparing yourself to other people

28:41 Gratitude and your accomplishments (eye roll)

29:20 Writing a letter to yourself…with a twist

31:58 Comparing yourself to (drum roll)…yourself

34:27 Repeated thoughts and triggers

36:13 Using comparison as a tool to identify your values

37:36 Seeking out (instead of avoiding) your triggers

38:44 Get off social media!!!

40:06 Scarcity mindset vs. abundance mindset

41:09 A twist on self-comparison that a lot of us do…be honest

43:05 A good visualization practice

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In this episode, Sam unpacks the advice every Healthtokker and their mother is shoving down your throat: Sauna, sauna, sauna. Not only does she uncover the truth on some big wellness myths (lactic acid, detoxification, and weight loss among them), but she also shares research-backed methodology for using the sauna as effectively as possible to unlock the best version of your mind and body.

Listen to this episode if you don't sauna, if you're skeptical of your friendly neighborhood Healthtokker, or if you sauna without a goal/program (because random bits of heat here and there are not having the effect you think they are!).

Key moments:

04:24 Why recovery is essential (not optional)

05:24 The cycle of muscle tear and repair

05:58 Glycogen!!! We need to understand this

06:09 Why you should not be afraid of carbs

07:28 How our bodies process glucose

08:28 Risk of injury

08:37 How recovery impacts your sleep cycle

09:19 Maintaining hormonal health and balance

10:05 Inflammation from overtraining

10:37 Lactic acid (and busting a major fitness myth!!!)

13:48 A 30-second history of sauna

16:06 Benefits of sauna

16:42 The science behind sauna and stress reduction

17:08 Vasodilation (important for many other points in this episode)

18:35 Sauna and cortisol…conflicting evidence

20:00 Super interesting fact on how sauna can help you sleep

22:27 How saunas reduce muscle stiffness and soreness

23:36 Saunas and heart/cardiovascular health

23:47 How the sauna might improve your blood pressure

25:34 Can sauna lower your cholesterol?

26:35 Cardiovascular respiratory fitness

27:30 Frequency and duration of sauna use for heart health

29:54 Respiratory (read: lungs and breathing) health

30:38 Sauna and inflammation

32:06 CLAIMED/alleged benefits of using sauna (can’t fully confirm with research yet)

32:32 Sauna and psoriasis, other skin conditions

33:19 Can a sauna improve your immune function?

34:06 Sauna’s impact on Alzheimer’s and dementia

36:26 Does sauna help with weight loss? (Mythbusterrr)

38:35 The biggest sauna myth!!!

38:48 Do saunas actually help you detox?

40:36 How to use the sauna properly

42:29 How saunas impact fertility

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!

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In this episode, Sam sits down with athlete, creator, podcaster, and activist Taylor Rae Roman, who recently went viral on TikTok for her series "What No One Tells You About Pregnancy." They discuss preconception health, TTC (trying to conceive), pregnancy, unmedicated birth, postpartum, and more, all while it's still fresh. Like...8 weeks fresh.

Listen to this episode if you want children someday, if you're TTC/pregnant and have no idea where to begin, or if you're interested in a positive birth story mixed in with lots of laughs (and even some happy tears).

Key moments:

00:00:47 Guest intro

00:02:49 How this episode came about

00:08:14 How Taylor knew she wanted a child

00:10:50 The only thing people hate more than a woman who doesn’t want kids is a woman who only wants one

00:14:31 Where does one even start with researching pregnancy topics?

00:16:15 Preconception health and TTC (trying to conceive)

00:21:55 Preconception health for men

00:28:34 What is the first thing you do when you find out you’re pregnant???

00:33:58 What inspired “what no one tells you about pregnancy?”

00:38:26 What no one tells you about pregnancy (we cried during this lol)

00:41:33 Labor interventions to be aware of (and informed consent)

00:44:09 After-birth contractions

00:45:59 Unmedicated birth

00:47:31 The cascade of interventions (during labor and delivery)

00:48:27 Making a birth plan ahead of labor and delivery

00:51:33 What it’s actually like to give birth

00:57:34 Navigating your body changing throughout pregnancy and postpartum

01:00:45 Rapid fire Q+A

01:00:59 Best investment during pregnancy

01:01:20 Worst investment during pregnancy

01:02:20 Biggest pregnancy craving

01:02:41 Biggest food turnoff

01:02:59 Most unhinged thing someone said to you while pregnant

01:04:26 Best way to support your pregnant friend

01:05:07 What is something people do that makes your life harder

01:06:44 Best (and worst) pregnancy advice you got

01:07:40 The best thing your partner did for you during pregnancy/labor/delivery/postpartum

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!

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Today's episode is a follow-up to Sam's original sober curious episode, where she talks about why and how she stopped drinking alcohol (definitely listen to that one first—it's episode #4 for anyone who wants to go back and listen!). In this episode, Sam takes the most frequently asked audience questions, and answers them in a long, rambly fashion. On brand.

Listen to this episode if you want to hear about how Sam's sober journey is going one year in, or if you're interested in taking some time off from alcohol and want to know more about the experience before making the call.

Key moments:

00:00:37 Recap of my sober curious journey and how we got here

00:05:37 Do your friends and/or family ever pressure you to drink with them?

00:11:04 How do you overcome the pressure to drink when you’re out with friends?

00:12:54 How do you navigate splitting the bill when you’re the only one not drinking?

00:15:43 How do you fight the FOMO?

00:19:29 Do you smoke weed or do any other recreational drugs?

00:21:14 How did your routine change when you stopped drinking?

00:23:48 Do you really feel better health-wise without alcohol, or do people just say that?

00:28:45 Did you just quit cold turkey?

00:30:09 Tips for dating sober?

00:37:39 Do you ever miss drinking?

00:39:19 Thoughts on mocktails?

00:40:12 Do you think quitting alcohol has made your skin better?

00:40:37 Has quitting alcohol impacted your weight?

00:42:25 Do you have any new vices since quitting alcohol?

00:46:11 Has cutting out alcohol helped your anxiety?

00:49:03 How do you handle judgment about your decision not to drink?

00:51:16 How to overcome social anxiety without alcohol

00:55:49 How to navigate being sober curious when my partner still drinks?

00:58:46 My friends stopped inviting me out…how to deal?

01:01:22 Do people expect you to act like your old drunk self?

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!

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In this episode, Sam sits down with double board-certified plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Bassiri-Tehrani (better known online as Dr. MBT) for a deep dive on Botox and filler. What are they made of? What are the immediate health risks? Long-term implications?

Listen to this episode if you're a health-conscious girly who still wants to get a little touch of tox here and there—or if you're undecided about whether to start your journey.

Key moments:

00:00:34 Guest introduction

00:03:30 What is Botox made of?

00:03:53 What is a toxin? Are toxins inherently bad?

00:05:24 Back to Botox ingredients

00:06:39 Medical applications of Botox

00:09:00 The risk of botulism?

00:11:12 Does Botox become less effective over time? (Do we build a tolerance?)

00:14:24 A great explanation for how Botox actually smooths wrinkles

00:15:23 Preventative Botox

00:19:05 The importance of choosing a good practitioner

00:21:26 How far apart you should space out Botox injections

00:24:13 Is it bad to weaken our facial muscles with Botox over time?

00:24:33 Eyebrow heaviness/droopiness

00:27:06 How to do a “brow lift” with Botox

00:28:16 Red flags and green flags when looking for an injector

00:33:02 Filler!!!

00:34:25 What is filler made of?

00:38:18 How filler can damage your lymphatic system

00:40:26 How filler can damage your blood vessels

00:42:49 Are there any other ingredients in filler?

00:43:30 Can you add filler on top of filler if you want more, or do you have to wait til what you already have is fully dissolved first?

00:48:02 Filler migration…and does filler truly never go away?

00:52:44 Dissolving filler

00:57:03 Rapid fire audience questions!!!

00:57:10 Lip flip vs. lip filler

00:57:48 Facial threads

00:59:02 Why shouldn’t you get Botox or filler while pregnant?

00:59:32 How do Botox and filler affect people with autoimmune conditions?

01:00:17 What would Dr. Bassiri NEVER do?

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Zocdoc.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!

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In this episode, Sam turns 28 (!!!) and reflects on some life lessons she's learned over the years that she really would have loved to hear from a big sister growing up. She hits on everything from friendships to career to family to love to health to money and beyond, and some are silly, but others are serious. Like, read a book. Stop comparing yourself. Dump him. You get the point.

Listen to this episode if you could use a big sister right about now.

Key moments:

00:00 Lots of rambly/chatty intro today lol

08:07 28 lessons I’ve learned by age 28

09:07 Lesson #1

11:04 Lesson #2

13:26 Lesson #3

15:06 Lesson #4

16:57 Lesson #5

18:52 Lesson #6

23:09 Lesson #7

24:49 Lesson #8

25:58 Lesson #9

28:14 Lesson #10

29:30 Lesson #11

31:24 Lesson #12

34:17 Lesson #13

36:45 Lesson #14

36:14 Lesson #15

37:46 Lesson #16

38:32 Lesson #17

39:46 Lesson #18

40:57 Lesson #19

42:03 Lesson #20

42:26 Lesson #21

43:51 Lesson #22

46:05 Lesson #23

48:07 Lesson #24

50:27 Lesson #25

51:54 Lesson #26

53:17 Lesson #27

55:04 Lesson #28

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Zocdoc.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!

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In this episode, Sam meets with Dr. Jessica Shepherd, an OBGYN who has made it her life's work to support women's health and hormones as they age. She explains the importance of your pelvic floor (not just during pregnancy), how muscle mass improves your longevity, what we need to know before getting pregnant, and how to navigate postpartum and menopause. Her mantra is "don't just add years to your life—add life to your years." And today, she's teaching us how.

Listen to this episode if you are interested in taking care of your hormones, if you're trying to conceive, if you're struggling postpartum, if you're experiencing menopause, or if you want to be informed BEFORE you hit these stages of life!

Key moments:

00:00:35 Guest intro

00:04:48 The gender gap in health information

00:08:21 The best resources for women to seek out health information

00:12:26 What your pelvic floor IS and DOES (hint: it’s not just important for pregnancy)

00:16:25 How to actually strengthen your pelvic floor (more than just kegels)

00:18:18 How does increasing muscle mass make you live longer?

00:21:08 Does it get harder to build muscle mass as you age?

00:23:08 How your lifestyle impacts your hormones

00:25:41 Is cycle syncing real? Does it actually make an impact?

00:28:56 What should we be doing to support our hormones in every stage of life?

00:32:40 How to offset the decline in your hormones as you age

00:34:38 What we should be doing NOW if we want to have children LATER

00:40:42 What people DON’T know about trying to conceive

00:42:49 How your male partner’s health affects pregnancy success

00:46:48 How to support your body and your hormones during pregnancy

00:49:07 What does postpartum actually look like?

00:53:53 A mantra for moms struggling postpartum

00:55:30 What is perimenopause and what does it do to your hormones?

00:57:52 Menopause: what it is and how to survive it

01:01:03 The biggest misconceptions about these transitional phases in a woman’s life

01:02:10 What we’re getting wrong about women’s health

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠Zocdoc.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!

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In this episode, Sam details a viral video urging people to stop wearing stretchy workout leggings. Between that and HealthTok, there's been a lot of noise lately about the dangers of synthetic materials in our clothes—polyester, nylon, spandex, elastane, and the like. Allegedly, they're endocrine disruptors, and may even contain carcinogens and other harmful chemicals. But is it a concern that actually moves the needle, or just a buzzy conversation designed to sell detoxes and create engagement on social media? As usual, Sam gets to the bottom of it.

Listen to this episode if you're in the loop on HealthTok and always worried about a new endocrine disruptor, if you own lots of cute workout sets that are suspiciously stretchy and sweat-wicking, or if you're pursuing lifestyle changes in an effort to conceive.

Key moments:

01:20 The viral video that sparked the idea for this episode

02:43 The terrifying results of a famous fertility study

04:30 What about male fertility?

07:46 Were the results reversible for both the male and female dogs?

07:53 The mechanism by which each gender’s fertility was affected

08:19 Are synthetic fabrics worse for you when they get hot? (i.e. during workout or sauna)

10:00 The questions we’re answering today

10:52 Do synthetic fabrics impact our fertility?

11:18 Effect of polyester on human male fertility (BAD)

13:06 Did the human men ever recover their fertility?

14:03 How much of our clothing consists of synthetic materials?

15:05 Other bad things that can be found in our athleticwear, and how they affect us

16:53 The terrifying truth about fast fashion brands

18:28 How endocrine disruptors in YOUR life can impact your FUTURE CHILDREN

19:40 Your positive/easy fertility story does not invalidate other people’s struggles

21:12 US fertility rates and their correlation to the use of plastic in clothing production

23:52 Data points about the modern impact of microplastics and chemicals on human fertility

26:21 Is the adverse impact of synthetic fabrics worse when they get hot? (i.e. during workout or sauna)

28:15 Do we need to stop wearing our workout clothes?

Visit ⁠⁠⁠Zocdoc.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠.

Visit ⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠.

Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!

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Resources for this episode can be found here.

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In this episode, Sam delivers a lecture on the history of the "ideal" (read: socially rewarded) female body type. From the first recorded visual representation of the female form, through Ancient Rome and Greece, the Victorian Era, flappers, the Kardashians, and beyond, she explores the way western beauty standards have changed to reflect societal values at any given moment in time, and the implications and dangers of inflicting those beauty standards upon women. As the history becomes more recent, she reviews the current climate of social media, celebrities and influencers, GLP-1s like Ozempic, photo-editing apps, and more.

Listen to this episode if you're just a girl in the world.

Key moments:

03:41 History of the idealized female body type

04:38 The first historical record of the female form

07:41 Sylvester Graham and early diet culture in America

09:29 William Banting and William Harvey’s weight loss diet

11:54 Victorian Era England and its impact on preferred female body types

12:06 The real reason women wore corsets in Victorian Era England

13:01 Gibson Girls and the women’s rights movement (so interesting)

14:49 Flappers!!!

16:05 Old Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe, and Playboy

16:43 People become increasingly athletic, and Twiggy is the “it girl”

18:21 The supermodels of the 80s

18:49 Heroin chic in the 90s

19:06 The introduction of ultraprocessed foods in America and the growing divide between thinness and obesity 

20:42 “Slim thick,” as popularized by the Kardashians

21:45 Did you know the BBL is one of the most dangerous procedures you can get?

21:57 Social media and photo-editing apps become ubiquitous

22:23 The body positivity movement and the villainization of skinniness

23:16 Currently—people are pretending to be body positive but secretly doing weight loss drugs

24:21 Sam rants lol

25:11 Sam’s point #1: The preferred female form at any given time is a reflection of society’s current values

27:52 Sam’s point #2: Men are often in control of the narrative surrounding women’s bodies

29:31 Sam’s point #3: The body image conversation has always been white and Euro-centric

31:06 Sam’s point #4: Celebrities and influencers are the authority on what’s “in”—and they have unattainable resources and lifestyles

31:50 They’re also LYING TO US LOL

33:21 Villainizing skinny is not inclusive/body positive behavior

34:03 Sam’s point #5: We need to stop speculating on other people’s bodies at all

35:39 Sam’s point #6: SkinnyTok needs to go lol

37:00 The burden of critical thinking

37:24 Sam’s point #7: The overlap between the wellness industry and the trend of being skinny

38:36 Sam’s point #8: Body types should never be “in” or “trending”

Visit ⁠⁠Zocdoc.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠.

Visit ⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠.

Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!

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In this episode, Sam sits down with Vanessa Rissetto, a registered dietitian, Scorpio, and founder of Culina Health. They talk about the brokenness of American healthcare and how Culina is creating an inclusive nutrition economy before deep diving on all the buzzy topics we can't seem to escape in 2025. What are ultraprocessed foods doing to our bodies? Are seed oils really that bad? Are GLP-1s like Ozempic safe for aesthetic weight loss purposes?

Listen to this episode if you've ever asked yourself any of those questions, if you're struggling with food noise in the wellness space, or if you want to hear realness from someone who's highly trained and certified to advise you...instead of a healthtokker.

Key moments:

00:00:35 Guest intro

00:03:17 The couple that changed Vanessa’s career

00:06:11 The trend of protein-heavy diets and omitting certain food groups

00:08:53 Why registered dietitians are not historically accessible (+ some shade lol)

00:13:10 Sam’s functional health and supplements journey

00:14:43 How Culina makes registered dietitians accessible by leveraging insurance

00:16:56 How the nutrition and dietitian industries are not inclusive

00:19:20 Vanessa’s input on buzzy/trendy health and nutrition topics

00:20:32 Ultraprocessed foods

00:22:05 What ultraprocessed foods do to our bodies

00:23:49 How to easily identify which foods are ultraprocessed

00:26:05 Some foods that you wouldn’t expect to be ultraprocessed…but are

00:28:20 Food dyes

00:29:45 Getting in the weeds on small health things and losing sight of the big picture

00:31:41 SEED OILS!!! In CAPS LOCK bc I know you wanna know lol

00:31:59 Do seed oils cause inflammation?

00:32:38 The serving size conversation that we ALL need to hear

00:37:26 What are the worst foods??? Sugary cereals, processed meats, etc. PLUS a grocery shopping life hack

00:41:10 What kinds of foods should we actively seek out and add to our diets?

00:43:36 Why does it feel like even the healthy foods are unhealthy these days?

00:44:44 What words do you look for on food packaging?

00:48:58 Vanessa’s breast cancer story

00:50:22 Everything is a carcinogen SOS

00:52:21 How Vanessa changed her habits after beating cancer

00:55:21 Biggest nutrition myths

00:58:20 GLP-1s: What they are and how they work

01:01:51 Short-term effects of GLP-1s

01:02:41 Long-term effects of GLP-1s

01:05:00 Everyone is body positive until it comes to themselves: transparency and responsibility

01:09:45 Health tests (GI MAP, DUTCH Test, etc.) are kinda BS 🤐

01:16:55 The future of nutrition trends and the global health conversation

Visit ⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠.

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