ChaseLife with Kelly

This episode features Samantha Joy, an international identity coach and publisher, such a ray of light. In this episode, they talk about being expansive and embracing your identity.

• A Brief on Samantha Joy [2:10}

"I really started to understand how my identity is shaping everything around me. It really put the power back in my life."

• Remembering Who You Are [6:00]

"It's in there somewhere and your identity doesn't need that part of the outside world. We're all human too and we can fall in that trap, and there's an awareness to bring us back."

• The Journey of Identity [8:12]

"We're on a forever journey of discovery and it doesn't mean you can know in an instant."

• The Energy of Sex [12:57]

"You get to the point where sex feels like sugar, you crave it, and then at some point, realize, you don't really need it."

• Challenges of Celibacy [15:09]

"It is rough at first. You feel lonely and disconnected, but if you are feeling disconnected when you cut off a vice, it means you are not connected to self, and that's a problem."

• Celibacy [26:09]

"It is admirable to sit with yourself and not look for another vice to go out in a different way."

• On Dating and Sexuality [33:50]

"I'm on a love journey, and at one point, I fell in love with this woman. Even then, I had shame around it. This might be uncomfortable for them."

"There's no shame in living outside the box."

• Personal Development, Self-Love Journey and Personal Awakening [41:42]

"A dark side of us could actually be our strength but we hide from them because of the stories and the limiting beliefs, and because it's been changed for a long time."

• Life As a Game [46:56]

"We have the privilege, why not use it and make it fun? It's supposed to be fun."

Follow Samantha Joy: @iamsamanthajoy

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This episode features a girl talk with Jenny Jones, Kelly's friend for almost 15 years. They talk about their friendship, dating & relationships, work life and life in general.

• A Little Bit About Jenny Jones [5:28}

"I've always done things in my life to have what I want to have and be where I want to be. We're at this point in our lives where we're stable because we've worked so hard."

• Budgeting and Spending Money [12:36]

"The money is coming. I'm taking actions. I do the things to create the income that I want and need."

• Reasons for Moving to Places [15:11]

"I definitely had relationships where I thought were gonna be the thing when I got there, but didn't. I took that much harder than it should've been. No one could've told me to act differently. "

• On Attracting and Fixing People [26:43]

"You are attracted to the fact that you could essentially be there to help them fix the things, maybe subconsciously not intentionally."

• Turning Point: The Breast Cancer Journey [34:50]

"I feel empowered that I did that, instead of doing the easier decision of staying with somebody because I was scared to be with myself."

• Romantic Involvements with Multiple People [44:45]

"Relationships could get stagnant."

• Being Friends with Exes [49:27]

"I have to make boundaries with exes that reach out to me when I'm dating someone."

• Lessons from Exes [55:58]

"There are things that we've learned from them that have shaped who we are now."

• The Journey of Unlearning and Setting Boundaries, Healing [59:11]

"I'm gonna leave this relationship and I did everything I could. I asked for the things that I wanted, and that's all the things I could control and do. That's made it easier for me."

• Communication is Key [1:07:58]

"We all have our shit going on, we're all busy. We need to ask the people around us for support."

Follow Jenny Jones: @jennyjonesyall

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PSS. - If you keep having the same types of experiences when it comes to love, dating & relationships, and it seems you continue to attract the "bad boys" or "emotionally unavailable men, click here to learn more about my signature self-love digital course Rejection to Redemption. Self Love = Self Worth, and Self Worth = Net Worth

This episode features relationship self-care specialist Jamie McFaden. She talks about the single mom's work life, relationships, sensuality, and self-care. Through Jaime's works and endeavors she helps moms all over the world practice self-care.

• Diving Deep into Jamie McFaden's Story [4:00}

"Things didn't pan out the way I anticipated. You can either be a victim or a victor of the circumstance and there is no way I was going to be the victim. I am going to approach this with the greatest love possible."

• Being Single [13:00]

"You can recognize that being single is a superpower for you."

• Our Relationships in Life [18:56]

"In life, there is a purpose to all the relationships that we do have — good, bad, different. We can actually love each other better."

• Challenges in Relationships and the Waves System [31:11]

"Relationships is understanding the waves system. It takes skill, it takes practice. What does it mean to be in a relationship?"

• The Importance of Awareness [37:14]

"I didn't have that awareness, that's why I was just going through the motions, going through negative circular behavioral patterns."

• Being a Single Mom in the Kind of World We Live In [43:29]

"Often times people feel like they're alone whether they're in a relationship or not, they feel they're isolated. This happens to new moms, single moms, even those in relationships. Reach out to someone. Let them know they're not isolated."

• The Self-Care Journey [48:00]

"Starting your self-care journey can sometimes be lonely because everyone around us operates under comfort."

Follow Jamie McFaden: @jaimemcfaden

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This episode features relationship coach and masculinity coach Stefanos Sifandos, who dives deep with us about relationships, connections, human potential, and how masculine and feminine energy affects our day to day dealings.

• Stefanos Sifandos' Story [2:47]

"Relationships can be really really difficult. What we miss often in our childhood is what we crave and value the most as adults. I value healthy relationships. "

• Being an Adrenaline Junkie to Avoid the Healing [9:57]

"We're avoiding dealing with stuff which leaves us feeling empty, and we end up filling that void. Physiologically, we're attempting to close the loop around trauma."

• Dealing with the Household [14:15]

"All these peak experiences that I was seeking were really about me pursuing pleasure to avoid the suppressed pain and unresolved trauma from my childhood."

• Deep Curiosity [17:36]

"You're never going to stop learning. You just become more curious and you want to go deeper."

• Realizing the Readiness to Commit [33:15]

"It can be challenging at times but it was in the solo work that we did that we were able to become more present with each other, and less detrimental and more valuable to each other."

• It Won't Work [37:40]

"If your partner is against your non-negotiables it will be very difficult to work. "

• Intimacy Issues [44:57]

"You have to feel safe with your body with your partner. The way through pleasure and safety for women is through the heart."

• Masculine and Feminine Energy [54:45]

"Culture, beliefs and values influence what becomes a dominant energy in our society."

• Flipping the Switch of Intimacy [1:01:45]

"Healing those original cores can be very very helpful in relieving the pressure of needing to perform."

Follow Stefanos Sifandos: @stefanossifandos

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This episode is a continuation of the discussion with clinical psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Morgan Anderson, who dives deep with us into the various attachment styles to help us understand how we can work through the challenges each style faces, heal and become more secure in who we are to attract more secure relationships.

• Avoidant Attachment and Its Difficulties [5:23]

"People with avoidant attachment struggle with reassurance. There is a lot of uncertainty. Everything in the relationship is confusing, but the sex is good. "

• The Shame in Needing Sex [13:42]

"Women feel guilty about needing it, but hey maybe the way your relationship has functioned only allows you to feel connected and safe when you have sex. Sex is one of the many ways you can connect with your partner."

• Securely Attached Sex [15:02]

"What a lot of people need to realize is that when your energy is not going to the drama or the unpredictability, it can go into the deepening of building a life and having wonderful experiences with someone. Safe and secure is sexy."

• Having the Courage to Say Something [20:54]

"In order to have the relationship that you want and make it sustainable of course, you have to tune in to yourself, speak up and voice what's going on. We can be assertive and redirect."

• Fear of Starting the Life Over [26:19]

"Do you want to spend a life of suffering for the rest of your life or do you want to go through the temporary pain of leaving the relationship? Go through the temporary pain, avoid the lifetime of suffering."

• Couple's Therapy and Uncoupling [28:52]

"Successful couple's therapy is not the couples staying together, it's doing what's best for the couples and individuals and sometimes that is uncoupling. Sometimes, that is the very best thing."

"Uncoupling is intentionally dissolving a romantic relationship, and creating a new type of relationship in that process."

• Failures in Dating [37:56]

"There's no failure in dating, there's only learning."

• Forgetting and Forgiveness [42:06]

"Your pain is valid. Your experience is valid. Forgiveness is just deciding you're not going to carry around the anger."

• Being Honest with Yourself [49:00]

"You get to be honest with yourself about the kind of relationship that you want, and how you want to feel."

Follow Dr. Morgan Anderson: @drmorgancoaching

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This episode features clinical psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Morgan Anderson, who dives deep with us into the various attachment styles to help us understand how we can work through the challenges each style faces, heal, and become more secure in who we are to attract more secure relationships.

• Getting to know Dr. Morgan Anderson [2:13]

"I knew from a very young age that I wanted to help people. Even from a young age I just wanted to help people and get to know people "

• Dealing with Pain [7:58]

"I knew that not dealing with the wound is going to hurt me again and again."

• To the People Who Are Stuck [11:00]

"We actually owe it to ourselves to stop numbing and to feel the pain that we are feeling. I am in pain and I need to change."

• Healing and Relationships [15:30]

"Some people come into your life to open your eyes to something different. Rejection is redirection."

• The Attachment Theory [22:35]

"There is a unique attachment style for every person. All of us have different pieces from each attachment style."

• Anxious Attachment [27:52]

"Fear of abandonment is very strong. You're not just born with anxious attachment."

"Sometimes we get so fearful of speaking what's on our mind and being vulnerable because they're going to think something about us and leave us."

• Dismissive or Avoidant Attachment Style [29:57]

"It is the fear that I'm not good enough or this person isn't gonna be there for me."

• Disorganized Attachment Style [31:36]

"A mix of anxious and dismissive. You might just go back and forth."

• Secure Attachment Style [36:15]

"Both should decide that they want a secure relationship. You need someone who's willing to create that secure attachment with you."

• Tips on Becoming More Secure [44:56]

"Awareness is the first step. Do a relationship inventory."

Follow Dr. Morgan Anderson: @drmorgancoaching

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This episode features Nadia Jagessar of Indian Matchmaking. She talks about dating, her experience as an immigrant and a southeast Asian millennial, cultural identity and how it affected her life.

• Getting to know Nadia Jagessar [3:10]

" It took me after college to realize how my story is unique, I am unique, and that it was a benefit for me growing up. I just saw myself as being different from others."

• The Indian Matchmaking Opportunity [5:06]

"I've got nothing to lose, and I've tried so many forms of dating. I did it, and 6 months later, that was it."

• What She Learned from Her Time on Indian Matchmaking [11:04]

"Some things are done purposefully. I needed to have those happen. It's learning that I need to put my foot down and stand up for myself."

• Situationships and Relationships [16:33]

"When is this going to work? When is someone going to stick? But you know, it's always redirecting you to a more aligned person of you."

• Dating Before Indian Matchmaking and After [20:40]

"I went into situations with really low expectations because I get disappointed easily when things don't work out how I beautifully painted them in my head. Going on dates now, I'm careful on what I'm sharing."

• Dealing with and Addressing Intimidations [31:03]

"It's making me feel things that I don't want to feel and I want to talk about it."

"Sometimes we get so fearful of speaking what's on our mind and being vulnerable because they're going to think something about us and leave us."

• Nadia's Culture - Growing Up and More [38:14]

"People were coming from different parts of the world and it was a melting pot. It was great to have that. But I never really shared much that I did Indian dancing. It was until after college that I realized that everything was wonderful."

• Parents' Take on Doing the Show [46:49]

"I am super grateful for parents who are incredibly supportive of whatever I bring to the table. They've never pushed the idea of arranged marriage. They're very supportive."

• Passion Projects [51:00]

"What am I going to bring to the table? Is a wonderful opportunity to be able to share your message."

Follow Nadia on Instagram @nadiajagessar

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This episode features Danielle Ruhl Thompson of Netflix's Love is Blind Season 2. She shares about mental health, how to work around it, and how she uses different platforms to advocate for it.

• Getting to know Danielle Ruhl [3:10]

" There are so many aspects of who I am. I wanna show the 360 version of who I am instead of just an element."

• Feeling Off [5:51]

"I wished that anxiety and depression were taught in school so that people can understand what they're going through. You don't necessarily need to have triggers to have anxiety and depression."

• Navigating Anxiety and Depression for a Long Time [10:20]

"I didn't know what it was, I just thought I was abnormal and I didn't address any of it until after college. A lot of people actually relate to it so I started deep-diving. It's never too late to start that process."

• Having Conversations with your Partner [15:26]

"There are a lot of external factors and it is important to understand those in order to make space."

• Self-Care Routines [19:06]

"It is important to write them down to remind yourself of how happy it made you because it is easy to forget."

• Going to Therapy [24:30]

"There really is a stigma about it and medication. Normalizing it would help other people."

• Danielle's Relationship with Nick

"Being able to connect on deep levels, similarities, and differences, but also the energy. We both knew it was each other before they turned the mics on."

• Continuously Working with Different Mental Health Organizations [45:00]

"Always just continuously mobilizing mental health."

If you know someone struggling with their mental health, reach out. Or if you are someone struggling, don't hesitate to communicate and seek help.

With each conversation, together, we can break the stigma around mental health.

Follow Danielle on Instagram @dnellruhl

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Links/Resources:

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Kelly's Favorites

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Subscribe to My YouTube Channel

Visit My Website!

As we prepare for the end of the year, and a new year arriving, I have decided that this is my last podcast episode… for now. I felt a really big pull to take the month of December to reset so I can jump into 2022 with more clarity and heart. With that said, I'm going out with a bang! So for this last episode, I am gonna share a pretty private story. First, I want to say thank you! I'm so incredibly grateful for all of the guests that I've had on this podcast and of course every single one of you listening; you are incredible human beings! I don't want to discredit that because every single one of us has a story to share. That's the magic in that. I hope this podcast has inspired you to live with more gratitude, share that light, and create the life you crave!

• Having my first orgasm at the age of 33 - How? [7:29]

"We don't know what we're doing the first time. You don't. But then you learn. I didn't. "

"I am a survivor of sexual abuse and emotional abuse."

• I didn't even know to feel [9:47]

"I was never still, because I was bypassing emotions."

• Reprogramming the Unconscious Mind [11:46]

"Two ways: (1) Constant Repetition or (2) Through sudden impact."

• The Facade [12:40]

"With interhealing, I am so much more confident. I was looking for validation, love and acceptance externally."

• Disconnected [15:31]

"I didn't know what I liked. I didn't even know how to tell them what could feel good."

"I didn't know who I was."

• The Trauma [17:01]

"I had to perform a sexual favour, in order to get out of a situation."

• Avoiding Feelings [18:50]

"Many of us avoid feeling because it feels better to numb ourselves, drinking alcohol or drugs or sex."

"We disconnect instead of connecting."

• Orgasmic Manifestation [22:04]

"Manifestation is getting to the feeling of it already happening. Getting to the feeling of having an orgasm."

"Connect to yourself. Know what you like."

• Boardroom Vs. Bedroom [24:04]

"How you communicate in the boardroom is how you should be communicating in the bedroom."

• Self Pleasure is Self Love [26:31]

"It is so amazing."

In that moment when you're radically present is where nothing else matters. The more you can be present in your life, the better it's gonna be. We want to feel love, joy, peace, etc. What are you doing in your life that is making you feel otherwise? Let that go. Find a new way to do it. Learn how to do things that will create joy in your life. Use it for self-love and self-care. On another note, talking about sensuality should be normalized. I lived in more pain than pleasure, now I live in more pleasure than I do pain. When pain comes to me, I address it, bring awareness to it, and create a new behavior that will bring in more love, joy and peace. I only wish the same for you! I only wish you to feel more pleasure than pain!

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