Cary is a baby scoop-era adoptee who was born in a Florence Crittenton Home in Atlantic City NJ in 1964. Her first mother was 19 years old and was forced to relinquish her baby like many young mothers of those times. Cary had a great upbringing in a family that loved her and never made her feel othered. In her early 30s she reunited with her birth mother and then her birth father. The reunions went well for the most part, but some family members that started out enthusiastic soon became clearly uninterested in staying connected.

Even in the best situations, adoption is incredibly complex. In recent years after the death of her older, adopted, sister, Cary has been better understanding just how complex it can be. Her relationship with her sister was great—as long as she was a child. It became more complicated and difficult as adult years went by. Losing her sister, and therefore her best connection to the parents who raised her and whom she loved dearly, has brought up a lot of adoption-related issues that she hadn't really tuned into before.

What she would like people to understand most is that an adoptee can be both happy with who they grew up with, how they were raised, and the life they’ve had, while also feeling sad and having complicated feelings about the loss they started life with, and the impact adoption has had on them.

To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 13:01

Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood, by Gretchen Sisson

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
NAMI Hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or email them at [email protected]
Adoptee Therapist Directory

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